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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Mumsnet passive aggressive comment thread 😂

356 replies

RootbeerLolly · 30/07/2023 16:16

I was driving through a small cotswold village yesterday and there were a number of roadsigns that really reminded me of mumsnet. 😂

First there were several 30mph signs. A few hundred feet along was another sign saying 'It's still 30'. Next was 'Remember?' and then my favourite....'Had you forgotten?'

I've no issue as the fact they stayed in my memory likely means they better achieved their purpose than if they just went unnoticed, but the 'Had you forgotten?' really reminded me of the mumsnet classic 'Did you mean to be so rude?' 😂😂😂

I thought it'd be funny to have a thread to capture these mumsnetisms. The other common one I always see is 'doesn't sound like you like her very much' which I just encountered five mins ago on the thread where the OP is concerned her obese friend may not cope with the physical aspects of the job she's putting her forward for.

Hit me up with your favourites or show me your passive aggressive anger at my daring to mock this established mumsnet institution!

OP posts:
wutheringkites · 31/07/2023 16:29

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 16:28

Gulp, I'm already panicking because I don't think I expressed myself well enough in that last post....
(anxiously awaits a PA comment....) 😂

You seem over invested in what people think of you @Catlover100

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 16:32

Ha ha, good one, I'm laughing @wutheringkites .... but somewhere deep inside I feel the Mumsnet panic - "maybe they're right, maybe I am overly invested in what other people think of me?" 😱

TheDuchessOfMN · 31/07/2023 16:45

Gently, OP…. YABU Flowers

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 17:39

A corker from a current thread i was just reading:

"Well nothing will change then and you're going to spend your life shackled to an abuser.

And everyone here is totally wasting their time trying to help you 🙄"

dontjudgemeagain · 31/07/2023 17:42

I'm not even sure if it counts as passive aggressive but it's such a Mumsnet classic on any education thread: when posters exclaim they are far from wealthy, they've had to give up so much to send their kids to private school! They work hard for it! Unlike all the other feckless parents who just can't be arsed to work hard and hadn't thought of a smaller car or fewer holidays...

elenacampana · 31/07/2023 17:44

I hope you’re nicer than this in real life.

Piggywaspushed · 31/07/2023 18:10

New to MN, OP?

I note the OP is a name changer

Advanced Search speaks volumes...

There are some prolific posters who attract people who name change to a similar name in order, simply, to wind them up.

midsomermurderess · 31/07/2023 18:16

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 17:39

A corker from a current thread i was just reading:

"Well nothing will change then and you're going to spend your life shackled to an abuser.

And everyone here is totally wasting their time trying to help you 🙄"

That's just angry, and nasty, nothing passive about it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 31/07/2023 18:57

This never happened.

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 19:29

"OP - what exactly do you want from this thread?"

OlympicProcrastinator · 31/07/2023 19:32

“I’ve only ever seen this on Mumsnet. In real life I don’t know anyone like this”

Said about anything that other people do, think or say that isn’t exactly like the poster or their mates.

Chickenkeev · 31/07/2023 19:33

OlympicProcrastinator · 31/07/2023 19:32

“I’ve only ever seen this on Mumsnet. In real life I don’t know anyone like this”

Said about anything that other people do, think or say that isn’t exactly like the poster or their mates.

🤣🤣🤣 yep!

DrSbaitso · 31/07/2023 19:57

OlympicProcrastinator · 31/07/2023 19:32

“I’ve only ever seen this on Mumsnet. In real life I don’t know anyone like this”

Said about anything that other people do, think or say that isn’t exactly like the poster or their mates.

I was glad to get this recently. I'm so surrounded by ridiculous performative undereaters that it comforts me to know there are pockets where they are unknown.

temosmail · 31/07/2023 20:06

Catlover100 · 31/07/2023 19:29

"OP - what exactly do you want from this thread?"

Lol lol lol

pintery · 31/07/2023 20:40

dontjudgemeagain · 31/07/2023 17:42

I'm not even sure if it counts as passive aggressive but it's such a Mumsnet classic on any education thread: when posters exclaim they are far from wealthy, they've had to give up so much to send their kids to private school! They work hard for it! Unlike all the other feckless parents who just can't be arsed to work hard and hadn't thought of a smaller car or fewer holidays...

Haha, yes -

"People can spend their money how they like but I choose to prioritise my DC's education. I realise not everyone has the same values but that's just me."

And the sacrifice of no holidays and a 3 yr old car, oblivious to those who can't afford private education or a car or holidays.

DrSbaitso · 31/07/2023 21:04

That's a very PA MN thing. A tirade of judgement, superiority and self-congratulation, finishing with "but to each their own" or "but that's just me". I can never tell if that last bit is sarcastic or if they truly think they're being open minded and respectful to difference.

Chatbags · 31/07/2023 21:46

When the OP speaks about her partner of ten/twenty years and they have a house, 5 kids and a chihuahua, there will often be a poster who repeatedly refers to OPs "boyfriend" as though because they're not married they're relationship doesn't count. I've seen it numerous times and it oozes passive aggressiveness.

Chatbags · 31/07/2023 21:47

*their

WhateverMate · 31/07/2023 22:23

Chatbags · 31/07/2023 21:46

When the OP speaks about her partner of ten/twenty years and they have a house, 5 kids and a chihuahua, there will often be a poster who repeatedly refers to OPs "boyfriend" as though because they're not married they're relationship doesn't count. I've seen it numerous times and it oozes passive aggressiveness.

It's never 20 years though

It's always Over two decades, like that makes it sound longer 😁

pintery · 31/07/2023 22:38

Not PA but something I only see on MN and not in the real world is people using odd units for their DC's ages: "I have DD (38 months) and DS (17 weeks)".

Always takes me a moment to work out how old these children are.

ImNotReadyToMakeTea · 31/07/2023 22:46

It baffles me why you...

PixieLaLa · 31/07/2023 23:25

Name change fail?

temosmail · 31/07/2023 23:28

If I was in your position I would abort.

eggandonion · 31/07/2023 23:59

Are you joint tenants or tenants in common?

mrschocolatte · 01/08/2023 06:03

“No is a complete sentence.”

I’ve seen this a lot recently. Winds me up no end!

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