Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

I’m reading this thread with horror at the fact a parent did this. I’m so sorry OP you are having to deal with this.
a quick search suggests risks of melatonin —a your child experienced one bed wetting , and there’s an increase in over dose https://cobbpeds.com/. I really would say something to your friend, they need to know how upset you are also the potentially risk they placed another child in. Don’t want to be alarmist but just because of the fact lots of people are using it doesn’t mean it’s ok. Look at what’s happened with wide spread opiate use. Good luck x

I use them a lot combined with 200mg diphenhydramine

Diphenhydramine also carries a warning in the UK not to give it to children under 6. There is also an explicit instruction not to give it to children to help them sleep: https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/diphenhydramine/

So the "Land of the free" is really the Land of the Drugged Up. That's nuts.

My husband spoke with his cousin today. He made it clear that we didn't appreciate the melatonin being given without being spoken to. My husband also pointed out some of the side effects of melatonin, explaining that they may want to do some research before giving it to their own children again.

Unfortunately, his cousin later sent an argumentative text countering my husband's points, claiming that his wife told me she was going to give the children melatonin (she didn't, apart from her 'joke') and he also justified their actions, as they only gave my son 'a small dose appropriate for his age'. We also did not receive an apology. I do not intend on our son ever having a sleepover there again.

We also spoke to another parent who had a child attend the party, and, while she has given melatonin to her child before, was also blindsided by them giving it to all the children at the sleepover.

Wow, you’d at least expect some sort of apology.

I wouldn’t have anything to do with them ever again. At best, they are stupid and obnoxious.

His "wife told you", yes, TOLD, didn't fucking ASK. Awful people, I'd never let my child be unattended with them again. Crazy parents drugging children. I had no idea this was so common in the US, I know some parents do shit like this in the UK, but hoped it was rare.

Nothing to add other than wtf. Well done for challenging it!! I've never heard anything like this - UK based.

@SingingNettles

I really did expect an apology. But in hindsight that was silly because that would be reasonable and what they did was unreasonable. We see them multiple times a week, they are family and this is a small community so we do have to maintain a relationship. But I don't plan on my children being unsupervised in their care again.

@ReadingSoManyThreads

Agreed, my children will not be going there again without me present.

So have you checked out whether they actually administered the brandy and kalms (not for use in under 18s) as well?! Or were you supposed to be able to decipher which part of the joke was oh-so-funny and which part they were deadly serious about.

Never ceases to amaze me the presumptions some adults will make about the care of other people's children in their charge 😡 Sorry you have to keep seeing them OP. Seething for you. 💐

This is definitely a safe guarding issue.
A sleepover for children that young isn’t very common, why were they so desperate to have them over if they just wanted to essentially sedate them so they didn’t know what was going on enough to bed wet, this brings up a lot of questions and I’d definitely inform the school if you don’t want to confront the parents yourself. It’s worth informing your GP aswell and have their take on it. I checked with a family member GP who was livid herself that someone would do this and give anything to your child without checking first, things like sweets/choc/fizzy drink or calpol let alone something like this!

They actually broke the law:

Not many people realise that sharing medication is both dangerous and illegal, even between family members. According to the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Authority (MHRA), anybody who supplies prescription drugs to someone who it is not intended for, is breaking the law.

https://www.weldricks.co.uk/news/why-you-shouldnt-share-medication#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20Medicines%20and,for%2C%20is%20breaking%20the%20law.

i agree with that, but OP is in USA and it is not restricted there, where it is sold as a food supplement.
still completely wrong though, what happened.
OP don't be too nice, too polite, to stand up for your own values.
all this going to church together, distant cousins etc doesn't mean everything they do is tickety-boo.
look at all the wrong-doing in churches, partly because people assume safety and wholesomeness.
always need to check it out.
all the best.

@alexdgr8

You are so right. In hindsight I think I was being a bit naive.

My jaw hit the floor reading this. Hubby needs to pull his finger out and address this - not you OP.

Family or not somebody would be getting citizens arrested until the police came to question why a bunch of 6 and 8yr olds were drugged at a sleepover - why have a sleepover in the first place to only force the poor kids to sleep?!

Exactly. It's unreal that it's 'super common' that people give theie child this drug.
They shouldn't be allowed have children

I'd be calling the police or child protection services. Absolutely disgusting and nor allowed.
What if your child or any of the others had a bad or fatal reaction to it

Exactly. I woukd find it hard not to say something physically

What in the world???? not in a million years on earth would i give any type of medicine to someone's else's child even calpole without the parents consent... sorry need more info, why would that parent think it's ok? why does she have that medicine ? how old are the children? would there be a reason why she would think it's ok ?

No because you can't get it in a bottle it comes injectable form and also giving it ro.someone who isn't diabetic could result in death neither can you buy it over the counter .
I.wouldn't give melatonin either but melatonin isn't going to kill someone you can hardly compare the two.

I'm sorry their response was so poor OP but at least you know now you can't trust them to look after your child.

Melatonin can cause serious allergic reaction, including anaphylaxis in those susceptible, and can also cause kidney damage/blood in the urine and excess bruising. So yes,you can compare the two.

That is terrible OP. I’m so sorry it’s really not what you need at the moment.