DS using grandmothers card

[TinyHorns]

DS visits his grandmother (his dad's mum) every day but Saturday. He will visit after work make sure she is ok help he with whatever she needs and on Sunday helps with garden bits etc. he's a good lad to her. He is 23. His grandmother does have the early start of dementia so I would consider her vulnerable even if she is independent and lives alone.

DS has recently used her card to purchase a new hoover, some bits from ikea and to pay for a repair on his car. I asked him if she had said he could use her cards and he just said "I always help her out" it was never a yes, which is obvious she hasn't. Spoke to his dad about it and he just says how it doesn't concern him and she wouldn't mind anyway as he does a lot for her.

I'm feeling really uneasy about this. His dad starts his pointless talk of how I should be prioritising my son and to stay out of being concerned for his mum but that's just him being bitter about our past relationship. AIBU to get involved?

OP this is a brilliant point.

your son thinks he is entitled to use other people’s money in exchange for a visit. He is stealing from a vulnerable relative - his own grandmother. He is showing you who he is. Most decent people would never do this.

make sure he never has access to your bank details - bank apps etc. in your shoes I would be reconsidering my will as well.

it must be heartbreaking to see your child turn out like this.