All old people should sell up family homes for families.

[benigogo]

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

@Needmorelego I agree

very few people know how long they will live, or how much money they need to live on. DH’s parents were dead by 62, mine lived to an average of 100. If you are using the property to pay care home fees it will be sold and there is unlikely to be inheritance tax.

On here it's usually about from 55-60, boomer, ya know.

No, I don't think that's fair. If you have bought a house then it's yours and you shouldn't be pressured to downsize (I'm on the fence about renters). My in-laws live in a 3 bed house which came in very handy when we were made homeless and we had to stay there for 7 months. A few years earlier BIL and SIL lived there for 9 months while they were saving up to buy a house. We rent a 4 bed house and out of the 6 tenants that I am aware of only us and one other had children. We moved in as a young childless couple and our son was born here. It's a secure tenancy and I would like to live here until I die.

wtf should "old people" sell their homes?

Both DH and I do gifting every year which means we can gift £2k to each child and £500 to each dgc every year. Also we have just sold a btl and given you get DS a £50k deposit to buy a house and paid for it to have a new downstairs cloakroom put in, a quality second hand kitchen put in, laminate in sitting room and hall and paid his solicitors fees. Last year we bought DD a good second hand car when hers broke and she couldn't get to work or drop dgc to school. The previous year we paid for eldest DS to do an intensive Class 1 driving course as he already had Class 2 and once he passed it increased his pay by £15 a year.

Hmm it’s a tricky one. I don’t really agree with older people under-occupying local authority properties. But the thought of turning them out of their homes is awful. Maybe the council house should never have been “for life”, but that’s another thread I guess.

My childhood home was 5 bed with the huge celler and big attic . This had been sold to my parents at a very reasonable rate from a family member about 50 years ago .
Then about 10 years later my parents downsized selling the big house to a large family .
I don't know when the sold it but a few years later I passed and my house along with all of the others on that road, about 70 houses had all been converted into one / two bed flats .
So that's 70 large families with no homes.

So making older people move out doesn't mean more houses for families.

Also why should they ? They worked hard saved and bought a home for themselves and family.

How do you know their circumstances - an older couple could have a dependant child or be choosing multigenerational living. They could have a degenerative condition that means a child or live in carer is on the cards, finally not all couples want to share - a typical 3 double bed plus single house means a bedroom each, a guest room and a home office/craft room

Oh do stop this nonsense @benigogo .

What is a 'family home' anyway? 3 beds? 4 beds? More?

And where are the oldies supposed to live? In flats? Small houses?

Where are their children and grandchildren supposed to stay if they live long distance and visit? Or even their own friends?

And who's to say that the 'families' who 'deserve' the bigger houses can afford them?

I wanted my DM to move for a few years before she died because the house was too big for her and expensive to keep in good order. She wouldn’t though, I think to some degree she viewed it as a protective buffer against the world. She also liked it when my sibling and I came to stay with our families and she had everyone running around.

My house was a small 2 bed terrace but is now a 4 bed after we converted attic and basement storage space. That space was useful and it would be good to have it back once the kids leave home.

If all 'old' people downsized, they'd be taking up residence in properties traditionally bought by first time buyers. I can't see the problem of staying in your family home until it's no longer a viable option- everybody dies soon enough and when they do the properties will once again be available to the next generation of families.

By the way, there are houses available at affordable prices, plenty of brownfield development sites it's just there's not enough work in those areas! The issue is better distribution of employment opportunities through incentives to move out of the overcrowded areas

I find the idea that the elderly should move out of their homes very distasteful, even though I appreciate the housing issues.

I'm in my 40s, and very comfortable in my home. I can't imagine how upsetting it would be if someone told me, 'your out, a more deserving family with younger kids is in, for the good of society, yadda yadda'.

Sheesh, my grandpa vowed to leave his house in a coffin, and it was SO important to him. He died last week, in a care home (that he'd been in for 7 months, aged 98).

Lots of people merrily stating their parents will live their days out at home... they need to either need to be ready to provide care 24/7 or have the money for a nice care home. Things get BAD fast, and needs become WAY more than thrice daily carers can manage.

Lots of people merrily stating their parents will live their days out at home... they need to either need to be ready to provide care 24/7 or have the money for a nice care home. Things get BAD fast, and needs become WAY more than thrice daily carers can manage.

Some older in-laws recently died & they were lucky to be able to stay in their home. You're right though things go bad fast & they payed approx 90k for carers in the home.

If I could be grated one wish though, it would be that well-off people gift more of their money before they die, to help their kids and grandchildren.A financial advisor once told me that even extremely wealthy people believe they 'need' all their money and that they only just have enough.

@nobodysdaughternow You mean you don't know anyone who does this?

Most of our friends (and us) have handed over large sums of money (6 figures) as a deposit to children and also gift £3K pa to each. Some of the deposit was money inherited from their own parents (so the children's grandparents) and passed straight down the line.

@OwlBlossom "Lots of people merrily stating their parents will live their days out at home... they need to either need to be ready to provide care 24/7 or have the money for a nice care home."

This is always trotted out, sorry but not everyone ends up in a care home. For some they do and ALOT of others it never does. Neither my partners parents or any of our grandparents went into care homes they all had able lives and died at whilst living in their home with no support needed.

My mother is alone and in her eighties. She lives in a 4 bed detached. Ideally she would downsize but given the complete lack of housing built or available in an appropriate size in a location which she could access friends and family or local amenities (given she is likely to have to stop driving due to age fairly soon) she has no choice but to remain where she is
It’s not simply a case of oldies hogging big houses through choice. Supply of suitable housing isn’t a problem that only afflicts families!

As an 'oldie', the problem is the cost of downsizing.
We still live in the same house we have lived in for many years. We never really 'upsized', so with that in mind it is harder to downsize.
As we live in London, then you have to take into account the expensive stamp duty, estate agent fees, solicitors, removals, and also any work the smaller house may need, and new 'curtains and carpets', a euphamism by which I mean your curtains (or blinds) may not fit the windows of new house and furniture may not be appropriate for smaller house, and you will need to change stuff.
So it is a massive expense.
It is also very stressful, and many people get to a stage in life where they cannot face the stress of all the hassle of moving.

@milveycrohn surely being in London you have significant equity?

"Lots of people merrily stating their parents will live their days out at home... they need to either need to be ready to provide care 24/7 or have the money for a nice care home."

@OwlBlossom It's not the norm to go into a care home. Statistically, most people don't.

Looking back at least 2 generations, none of my family has been in a care home. They all lived to their late 80s or 90s in their own homes. Two grandparents went into a care home for literally a few weeks as 'end of life care'.

We are retired and downsized recently from a older, spacious four bed, three recep with half an acre of garden to a modern three bed house with a tiny garden, it has been very hard fitting all our possessions into a much smaller space and it has cost a lot more than we thought it would. previously we had a kitchen, dining room, family room, study and sitting room. Here we have a sitting room and a kitchen diner.
However it had to be done. DH, although a keen gardener, was finding the garden hard to manage. We relocated from a village to a city because we were looking to the future when we may not be able to drive. So we wanted decent public transport (almost impossible in the village) plus convenient access to a drs' surgery, nice coffee shops, local pubs, restaurants and shops.
We've picked a good area but in a very expensive city so we ended up spending more on the smaller house....
Very happy here so far but I do miss the old place.

100 %

This is always trotted out, sorry but not everyone ends up in a care home. For some they do and ALOT of others it never does. Neither my partners parents or any of our grandparents went into care homes they all had able lives and died at whilst living in their home with no support needed.

Isn't it going to be more common though because people are living longer but healthy life expectancy hasn't increased. Plus in the past often family stepped in to help relatives stay in the home & there was more state support, better NHS care . My relatives I mentioned upthread went private for care because they couldn't get adequate state support & the only option was a care home which they didn't actually need.

@SiobhanSharpe So- for the sake of argument- was your house sold to a family with young children?