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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not pay for train ticket

125 replies

Menopausecrazy · 31/07/2023 13:39

Ds is 16 years old. At the moment we are having real problems with his attitude and behaviour. He wants to visit a new girlfriend that lives 30 miles away. I’ve been buying him train tickets but I can’t keep paying several times a week , especially as he is so rude. Today he is telling me he is going to visit his girlfriend. He has no money. He said he will hide in the train toilets. Apparently it’s a victimless crime. I’ve told him that it’s wrong but he could earn money from doing some jobs for me. He has declined. What should I do?

OP posts:
Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 31/07/2023 15:57

Ime the first time he gets a warning and they take his photo. If he gets caught again it's £100 fine.

GCAcademic · 31/07/2023 15:57

BigBeeee · 31/07/2023 14:43

I hope he doesn't hide in the toilets. What if someone really needs to go and can't get on because he is hiding in there for the whole trip?

This. It's so bloody selfish.

Dombasle · 31/07/2023 16:01

Hide in the train toilet for thirty miles?

That's hilarious. He will stink to high heaven which will be a treat for the girlfriend!

GenieGenealogy · 31/07/2023 16:02

Menopausecrazy · 31/07/2023 13:49

No he doesn’t get a allowance as he would buy weed or vapes

Show quote history

Yeah you have bigger issues than the train ticket, don't you?

FireflyJar · 31/07/2023 16:02

DNLove · 31/07/2023 15:25

I'd ring the train station and get them in on a plan to scare the sh1t out of him. Pay for his ticket on the sly but ask them to make a holy show of him, threaten the police, make him experience what could happen in a safe environment.

They will not act on it for fear of reprise from an angry 'yoof'. They are also not going to stand in his way

Salome61 · 31/07/2023 16:05

Oh dear, so sorry he's thinking of risking this, he could get a criminal record.

My husband had just died when my son was going to visit different universities, and I was in shock still, just couldn't do the long drives. His girlfriend agreed to go, I booked the train tickets/Airbnb's for them. He'd told me they'd both bought a railcard and I'd booked the tickets giving this information. On the day of the trip, Newcastle to Aberstwyth, the inspector on board checked his tickets but he didn't have the card with him. His bag containing the card had been stolen from his car. He was told the ticket was invalid without the card, and asked to pay for a new return ticket without the discount - £300. He didn't have the money, and had to give his details, and was told he'd get a letter. A few months later the letter inviting him to court arrived. I had to involve our solicitor - he was going to get a criminal record for travelling without a valid ticket. I had to pay our solicitor, as well as the fine. Avoid if possible.

Ivyiris · 31/07/2023 16:05

As others would say I would let him deal with the consequences of his actions

LakieLady · 31/07/2023 16:09

Dombasle · 31/07/2023 16:01

Hide in the train toilet for thirty miles?

That's hilarious. He will stink to high heaven which will be a treat for the girlfriend!

The train toilet smell might mask the smell of the weed, though.

StrictlyJowita · 31/07/2023 16:16

Sometimes I wonder what planet people are on when they suggest things like this

Me too. A middle class white planet I'd say for sure.

It reminds me of those parents who say to their children in shops 'do t do that the lady will tell you off'.

NancyJoan · 31/07/2023 16:17

There’s actually nothing you can do, OP, so don’t.
You can’t stop him going, you definitely shouldn’t buy his ticket.

INeedAnotherName · 31/07/2023 16:19

LakieLady · 31/07/2023 16:09

The train toilet smell might mask the smell of the weed, though.

Show quote history

What a lucky girlfriend (not)

RedDeath614 · 31/07/2023 16:20

TinySaltLick · 31/07/2023 14:03

Get a job as a ticket inspector, follow him onto the train and every sixty seconds push a penalty fine notice under the toilet door until he yields

Then dress up as mick lynch and wake him up at 4am demanding payment

🤣🤣🤣 Comment of the day! Thank you 🙏🏼

SpringSummerDreamer · 31/07/2023 16:22

Has he got a bike? GF can get a bus somewhere half way, he can cycle to meet her. Or get a bus himself.

Better than a criminal record!

thorneyislanddoris · 31/07/2023 16:23

TinySaltLick · 31/07/2023 14:03

Get a job as a ticket inspector, follow him onto the train and every sixty seconds push a penalty fine notice under the toilet door until he yields

Then dress up as mick lynch and wake him up at 4am demanding payment

🤣🤣🤣🤣

OMG I proper laughed at this one!

LuckySantangelo35 · 31/07/2023 16:27

DNLove · 31/07/2023 15:25

I'd ring the train station and get them in on a plan to scare the sh1t out of him. Pay for his ticket on the sly but ask them to make a holy show of him, threaten the police, make him experience what could happen in a safe environment.

@DNLove

do you not think the staff have got better things to be doing??

viques · 31/07/2023 16:33

Why doesn’t the girl friend ever come to visit him? Perhaps she isn’t as committed to the relationship as he is, or has better things to spend her money on.

Dixiechickonhols · 31/07/2023 16:53

I’d point out the risks and implications if he gets a criminal record. Also point out giving fake details if caught may lead to further charges.
He’s 16 he needs a job. McDonald’s recruit from 16, the one near us puts teen lads in kitchen. It’s £8.40 an hour well above minimum wage for their age.
Agree a railcard is good mine has a 16-17 one. Buy that and say that’s it tickets are on him.
Why won’t she visit him sometimes? Sounds very one sided.

Yarsvi · 31/07/2023 16:59

Leave him do it and let him stew in his own juice when he gets caught.

Wheredoistart78 · 31/07/2023 17:01

You have bigger issues going on op.

I'm not sure I'd let my 16 year old walk into trouble and I have a couple of them.

gingerguineapig · 31/07/2023 17:05

These stories of people being fined because their bags with their railcards had been stolen are ridiculous. I can understand issuing the fine or charging the full amount for a ticket at the time, but surely once you write in with a crime number, that should the end of it - they rescind the fine/penalty fare or refund part of the ticket price. Especially if you have evidence that you had a valid railcard at the time.

Evidence of valid railcard and evidence of theft of railcard should = fine being waived. At least the first time. The idea that someone had to get a solicitor involved - what planet are these rail companies on?

Of course that isn't the case here and the OP's son will just get a penalty fare if caught.

RampantIvy · 31/07/2023 17:06

Leftphalange100 · 31/07/2023 13:40

Missing the point but can you even do that anymore? Where I live each station has a barrier you have to scan a ticket into to get out so if he did that here he would get to the station but then be stuck there

Where I live there is no barrier to get on to the platform. It is a rural line and the stations are unmanned. The trains have conductors who check tickets, and someone could potentially get away with not paying.

LuckySantangelo35 · 31/07/2023 17:12

completely agree OP
and think anyone who doesn’t agree with you is a martyr tbh and wants to wear their exhaustion as some sort of badge of honour like it makes them a better parent or something

mrsbyers · 31/07/2023 17:13

Why isn’t she coming to visit him and at least sharing the cost burden or can’t he get the bus which will be cheaper ?

EmpressaurusOfCats · 31/07/2023 17:19

Leeds2 · 31/07/2023 13:49

I have seen young people get over the ticket barrier problem by walking very closely behind the person in front, and going through at the same time. I have also seen station staff watch them do it, and take no action at all. So DS may be planning on trying this as a means of accessing/exiting the station - may have a problem if there is no one going in/out at the same time, or he isn't quick enough and the barrier whacks him which I think would hurt!
I certainly wouldn't be giving him any more money until such times as he remembers is manners, and would let him take the consequences if he gets caught fare dodging.

People who do the walking close behind thing thoroughly deserve to get whacked by the gates. It’s shitty.

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