So FUCKING sick of printers

[Medsy]

Why the fuck do they never work? I'm so sick of this shit. We can find a covid vaccine but nobody has been able to create a printer that actually, you know, fucking works?

I'm especially really sick to the bloody back teeth of "HP Smart". Why does this app exist and why does it force me to sign in when I just qant to do some basic bitch task like photocopy something. And now my printer isn't working again so clearly not that Smart are you?

Just seriously sick of printers, every time there's some "Issue", companies need to get their shit together. Latest one has WiFi apparently, but does it work? No, it fucking doesn't. That's fine I guess I'll just a cable like its the 80s

🤬

I've given up with mine. I currently use it as a foot rest under my desk.

I'm annoyed that this thread has resurfaced and appeared on my "I'm on" list.
The very word 'printer' is enough to ruin my morning. And it has 😡

Plus one for the Brother laser printer. It's a copier as well, and apart from needing to feed it paper and toner cartridges, it has been fine for ten years. Need to go touch some wood now.

Brilliant 🤩

YANBU.

Over the years we've gone through a fair number of printers of different maks and overall, for us, Epson have given us the least bother.

The current one, we went to our local shop, asked them which were the cheapest compatible inks and which printer used them. We bought one of those printers. Had it for 5 or 6 years now, hammered it for the first couple of years, intermittent use now, but by and large pretty good. And you can print wirelessly from your phone. It's a Work Force something or other.

Yes it does the bastard. It’s taken to disconnecting itself off the network for no reason whatsoever. It’s when it hadn’t been used much. I guess it feels ignored and flounces for attention,

Shitbag.

I have to agree with those that have found brother printers, at least they were fairly problem free 10 years ago and came with large ink carts which I've noticed every other makers has transitioned to a smaller cartridge each year. It's to a point now where the carts barely hold enough ink to print out a single 8x10 high gloss before you're running low on red. Does everyone know that they spray out red behind the black constantly? You'll only find that out when your black port on the print head gets clogged. Even though it's a black and white print, you'll notice there's still a light red text showing when the black stops. Naturally red is the most used color since it's part of just about every color combination out there, so red runs out fastest but then figure they burn it up in the background doubles the red use.

They're such assholes, acting like colored water is the most expensive commodity in the world at $100+ per ounce. Check and see exactly how ink is in a cartridge. Then they stuff it full of cotton that holds half in there unused and half of each cartridge gets wasted with the bullshit warm up cycles it runs through for 10 minutes before it even starts printing.

I swear, I put all new carts in a printer a month ago just trying to print 1 page, by the time I actually saw ink coming on the page, my printer showed I was low on ink!? Now if I never saw even 1 page printed yet, where did all the ink go? It went into the waste ink pad in the bottom of the printer! There was so much ink sucked out of the carts as it sat there priming and getting ready that it caused the print head to get stuck and caused an error. Each tie I shut it off to investigate and then back on it reran all it's bullshit and drained the carts, of course I know better than to allow it to suck them dry before the print head even starts to let ink flow through. I had 4 old carts filled with water that I put in there trying to get it going. Then I finally had it and took it outside tipped it upside down and stuck the hose inside it and let it run for about 15 minutes. The gravel turned a rainbow if ink colors. I left it sit till the next day, it looked clean, out new carts in it and watched it jam up, just like it did the night before when I thought it was due to ink build up. I walked it back outside and through it as hard as I could on a rock and left it there. I grabbed another if the 20 printers I have on hand and repeated this until I had I that printed a red copy of my tax return. I smashed at least 8 or 9 printers and had 4 others that are stacked up ready to be smashed when I need something to break. Smashing a printer really makes me feel much better than destroying anything else.

They're actually pretty dam hard to break. I like to stomp them then plug them back in to hear the gears grind then while it's struggling stomp it again to help it get going. I can't help but feel joy, I'm imagining it's the same thrill a psychopath gets when they're killing people! I'm probably just a lot more angry than they are when I'm doing it. 😃

yanbu. hp are awful. we walk to the library, chucked t. he printer away. ughhhh.

First day back at work … guess what’s pissed me off already.
Happy 2024

Probably the same people as sell lifts, which always require parts that come from a long distance and take weeks to arrive.

My HP Smart just suddenly stopped connecting!!! About a month after I got it! Can't find a solution and it's driving me insane... Absolutely useless!!! Yet the bloody thing tells me when to plug in to order ink!!! I feel your pain!!! Ggggggrrrrrrr!!!

Also just read this out to my OH, he said did you post that or someone else?! I said no, the OP has done it for me!!! I rest my case!! 😂😂😂

Totally agree! So often I just want to throw them out of the window!

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/inkjet-printer-dies-warriors-death-20150807100901

😁

I've come close to hammering mine a few times. It was initially behaving quite well but has recently taken to printing 2/3 of a document, then stopping for no reason and starting again from the begining, and infinitem until you go in and manually delete the print queue. So annoying.

I’m a fellow victim of an HP printer, despite realigning multiple times and speaking to HP support mine always prints partially off the page (when it deigns to print at all). It follows a series of Canon printers which were each brought down by paper jams. I’ll look at laser printers next time if they’re better. No more HP though, their laptops are shite as well.

This thread has given me the one thing I miss about work since I retired - being able to use the printer.
Not that they didn’t continually break down, destroy or lose documents, make up and downright LIE about errors, but then at least they were somebody else's problem.

HP lasers are fine in my experience. I've had 4 and they've all been good. It's the technology I think rather than the manufacturer.

Inkjets really are at the bottom of the pile when it comes to printing stuff IMO. The things are generally sold cheap and the manufacturers make money back on selling ink. The technology is prone to jamming which doesn't really happen with laser (you can get paper jams but not ink jams, which completely write off the cartridge). People like them because they are put off by the cost of laser cartridges but if you do a lot of printing it is false economy. The only reason I would buy an inkjet is if I had to print a lot of infilled colour area, because a colour laser would get really expensive with that. Colour lasers are not the sort of thing you want kids using.

I have A HP P1005 mono laser which was £50 and it now literally gets fired up once or twice a year to print some stuff off and works perfectly. My guess is that with the starter toner cartridge it would last me 5 years or so. It would probably get expensive if you were doing high volume printing though.

The HP all in one lasers that do scan, copy and print have been good for me. The thing I would really want to avoid though is getting involved in anything where they are in control of deciding when the ink runs out. For example my HP all in one laser has been telling me it has been running out of black ink for literally months, but the printing is still absolutely fine.

Another year, another 365 days of printer cuntmanship. My printer no longer prints using the basic print function in any software. Nope, it will now only obey commands from HP Smart. Anyone care to explain the logic to me?

Actually my HP laser was a fucking pain in the arse and is now in the loft to think about its behaviour but my Canon eco tank one has been absolutely abused to shit (I do a LOT of printing on it) and has only just needed the tanks refilling after about a year and is the best behaved printer I've had since the dot matrix days.

I opened this thread, and then noticed that Mumsnet has an HP printer ad in the side bar.

I'll never buy an HP printer ever again, they are evil!

I did manage to fix the "printer not available" thing by assigning the printer MAC address a fixed IP address on the WiFi hub so it would reconnect after switching it off..... Perhaps give that a go? Although IIRC the scanning function then stopped. Arsing arse stuff.

Our hp printer was free and that was too much. We go to the library if we need anything printing. We don't do it that often to get a new one.

Pleased to see I am not alone in carrying my hatred of HP and printers in general into the new year with me

HP pisses me off. But I'm a stickler for consistency so because I'm a tit I bought another.
The first of the HP printers met its untimely death by being launched out of the office into the utility room as I just couldn't stand it any longer. I was in a hurry and the fucking thing would not do its job so it got lobbed.
(Not the greatest at self regulation and possible ADHD so already up against it when things do not work immediately)

The second of its name still isn't perfect but is a lot better.

Oh and if you're interested. I enjoyed throwing it out of the room immensely. I only wish I had a baseball bat to finish the job.