Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

You haven't paid for a seat... You have paid for travel

But if you are in a non-priority seat, it’s your prerogative to give it up or not.

That's true. It's also true for trains. I know it's annoying not to have a seat but the contract is with the transport company to get you from Point A to Point B and a ticket does not necessarily guarantee you a seat.

60 is only 20 years off the average life expectancy in the UK, or three quarters of the way through the average life. It’s some pretty insane mental gymnastics to claim it’s not old, that or crippling insecurity. It’s like claiming 20 isn’t at all “young” when it quite obviously is.

It depends on your experience, doesn’t it? My dad had another 39 years of life after he was 60, my mum had another 37. They weren’t even two thirds through their lives. In my family 60 is late middle age.

That doesn’t change the fact that the average life expectancy is 80. To be 3/4 of the way through the average life is obviously not young. In society 60 is old not young regardless of what you individually choose to tell yourself.

Nobody said it was young. There is a period between old and young, both of those are extremes.

Mid seventies here. 60 is not really old nowadays. State pension doesn’t kick in til 66, most 60 year olds are working. DH and I worked part time past retirement age, partly because our pensions are poor. We were capable, but 15 years or so on, older age is noticeable. Thats if anyone who’s seated on a bus looks.

I’m grateful to people who go upstairs on double deckers, I can’t any more, its difficult with a stick! It was a no brainer when we were young, just as not staying seated when a much older person was standing was part of our DNA. I think people were generally more aware of others, no phones, no headphones to distract us. There are still people who show consideration, and don’t talk negatively about ‘boomers’. If that’s you, thank you. It used to be me.

Because people jump from 'young' to 'old' just like that. 🙄

How many 60-year-olds do you know, just out of interest?

Totally agree

Oddly both my secondary school daughters have had no choice but to stand on the school bus journey for years. They've coped

My children are early and mid teens but have automatically offered their seat in that situation for quite a few years now.

My son is 7 and too little to reach a proper bar to hold. As a a result he ends up hanging on for dear life ! I'd give up my seat but for younger children they can be unsafe when standing.

Usually small children standing hold on to their parent.

@Blossomtoes very funny, he clings onto me for dear life but its hard on a crowded bus for me to hang on to something then to hang onto him!

You don’t need to hang on to him. If he does the hanging on he’ll be fine.

The problem with not teaching children that they should give up a seat to someone who needs it more is that they grow up into adults who don't see why they should give up a seat to someone who needs it more.

I think it's more confusing to ask a child who needs a seat to give it up to a 50 year old. What has that taught them? That you should give up your seat to someone who needs it less because...?

@sweepleall I didn't say children should give up seats to adults, I said they should give them to someone who needs it more. I'm in my 50s but wouldn't expect a child to give me a seat as im perfectly capable of standing.

I'm sure most would manage if they had to, but usually there are teens and adults who are more able to stand first before you get to young children.

THIS.

Clearly my teens didn't get the memo that because I didn't make them stand as small dc, they shouldn't stand now! DS1 offered his seat to a toddler last week. Because he recognises that small dc need to sit.

My teen neither. Consideration was shown to him when he needed a seat, he saw adults in his life showing consideration to those with a greater need, and from that he has learnt to step up now it is his turn.

It seems to me that some adults have the view that since they had to stand as children, that children should now be the ones to stand for someone in need before a more able adult. I don't think making young children stand before it is their turn to do so is necessarily a good thing. Let the most able, healthy teens and adults stand first.

But a lot of the debate on this thread has been about at what point does a child need the seat more, and at what point do they not.

No one (or hardly anyone) has said "my child is perfectly able to stand, but they're not going to."
People have said more like "my young child can't stand as well as others on a bus, so they need a seat". And people have disagreed about what age/size that might be true. But that isn't teaching a child not to stand for someone who needs it more, it's just believing that the young child needs it more.

If a 4 year old was standing on a bus, I'd offer them my seat. That isn't teaching them not to give a seat to someone who needs it more. And if someone offered my 4 year old a seat, I'd talk to her about why they did that, and how you should offer your seat to someone who needs it more, just as someone just did for her.

Yes, it's got to be pretty unusual for a bus to be full of only young children and those who need the young children's seats more, such as their parents holding a baby or toddler and the rest elderly and disabled people.