Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

it's almost like it's a perfectly normal and fine thing for kids to do.

But why is it more expected for children? Someone should of course have offered OP's friend a seat, but I don't understand why the thread is specifically "why did no children offer a seat?" rather than just "why did no one offer a seat?"
Lots of posters have talked about entitled children, but from the OP, none of the adults on the bus offered a seat either!

I have stood up for a child and I am a 70 year old woman. My husband, also 70, stands up for everyone. Not because he is a man but because he is very tall and there are lots of things to hold on to high up.

Smaller teens most definitely can stand up!! Anyone if healthy from aged 9 upwards. I've always got my kids up to stand if they are over 8. Why can't a 13 year old stand.

@BumWhisperers Technically your 3 year old hasn't even paid for a seat (trains usually free for under 5s) so she was probably more entitled to a seat, having paid. Why couldn't your 3 year old sit on your knee?

@MichelleScarn christ alive, so now teaching your children to be caring and acknowledge others is subservient?

One poster up thread said that a child should offer their seat to any adult who was standing, even if that adult was perfectly able to stand.
To me that is ridiculously entitled. I'm an adult who is fine to stand on the bus, I don't deserve a seat more than a 15 year old anymore than I deserve it more than a 25 year old who might also be on the bus and who would presumably not be expected to stand for me.

I think people take road safety an awful lot more seriously than they did. I sat on an adults knee in the front of the car on more than one occasion and my parents were better than most and fitted seat belts before they were mandatory. Younger parents who’ve grown up with car seats see the risks a lot more. I’d get my kids to give their seats up if it’s just a seat but on a moving bus? No, I don’t think it’s acceptable to
increase their risk. I’d put a little one on my knee. It’s ok to consider your needs when asked to do something to put yourself at risk. I don’t take seats when offered because I’m an able bodied adult. If you’re in a priority seat then yes that should be given up to the specified groups (which usually includes young children). If your friend is not frail as you say then maybe she’s not entitled to the priority seat though? I’d probably just pick a less busy day in school term time and be sure of a seat for day trips

@ChiPawPrint neither has the 70year old so.why are they more important?

Well yes, if your only marker re who
'deserves ' a seat is DOB!

I don't think children specifically should be giving up a seat. Any able bodied person should, not just a 7yo.

I noticed when I was using crutches that older teens were the best at giving seat. I could stand with one foot so it wasn't a problem but was offered a seat for about 50% of the time when it was full and everytime it was an older teen coming from school.

@MichelleScarn I get your point and no, I'd definitely wouldn't want to teach my children or grandchildren to be subservient - that'd why I said 'you'd be teaching your children to consider other people's needs as well as their own'. I don't think children's needs should come last, but I do think they should be taught not to ignore other bus passengers who need a seat. Often children's needs should have priority, random example here but say there was a queue for a public loo and a mum was behind me with a young child obviously desperate for a wee, then of course I'd tell them to go first. It depends on the situation.

Ive already answered this. We did sail and rail, we had paid for him. And we were surrounded by our bags for our trip to a funeral so there really wasnt room for him on my lap

My point is that instead of asking any other able person in the carriage, she asked a 3 year old. I tried explaining the situation, she didnt want to hear it. In normal circumstances I would have moved up - the journey on sail and rail is horrible and we were horrifically tired and emotional and still had hours more travel to get to our destination. She didnt go on and ask anyone else, just huffed so she wasnt that bothered

@CreeperBoom · Today 22:51

"Children shouldn't stand, not unless they are mid-teens, and tall and strong enough to do so safely."

🤣🤣This is crazy talk! Do you seriously think the average 13 year old is too fragile and wobbly to stand up? Have you never seen them on skateboards?

As an able-bodied child I had miraculously mastered standing up by 4, joined an athletic club when I was 8. Kids dance, play football etc. They're not made of china!

On a busy bus my mum would stand me in front of her seat and I simply stood between her knees, or if she was standing I'd put my arm round her leg.

I'm now a fairly healthy 54 year old and my balance is far worse than it's ever been. There's further to fall and I'd hit the deck much harder!

@MichelleScarn DOB is only relevant to paying. Obviously I’m not going to offer my seat to a chatty 17 year old but probably would to a toddler….am I now subservient to the toddler?
I guess you don’t claim anything from the government if you’re so agitated by the benefits it provides

Yes of course. My 23 year old son, would automatically stand for someone he perceived as needing a seat more than him, I’ve seen him do so on many occasions. As would my 17 year old daughter. I would ask my 12 year old son to offer their seat if he hadn’t. I suspect that having a mum with an invisible disability and who works with people with a disability may help with empathy here.

Honestly, I am having difficulty putting into words what I think of the entitlement of some people on this thread. It is just astounding.

I travel by bus 3 times a week. I’m always bewildered by the students who park themselves in the front seats, clearly marked as disabled. The students are always reluctant to move when disabled people board. Thankfully the driver always insist they move for the disabled.

Reading previous posts I’m getting the vibe that the students, who see fit to take up a disabled space, were brought up to be selfish and entitled.

Of course able bodied people, regardless of age, should give up their seat for the disabled/elderly. There’s no reason not to.

I loved standing on buses when I was a child. Are modern children less able?

When I was small, if you paid half fare, you were expected to sit on your mum's lap or share a seat with another child, so my mother, sister and I usually had 2 seats between us, unless the bus wasn't busy or likely to get full. This was a bus company rule, not just something we did. These days it seems that free travel for under 5s is only offered on the understanding that they don't use a seat that a fare paying passenger could occupy. I couldn't find out about half fares.

I think anyone should be prepared to give up their seat of asked by or for someone less able to stand than them.

If asked not of

That’s so sad if they heard but deliberately ignored her 😞 your friend must have felt terrible. Sometimes I’m in my own world
On the bus or train, must make an effort to look around to make sure no one is standing who needs my seats.

Well the people needing a seat can ask. It's nice not to have to ask but that way there isn't any offence caused.

I'd stand rather than expect either of my kids to. They're 7 and 4 so a bit limited in what they can reach to cling on to and much lighter than the adults around them (7yo is about 22kg) so more likely to get squashed if something happens.

Bus designs seem to have changed in recent years, fewer low level things to hang on to (I'm 5'5 and the high rails are in reach but uncomfortable for any length of time). I'm sure there used to be more vertical posts and metal rails on the back of seats than there are now!

On a recent but rare bus journey, me an my two dc sat down on the empty bus. It filled up with a range of adults but mostly older people. Npy frail as far as i could tell. More and more people got on and had no seats. I took my youngest dc on to my knee freeing up a seat that was then quickly taken. I sat with her snd my later primary age dc sat next to me. The evils and whispers were ridiculous. Most older folk on the bus could hsve stood for the less able but instead chose to stare at us. I can't stand with youngest as shes 5 and heavey but unsteady and eldest is partially sighted. She neefs me sat near her to guide her as we go. You cant tell this by looking. Why do older but able people expect dc to stand. Take it up with the driver. Ask why they continue to let older people on when no seats are available. If your unable to stand for your journey and all the seats are taken tjrn turn back round and tell the driver and get off for the next one.
Im very polite and i give what i can. I absolutely would have stood had it been me alone. Im curtious and respectful but i find most older people quite entitled and judgmental.

I always sat in disabled seats as a student because I wasn't able to stand for any length of time . If people said negative things about it I would pretend I didn't speak English