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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So FUCKING sick of printers

135 replies

Medsy · 29/07/2023 15:48

Why the fuck do they never work? I'm so sick of this shit. We can find a covid vaccine but nobody has been able to create a printer that actually, you know, fucking works?

I'm especially really sick to the bloody back teeth of "HP Smart". Why does this app exist and why does it force me to sign in when I just qant to do some basic bitch task like photocopy something. And now my printer isn't working again so clearly not that Smart are you?

Just seriously sick of printers, every time there's some "Issue", companies need to get their shit together. Latest one has WiFi apparently, but does it work? No, it fucking doesn't. That's fine I guess I'll just a cable like its the 80s

🤬

OP posts:
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6
MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 31/07/2023 11:31

I rather like my HP inkjet. Print quality is good, never have paper jams, and I like the Instant Ink scheme. BUT - it does sometimes experience existential angst and decide it doesn't exist for a while. I suspect it's a bug in the WiFi connection firmware. I'm happy enough to keep it, but may well switch to a different brand when it reaches end of life.

kittykarate · 31/07/2023 11:37

I have a brother laser - it's mostly well behaved. It's crackers because back in the 90s HP had that best printers and software, were absolutely game changers in making managing printers easy on Linux etc.

hilariousnamehere · 31/07/2023 11:49

Canon! My studio printer is an 18 year old canon inkjet that I'm starting to struggle to find the ink for and will be devastated when I can't any more.

Mum's is a slightly newer model of the same printer, 15 years and going strong though is a bit dicey on WiFi.

And my home printer was new in 2020, sits on my WiFi network and works 95% of the time which is good enough for me 😂

Have had brother, Epson and HP in various jobs and freelance capacities and never again 😭

Insideallday · 31/07/2023 11:55

cuckyplunt · 29/07/2023 15:49

Why are you still using a printer, are you MN from the 90s?

1st response and just being obtuse. Plently of reasons to need to print in 2023.

mumda · 31/07/2023 12:01

I've got a laser printer at home. I thought it'd be cheaper than replacing a window after throwing an inkjet out of it.

JMSA · 31/07/2023 12:04

OP, I totally get it! I have the exact same set-up as you, and the printer currently isn't working. The app is accusing me of putting shop-bought ink cartridges in the printer. Why would I be doing that, you twat, when I get them on subscription from you?!

DuckyShincracker · 31/07/2023 12:05

I got a terrible shock when my Hp smart printer was actually out of paper the other day. I've had stern chat and mentioned Peter and the Wolf!

smooththecat · 31/07/2023 12:06

The only real reason to have a job is to access a decent printer a few times per year.

LBOCS2 · 31/07/2023 12:11

We have an Epson wireless one and actually, to give it its due, it works almost flawlessly. I mean. I do have to recalibrate the printer head whenever I get it out of the cupboard and last week it wouldn't print in black and white because it had run out of yellow ink, but other than that it works very well.

The bar is low.

Fairyliz · 31/07/2023 12:54

I had a tantrum once and threw a printer on the floor.
Not my finest hour obviously but I think I was justified.

SunshineIndoors123 · 31/07/2023 13:07

I had an ancient epsom printer that was the most reliable thing ever. I also now have a HP one. Hate it. Frequently has the audacity to tell me it can't print because it is "busy". Busy doing what? I tell you what to do, surely?

JudgeJ · 31/07/2023 13:14

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 31/07/2023 11:31

I rather like my HP inkjet. Print quality is good, never have paper jams, and I like the Instant Ink scheme. BUT - it does sometimes experience existential angst and decide it doesn't exist for a while. I suspect it's a bug in the WiFi connection firmware. I'm happy enough to keep it, but may well switch to a different brand when it reaches end of life.

My HP Photosmart randomly detaches itself from the wifi and it has the very tiniest 'keyboard' to input the code, drives me mad.

BogRollBOGOF · 31/07/2023 13:43

When we had an HP, I once had a day when it was being particularly obnoxious and obtuse, and I ended up taking some very deep breaths while resisting the urge to lob it from the first floor window. It was only the thought of having to sweep it off the driveway that kept the urge under control.

I can't remember if that was the same day that it sent me down to Staples for black ink, then waited until I got home before announcing that it couldn't possibly print in Black and White because it had no blue 🤬

These days I have a Kodak. It's no angel, but can be duped into printing by exuding false pheromones of calm and leisurelyness. The HP was too shrewd to fall for it. Bastard.

Verv · 31/07/2023 13:46

Ugh I have a HP smart and its anything but.

I have to pull the plug out of mine and make it start up again before I can ever print anything.

It's supposed to be on and alert and connected to wifi all the time, nope, never, not once.

Fucking thing.

bipsandbops · 31/07/2023 23:29

My HP printer cost a small fortune because I had to purchase it during the start of lockdown when you couldn't get a reasonably-priced home printer for love nor money.

It is also the size of a large microwave and is clearly designed for medium sized offices.

Despite this, it likes to tell me that it can't possibly have one ink cartridge changed at a time; even though it tells me at the start of the process that only one colour ink is empty, once I've changed one, it then tells me that another colour needs doing. Repeat until they're all done and it will not work unless you've done it. Whole process takes about half an hour given that it then spends about 15 minutes calculating whether it has enough full ink cartridges in all the colours of the rainbow to print a simple document.

Its electrical lead which powers it is also so wobbly and sensitive that it drops out the back if I dare to walk in the room.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 31/07/2023 23:47

Joining the HP hate. Every time I want to print something I have to turn it off and on again because my phone can't connect to it! Angry

Mrstwiddle · 06/08/2023 13:00

@GasPanic thank you for your reply - I think I'm going to bite the bullet and get one

Jaemoon · 06/08/2023 13:22

YANBU. I have a shopping addiction so buy a lot online and return a lot online.

I therefore print a lot of return labels. Thankfully I live near work where the printers are monitored daily so I print all my labels (and everything else) at work.

Zinds · 19/10/2023 05:57

I have many more printer rants than time allows, being right there in the beginning of the printer revolution (1998 -1999), when digital cameras were 1MP (and still took better pictures than the 50MP or today) and you had about 4 companies that made those big cameras. I had a Nikon, it took about 30 seconds to put the image on the screen and most times there was some girl who would erase them cuz they looked stupid. So the process was slow and you haf to have a special printer that could read directly from that huge 8 to 16MB smart media card and print.

My choice was basically 1 of 3 choices available since I had no computer, I had the Kodak photo pro!
1 big multicolor cartridge with printheads on the cart. To print you first had to fo a thumbnail sheet to see what you had to work with. No fancy lcd or led screens, no real fixing of prints unless you use the camera and have lots of time.

After 3 or 4 full thumbnail pages were printed you were looking at running out of red quickly. At $40+ a cartridge it adds up. But everyone was happy and no more waiting for those embarrassing naked shots to get developed and you have to go pick them up with all walgreens employees laughing and giggling. Yup we had it made!

Then computers were common place and printers were cheap and had big ink carts with separate black and color. Now ink lasted a while but still red ran out first so multi colored carts were not the answer. Viola, all separate ink carts! Wow, now we have the cats ass! Nope, photo colors! Now we have 7 ink carts in a huge expensive printer but look at those prints?!? Hmmm, cost a fortune and not much better quality? New camera! Yup, now we got it! Go to get more ink and WTF! Ink doubled in prics over night!

New printers offered for the same price as an ink change for my old faithful printer, of course get a new "better" printer! Have you noticed how so I have yet to complain about my printers? Thats because my old printers allowed me to refill my carts. Over and over, no chips, but they raised the price of ink to be the most expensive liquid on earth thats sold to the public without a licence.

The next batch of printers had tiny chips on them so you couldnt refill them, at least not without the chip resetting tools! Bingo, back in business again!
Ink was still costing a fortune just a refill kit alone was $30 and it was always a mess to do.

Next step was replacing your old printer thats covered in ink and smears ink everywhere, you find out that printers are now claiming to be super perfect professional devices that require you to use only their super high $ inks or you void the warranty.
Ok so what? Ive never had a printer stop working or need repairs in my life, ill just refill it and forget about them. WRONG, once you do that the printer would go into shut down mode after those carts run down. It would show a message saying you need to have it serviced! Could be 4 months old but you broke your warranty by refilling! So you go to their website and they give you some file to on your computer that would allow you to print 2 more pages before it stops forever. After it stops you see the message to call them. They would then offer you a discount on a new printer but you have to send your old one in to them to first.

They would get your old printer and simply reset the IC chip that blocked you from using it and theyed resell them as refurbished! This didnt sit well with most people who have been taken for a ride over the last 10 years, constantly being gouged and stuck paying way too much for colored water.
The printer companies thought they hadbthe world by the ass and thought they could do anything without recourse.

Now lets think about what they were doing and put it in the context of a car. You buy a new car, they tell you you have to buy there special gas and only their gas or you will void your warranty. You know the car will run on any gas so you go ahead and void your warranty, that should be enough already, you would think?!? But what the failed to tell you was your car would be rendered unusable after that tankfull of gas runs out. So your car shows another warning saying you need to have it serviced and gives you a phone number. You call and they give you a code to enter to get your car back home but after that it wont start and youll need to contact them to discuss what youll be doing with that car.

They tell you that youll get another code that allows you to bring it in so you can get a discount on a new car with that trade in of your old car! You have no choice since the car is unsellable like it is now.

Then they clear the codes from your old car and resell it as recertified. Do you think that theyed be able to stay in business without any problems or any lawsuits? I doubt it, so how did printer companies get away with this type of underhanded business and never faced a single lawsuit!
This was price fixing, it wsd tampering with yout property after a dale without any warning, nothing was said about turning off your printers for not using their ink! Bit theyre still doing this and now every single company except car makers are making their products fail on purpose like its ok to do this. There should be a law against companies that make disposable products and fine them for every item that ends up in a landfill and make those fines into refunds to buyers. Then take away there chances to get new resources to make stuff unless they recycle a certain percent of their failed products. If they dont then they cannot buy raw materials to make new pieces of junk! Put them out of business. Samsung, every vacuum maker, surround sound receiver makers, ect. They need to stop using up natural resources to make crap on purpose just to make a profit faster! They all do it. Very few companies are trying to make products that will last forever like it used to be just 30 years ago. Youll never see anyone repairing anything once the last stuff made in the 70s and 80s has been forgotten.

Printers have started the degradation of our world!

So yea, im not a printer fan, they never work and they charge too much for colored water! I once had 85 printers and after a year without using them only 5 worked when I went to sell them. Mostly HP with a few canons. Not 1 Epson out of 30 worked! I have a huge bin full of ink carts maybe 200 or more easily that couldnt be used.

whatchagonnado · 19/10/2023 06:09

It drives me nuts. The most temperamental piece of sh*t in my house. And yes another HP Envy owner here.

Can anyone recommend one that has a plug in cable and doesn't operate via WiFi?

Graciebobcat · 19/10/2023 06:12

Hear hear, they really are the most temperamental fuckers.

Mind you I don't think Microsoft help matters. My printer at home stopped being able to print documents from my work laptop for about a year (during lockdown when I was home all the time) due to one Windows update, works now, eventually another update sorted it out. I had the pantomime of sending docs to my phone and printing from there.

So FUCKING sick of printers
So FUCKING sick of printers
AussieManque · 19/10/2023 06:15

I absolutely hate HP Smart too. Why the hell do I need to log in to use my printer? Stupidest idea ever.

HippoStraw · 19/10/2023 06:16

HP, but laser here. Excellent!
It’s inkjet that’s the issue I think. They dry up, so they don’t work whether you need them. We tried all the brands with no success.

Graciebobcat · 19/10/2023 06:20

Yes I have HP laser at home too. It has been ok apart from the Windows update issue.

Caspianberg · 19/10/2023 06:26

Ours broke, ordered a new fancy HP. What a piece of crap. Got it returned and refunded after 2 weeks of it’s never just printing

Replaced with Epson. Has large paper tray that’s handy, and prints every time without any complicated procedure.