All old people should sell up family homes for families.

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Not really an AIBU, more a hypothetical question really. This view comes up a lot on MN, and I'm interested in the detail of what people actually imagine when they say it. What type of property should they be giving up? What type of property should they be moving to? How old is old? What about younger people who under occupy a property? For example 2 friend couples, have recently downsized. Both from a 4 bed detached, one to a 4 bed semi, and the other to a 3 bed semi. Their homes were bought, one by a young professional couple, and the other by a couple in their seventies, themselves downsizing. If you hold this view what do you visualise?

Am also an oldie and planning to downsize in the next couple of years and gift some money to the DC. We have a huge house which I love but we don't need and I worry that if we don't move when we are relatively young the idea will become overwhelming as we age. It will be sad to leave but I feel it's the right thing to do.

I think that it does happen that some older people live in houses that are unsuitable for their needs and might suit a young family.
Houses with stairs, 3 + bedrooms, large gardens, etc are often more difficult to manage when people are older or more frail. (Ive seen this several times with family and older neighbours)

However there are so many more factors than the size and layout of a house/garden.
My dad lived in a family house until he died. There had only been 1 or 2 people there for 15 years + and guests rarely stayed

The house was fine for him until he was well into his 70s and his garden was his hobby and a way of keeping active. He was less than 5 min walk to a selection of shops and a chemist who knew he and my mum really well, and their medical needs. He was also 5 min from a bus to take him to other places and had amazing neighbours who had been friends for years. There were very few flats and no bungalows that Im aware of, in the immediate surrounding area that might be more suitable for him

I do think hoarding housing way too big for you without reason is selfish and why we have a crisis.

That said I don't know any older people who ended up living alone in a big empty house. All had carers or family living with them, so I don't think its 'old people' causing the issue.

From my real life observation it tends to be married happily childless career couples who are hoarding 3/4 bed 'family' houses even though its just the 2 of them (and maybe a pet) and they have no plan to have anyone else live there at any point.

I did view a house just the other day where the couple have lived their 40 years. Raised their 3 kids and helped raise their teen grandkids and are moving because its (in their words) unnecessarily big. They weren't even frail OAPs either just young-ish fit grandparent who cycle and hike. However a fractured pelvis from a tumble down the stairs they said was the final straw and they are looking for a bungalow so some will move of their own will.

I get their point as well my grandparents where physically very healthy (fitter than me even) and active but my grandad died falling down the stairs. Just one little slip and he broke his neck and never recovered.

Isn't it going to be more common though because people are living longer but healthy life expectancy hasn't increased.

The life expectancy of men and women has decreased, actually, by a couple of years.

Unless someone is very ill maybe with dementia, there is the option of carers coming to their own home up to 4 times a day. It's far cheaper to pay for this and even have adaptations done to a house, (fitting a loo, stair lift, etc) than paying £40K a year for a nursing home.

It was sold to a youngish couple who have since had a baby.
It is actually a great place to bring up kids, outstanding primary school. Ours thrived there. Until they were about 14-17 anyway. But at 17 they got their drivers' licences!

We did downsize from our 5 bedroom family house to our 2 bedroom home that we live in now but it took us ages to find it. All the two beds we looked at were pokey starter homes- one double and one single bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom. Nowhere near big enough!
Ours has two double bedrooms, two bathrooms, big hallway, kitchen/diner/sitting room and separate living room, small utility room, double garage, large driveway, manageable garden.
Until builders take note people won't downsize.

"The rate of A&E attendances amongst over 80s went up by 40% between 2012/13 and 2021/22."

"In 2019/20 alone there were 855,000 emergency admissions to hospital of older people which could have been avoided with the right care at the right time."

"Between 2015 and 2020 there was a 24% reduction in the number of nursing posts in social care and 12% reduction in the number of district nursing posts".

"Since 2017/18, 36,000 fewer older people are getting long-term care from their local authority."

"An estimated 1.6 million people aged 65+ have unmet needs for care and support"

It's only going to get worse so I think it's naive to assume less people will end up in care homes.

Sorry that was @DeliciouslyDecadent

If they made all the boomers give up driving in good time (by compulsory re-testing, making them do parking manoevres etc.) that would maybe focus their minds on moving into smaller houses which are generally in town centres*. There'd be loads of benefits with things like revitalising town centres. I'm all for it.

*someone will come along and say they live in a tiny cottage in the middle of nowhere... but generally...

Of course not everyone does. But no-one can predict who will and who won't be able to stay living at home. Circumstances can change so rapidly. Hopefully those relying on inheriting their parents' homes will do so but it's a reality that many won't.

Unless someone is very ill maybe with dementia, there is the option of carers coming to their own home up to 4 times a day. It's far cheaper to pay for this and even have adaptations done to a house, (fitting a loo, stair lift, etc) than paying £40K a year for a nursing home.

It cost my relatives 90k for just under a yr...they used a private care agency as that was the most viable option. There aren't enough carers to cope with the changing demographic.

I do think hoarding housing way too big for you without reason is selfish and why we have a crisis.

But this is assuming that younger families can afford those big houses!

Most older people bought their homes when houses were much cheaper and a smaller proportion of income.

Those homes are now out of reach of many young couples with families.

The value of mine has increased by over £500K.

It's out of reach for anyone now unless they have a huge deposit and take out a big mortgage.

The solution to the housing crisis is to build more houses.
Supply and demand.

Yep it happens quite often. local Councils don't give 2 shits about tennents if they had their way they would sell off all the housing stock. In my area I'd say about 50% of the 2 bed council flats have single professionals in them as the tennants sub let . Councils don't have clue who their actual tennants are in some cases.

@Superpinkflowerpower TROTTED OUT?

Trotted out as though it's a good thing that I advocate for? Sorry, no.

Anyone who thinks it's guaranteed that their 90+ parents can live at home forever needs a reality check, unless they are able to be there 24/7 (or close). Sure, some elderly people die quietly in their own homes but lots need significant support when it gets too much for other family members to cope with. That's just the reality?

I'm sure there are lots of elderly people who die quietly at home without needing serious care beforehand, and I think they are very lucky. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that others (like my grandparents) aren't as lucky?

@watersprites So they were paying around £2K a week for carers to come into their home? Sounds like a rip off.

The people I know were having it partially funded by social care and it cost the family around £8 an hour. 4 hours a day.

Are wealthy young people allowed to live in houses too big for them, or is it just old people?

Yes, I’d heard of this, but I anticipate continuing using our cross-trainer daily - my Dad used one every day and kept very fit despite living in a bungalow- he was 102 and still active right up to his final illness.

My parents occupy a large 4 bed but they’ve worked hard for it and they use it. They have friends come to stay all the time. They have grandchildren come and stay regularly. They use one of the spare rooms as a gym and one as an office the rest of the time. I think they’re utilising the whole house really but they’re still working and only in their early 60’s. I imagine they will want to downsize once they get older and all the stairs become an issue and they don’t need the home office anymore. I think people with this view just look at the beds not being occupied every single night and jump to the unreasonable conclusion that means they don’t use the space at all.

Managing a large house in Old age can be difficult and many older people do downsize.

There are plenty of houses currently available on Rightmove for families/ everyone. Although you might have to wait if you want to live in a particular road or have other specific requirements.

Not sure, my parents just bought a new house for £1.2m and the downstairs is bigger than our whole house! And we are a growing family!

If they did give it up I’m not convinced it would be a family who would the house as not many people in their 20/30s with kids could afford that.

@DeliciouslyDecadent they were live in at some point. Why is it a rip off?

The people I know were having it partially funded by social care and it cost the family around £8 an hour. 4 hours a day.

I don't think people realise the huge shift we are going through. The above is just not viable when so many will need support.

It’s certainly an issue where my parents live - affluent, rural area. But tbh only well-off boomers seem to be able to buy the properties whenever they do come on the market.

my parents - two of them in a 4 bed cottage. My mum has a whole room just for sewing in.

next door - single, widowed lady living in a large 5 bed.

up the hill - retired couple living in an enormous new-ish build: 6 bed, several living spaces etc.

having said that, they all love their homes, their big gardens and having space for family to stay.

I'm not moving from freehold to leasehold. Ever. Not in England.

Every new build estate I have ever seen has about 2 bungalows maximum built on it, that's it. On my 1980's built estate people have added second storeys to the bungalows that were there. Why should people who have worked hard all their lives give up their gardens and houses when there is nothing nice for them to move into in their local areas. The issue is not older people not moving, it's a lack of investment in decent rental properties and social housing by the government for decades.

From my real life observation it tends to be married happily childless career couples who are hoarding 3/4 bed 'family' houses even though its just the 2 of them (and maybe a pet) and they have no plan to have anyone else live there at any point.

And I'll continue to enjoy my four bedroomed house with just DH and I in it, thanks very much.
We are however selling up in a few months and I certainly won't turn down an offer from a family with children.

However to balance that we'll then be depriving a family/local/downsizer/blah blah delete as applicable where we move to, with our selfish childless house-hogging ways.