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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this weird?

113 replies

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 15:48

Approximately 2/3 years ago, my husband and I were out with our 4 children (then 11, 13 & 15). We came across one of our children's teacher with his wife and very young children. My child recognised him as we'd never met him before. We had a brief and polite exchange of conversation and that was that.
Since that brief meeting, my child has on various occasions mentioned how this teacher asks questions about our family, the way we live etc. I told my child that he was just curious and simply to minimise information given when possible.
This teacher lives down the road from us and sometimes passes our house; on one occasion, the blinds were open and he waved at me from outside and my husband was cleaning the car, so he also stopped to chat to him
This week, whilst we were at work, my 16, 15 & 14 year old were at home. This teacher knocked on our door asking if his young child could use our toilet. My child let him in and he walked in and walked into our living room/dining room (looking around) whilst asking to be directed to the bathroom. Upon leaving, he enquired as to if we were going away this summer, where and who we were staying with.
I cannot help but feel angry that he has come into our home uninvited. Add to that him entering with no adults present AND he's a teacher and should have known better. Taking into account his previous curiosity, am I overreacting by believing that his child needing the toilet was an excuse to satisfy an unnecessary curiosity? I don't want to overthink this, but it's been on my mind all week.

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 29/07/2023 15:51

He lives down the road from you but stopped at your house to ask if his child could use your bathroom???

Mortgageportgage · 29/07/2023 15:56

How far down the road does he live? I've knocked on neighbours before to ask if very small dc can use the loo rather than wee themselves, mine couldn't tell when a wee was brewing.

Luxell934 · 29/07/2023 16:00

Mortgageportgage · 29/07/2023 15:56

How far down the road does he live? I've knocked on neighbours before to ask if very small dc can use the loo rather than wee themselves, mine couldn't tell when a wee was brewing.

Really is this a thing? I would have thought time they knocked, waited for a response, explained situation etc etc it would have been quicker to pick up the child and run back home.

Crikeyalmighty · 29/07/2023 16:01

I think it's really , really weird too .

newusernamelouie · 29/07/2023 16:02

Yes I think it's weird. How far away is his house. Maybe he likes you? He seems to have an unhealthy preoccupation with you.

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:03

Mortgageportgage · 29/07/2023 15:56

How far down the road does he live? I've knocked on neighbours before to ask if very small dc can use the loo rather than wee themselves, mine couldn't tell when a wee was brewing.

He lives maximum 10 minutes away. Whilst you have knocked on people's doors when you dc needed to go, would you knock on a stranger's door?

OP posts:
KenIsAnAccessory · 29/07/2023 16:04

Definitely very weird. Which child does he teach? Male or female?

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:04

KenIsAnAccessory · 29/07/2023 16:04

Definitely very weird. Which child does he teach? Male or female?

Male

OP posts:
LeonoraFlorence · 29/07/2023 16:07

This does sound strange. Up until the knocking, it seemed ok.

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:07

This is very weird

very

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:07

How do you know where he lives?

doorstopper123 · 29/07/2023 16:08

Does he suspect your child is mistreated in any way?

Curseofthenation · 29/07/2023 16:28

That's very odd. Are you quite wealthy/living in a large house? Some people are quite nosy about how wealthy people live and their lifestyle.

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:30

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:07

How do you know where he lives?

When he was chatting to my husband on our driveway, my husband asked him if he lived locally and he said "yes, just up the road". When my husband said "oh on xxxxxxx road", he replied with " yes, thereabouts".

OP posts:
tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:31

Curseofthenation · 29/07/2023 16:28

That's very odd. Are you quite wealthy/living in a large house? Some people are quite nosy about how wealthy people live and their lifestyle.

We live in a normal house and aren't wealthy

OP posts:
truthhurts23 · 29/07/2023 16:32

doorstopper123 · 29/07/2023 16:08

Does he suspect your child is mistreated in any way?

even if he did suspect, it doesnt give him the right to snoop and enter OPs home without adults present, he should raise safeguarding concerns with the school

truthhurts23 · 29/07/2023 16:33

he is a weirdo and i would be very concerned
he doesn't respect boundaries, he sounds manipulative and I wouldnt be surprised if he waited until you werent home

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:36

doorstopper123 · 29/07/2023 16:08

Does he suspect your child is mistreated in any way?

Not at all...our four children are content and have lovely groups of friends. All doing well academically.

OP posts:
Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:37

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:36

Not at all...our four children are content and have lovely groups of friends. All doing well academically.

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have suspicions

but if he does - going about it completely the wrong way

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:37

How have parents evenings gone with him?

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:38

What does your son think of him as a teacher?

OnAWobblyFence · 29/07/2023 16:38

tuscany88 · 29/07/2023 16:30

When he was chatting to my husband on our driveway, my husband asked him if he lived locally and he said "yes, just up the road". When my husband said "oh on xxxxxxx road", he replied with " yes, thereabouts".

Why did your husband need to ask this? Including the street name? That’s more bizarre than a child asking to use a toilet.

Weflewinstyle · 29/07/2023 16:39

OnAWobblyFence · 29/07/2023 16:38

Why did your husband need to ask this? Including the street name? That’s more bizarre than a child asking to use a toilet.

Not as weird as asking to use the toilet

but still weird

YarisKaris · 29/07/2023 16:41

Very weird. So he was alone in your house with your kids? He obviously has no regard for safeguarding.

Liamgallaghersparka · 29/07/2023 16:41

I'd also be a bit unnerved by this 😮

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