All old people should sell up family homes for families.

[benigogo]

Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

Absolutely agree we have a larger home because we worked bloody hard to buy it . I'm not going plan my life around other peoples needs.

@Handsnotwands I'm confused. You said

every single one of the council owned ones are occupied by single older people

when the old people die their council houses are sold on the open market for £300k plus, this has happened twice in the last 3 years in our road

So are the council selling off the houses on the open market? I haven't heard of that.

@Pigeon31 one of my parents neighbours never stops moaning about the fact her only child has deserted her. I know her son & they moved up north because they wanted to be close to family & that's what they could afford. His mum just doesn't get why he can't come down every weekend to do maintenance/errands etc. She could have easily downsized & facilitated him staying closer, you can't have it both ways.

It would be great if homes were designed with downsizing in mind. Eg the possiblility to very easily turn the upstairs into a seperate self contained flat. So lets say I bought a 4 or 5 bedroom house with my husband and kids. Initially I don't need the whole house since kids are small so I rent out upstairs and bring in some needed income. Then kids get bigger need more space, we use the whole house. Kids grow up and move out but they might come home to visit with their own kids. For that period of time its really handy that they have their own space to live. Eventually we get too old to entertain and maybe rent out the upstairs flat, perhaps to a family member who helps keep an eye on us, or sell it.

I lived in NY for a while and lived in a house just lilke this. There are downsides (noise travels) but so many upsides.

Why the hell should we have to move, we're 72 and 73, still very fit and active. Housework and gardening keep us healthy and happy.
I realise though that we are lucky to still be healthy though at our age, but we have looked after ourselves.

We will downsize in about 5-7 years when we split our time between our home in France and here. Families with young and several children will be very welcome to buy our house and to maintain and heat 3500sq feet, and look after quite a large garden - only 1/2 an acre so a large garden rather than land.

@watersprites apologies it was @Pluvia that I confused you with about being defeated.
I don’t know how to do quotes.

no probe

That is exactly what has happened. Next door to us last year and 2 doors down the year before.

probs!

@watersprites I still don’t understand your “productive” comment though.

Even with care home fees it doesn't always mean selling up, depends on your pension.

I don't think there are enough manageable and desirable smaller properties available for single folk to move to. No point in someone moving from a large property to a two bed place if it needs massive renovation, if the stairs are steep, if the bathroom needs fixing up for mobility impaired, overgrown garden, access , steps... you get the drift.

On the other hand, the expectations and sense of entitlement of some family units that every single child should have his/her own room and there should be, a study, a den, a TV/family room, huge kitchen diner and sitting room and at least three bathrooms is what is leading to the envy or whatever name you want to put on it of those who have this without the family anymore. What these people forget is that the large detached house was probably the last in a long line of purchases on the ladder. Not the first one.

My beloved gran died in her home 3 months ago. It was a 4 bedroom house and she lived alone in it but SO WHAT? She could have her family come stay with her, even a carer sleep there if needed and that was where all her memories were made in her later years. Where we spent Christmases, where we celebrated my graduation, where my cousins and I played as kids. You want to turf her out into a small, soulless 1 bedroom plan which means nothing to her just so a family with kids can come and trash her beautiful garden and scribble on her walls? Go take a good hard look before writing posts like this.

People say such things out of envy. They are unreasonable and have bad manners.

My IL neighbour who they persist in being friendly with kept on at MIL that house was two big for them now retired - in 3 bed Victorian terrace - one of the rooms just fits a bed. Funnily enough when her son moved out few years later and left them just a couple their slightly bigger house wasn't too big for them.
IL have never spent as much time in their home as they do now.

Our first bought house was 3 bed - double and huge open plan and garden - we did a lot of work and sold for under price we paid - just how the market went - but needed new kitchen - we did new bathroom it wasn't done enough for the families who looked - ended up selling to nearly retired couple only ones to offer as they want to be near aged parent in nearby care home.

Our current house is same sort of size but better arranged so kids get their own spaces.

Both my DP and Il did look at down sizing but the amount they'd realise vs hassle wasn't really there and it was hard to find suitable properties.

I always thought councils only sold houses to their tenants. Seems a ridiculous thing to do when councils are short of properties unless you live in an area where council has a surplus of properties but I'd think that would be rare.

I never see the point of these ideas/threads because younger people often can't afford to buy these large old expensive houses. I'm in a 6 bedroom 3 bathroom and with a downstairs cloakroom and when youngest DS moves out next week there will just be me, DH and Foster son. I want to downsize but DH won't because he doesn't want to give up his very large garden, double garage and 3 garden sheds. We have a holiday home in France with 7 bedrooms and when I suggested possibly selling it and buying something smaller DH says he wants enough room for our 3 DC partners and dgc to all stay together so no to downsizing. I don't think it gets used enough to justify holding on to it but DH won't hear of selling and says we worked hard to get it so don't want to give it up.

This is only be an issue when it comes to social housing. People can do what they like with their own, paid for, properties. If people have opinions on what others should do with things that belong to them, they are irrelevant opinions that have no matter or meaning to anyone.

Social housing is different because it is allocated according to need. Or at least it should be. When social housing providers start to provide small enough homes for people to comfortably downsize to, then people under occupying family sized homes should be obliged to move.

Good point I have 3 cooking apple trees, 2 plum trees, a cherry tree, rhubarb, so many raspberries and runner beans and strawberries too.

It depends where you live. Lots of big old houses round here for sale nd they are still building more! Very few jobs as its rural and coastal and no school places ....so not great for families !

What these people forget is that the large detached house was probably the last in a long line of purchases on the ladder. Not the first one.

I don't think people forgot that they just recognise that the ladder doesn't really work in the same way now largely because people are much older when they get on it & because of wages vs prices.

@watersprites yes I see the issue about people only getting on the property ladder by inheritance.
That’s my point. People shouldn’t be relying on their parents popping their clogs. People should be able to afford a home on modest incomes. But they can’t.
I can’t afford to buy. If I was my parents generation I probably would have.
There isn’t enough secure rental properties (“council” or housing association). If I was my parents generation I would have most likely be able to get a council house.

And how old is old 😀?

No-one should be preasured out of their own home, I think that goes without saying.

Personally I think we need much higher-density housing. I'm in the Netherlands and live in a row house. It's a bog-standard suburban house that my husband bought as a single man. But bog-standard here means three levels and (technically) 5 bedrooms! It's so much house that we use but don't really need.

His parents live nearby in a similar home, and we have already planned out how to convert our house into 2 dwellings, the entire downstairs to be converted into a single-level apartment for them, with our family living in the upper two levels.

They know they have that option should there come a time when they feel they could use a single-level home with their family on hand to help with the tasks that become more difficult with age.

So many of us do have a lot of unnecessary space that could be converted and used more efficiently in any number of ways.

I think it's practical for people to consider what adjustments they may need in their advancing years. Where possible, it's good move to a home that will allow them to live their independently for as long as possible.

I often meet older people with knackered knees or hips who can't get up their stairs. Sometimes stairlifts are possible but not always. If there's a downstairs toilet, it's possible to live on one floor. If not, life can become very uncomfortable or end with someone entering care when they otherwise might have managed at home.