Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

This is utterly shocking and i’d be so completely livid if my child. Those people sedated your child so that he wet himself!!! How did those people know he wasnt allergic to it? Really awful

If this is true then I would consider it assault.

The usual dose for an adult is 2mg so 1mg for a 6 yr old isn’t an insignificant dose.

So you use it for actual issues, not just routinely. Fair enough.

Are you the poster who had a rabies scare this week? Who is providing childcare when you go into labour? Do you have family nearby? Really hope you don’t have to rely on these parents. What a week 😦

Someone dosed your child up without your permission, when you were not there?

That is worrying for SO many reasons.

As a non-violent person I'd rip her fucking head off.

WhiIe meIatonin is NOT a prescription drug in the USA, I, myseIf, wouId not even give an OTC headache remedy to a chiId in my care without contacting the parents, much Iess something that (in your country) is by prescription! I'd be Iivid!

My thoughts too.
Who in their right mind would ever think this was normal,

In my mind this is no different to spiking someone’s drink. She drugged a child. What a creep.

OTC means a licensed medicine only available from a pharmacist. Melatonin isn’t OTC in the US it’s a herbal supplement available in normal shops. You can buy herbal medicines in this country which have side effects, interactions with other things here too, it’s no different. Melatonin is the natural sleep hormone, some people don’t produce enough or in the case of jet lag etc the normal cycle is disrupted. If you give it to a normal kid after a short time their body is likely to just stop producing the natural hormone and it won’t do much. It not a traditional sleeping tablet that just knocks you out. No of course your child shouldn’t have been given it or any other vitamin, herbal medicine or medicine without your explicit consent. The parents shouldn’t be hosting sleepovers if they don’t Want to deal with the late night or if they can’t handle young kids.

I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable taking any supplements routinely unless advised because even ‘routine supplements’ can cause horrible side effects or health issues.

I think the biggest issue here is that her child was given it without parental knowledge or consent and I really don’t know any Americans who would give someone else’s child melatonin. It’s not seen as a big deal here but it still isn’t something people I know use nightly and to use it at a sleepover I find really really weird?! What was the point of the sleepover if they just made all the kids go to sleep and gave them a supplement to make them sleep quicker?! Really odd.

OP, I’m sorry but I think 6 is way too young for a sleepover. Not trying to make you feel bad or worse, but I wouldn’t allow any more sleepovers at anyone else’s homes. You just cannot be sure what goes on or what other people’s parenting standards or safeguarding is like.

people were saying police before they knew it was the US.

It absolutely would be a police matter in the U.K. to give someone else’s child a prescription only drug/sedative without parental consent.

@Tummytroubles22

Yes that is me. We seem to have no end of drama in our lives currently.

My husband's parents are nearby and will watch our 6yo and 4yo when I go into labor.

My mum and sister are also coming over from the UK :)

That's the usual dose for short term sleep problems.

The actual dose can be up to 10mg depending on the reason for using it.

@JANEY205

I think my husband and I need to have this conversation. I don't think I could feel comfortable about another sleepover after this as this family are some of our closest friends.

@Tummytroubles22

Thankfully I am currently only 1cm dilated so not in labor yet. They do routine cervical checks here starting at 36/37 weeks. Another sign of over medicalization I suppose.

Hopefully the next two weeks go smoothly and you get some rest 🤞🏻

Surely this is illegal?

@Tummytroubles22

Thank you! I'm hoping to avoid any more issues for sure.

@gothshot

I'm really not sure.

What do you think would happen if you went to the police and social services here and told them you wanted your neighbours investigated for giving your child a Vitamin C tablet here? Because this is the equivalent there. It is not prescription, not regulated and freely available. The police will not be interested.

I’ll leave this here for the US folks who seem to think that just because it’s sold as a herbal supplement it’s all fine. That is even worse as it means it’s unregulated.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/study-sees-rise-in-melatonin-poisonings-of-kids-in-past-decade-especially-during-pandemic/2022/06/17/8cd5e3c6-e36c-11ec-be47-cbd01021a7bb_story.html#

My sons prescribed melatonin aswell, it takes about 30/45 mins for his to kick in. Why would anyone do that? What if they were allergic?! I wouldn't give Calpol without checking if they'd had any first. That's crazy.

don't invite kids for a sleepover and give them sleeping stimulants😂 if it was really late then tell them to go to bed, rather than give them medication!

It really isn’t the equivalent of vitamin C - closer to a Kalms tablet, or dosing them up on cough syrup to get them off to sleep.

I'd be livid. One of my children takes melatonin and I would never nonchalantly give it to their siblings (my other dc) yet alone to another child that wasn't mine. Children/people can react very negatively to melatonin.

I absolutely would escalate this.