Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

Sounds like what the OPs friend was doing, targeting children rather than an able bodied adult sized person.

It is good if people who are more able give up their seats but no I don't get this children is of more need too than adults, that reminds me of thoughts people had 50ish years ago

In Scotland the only people who pay for the bus are those 22-59 who work, unemployed under 22, over 60 travel is free. @Bluesheeps how the bloody hell am I entitled to be the only person paying to use the bus??!

But why does any of that mean your 3 year old couldn’t have sat on your lap so the lady could of also had a seat?

Your message wasn’t about cramping. Your message was I’ll take a seat because I paid for it.

This is an eye-opener for me as most replies fit in with our experience today. My children are grown up now but I always told them to give up their seats, or sat them on my lap when they were small enough. I do the same with my grandchildren. Obviously I offer my seat too. It doesn't seem dangerous to me for a child to stand, no harms ever come to them in my experience. If you follow the logic of many PP's the seats on very busy bus would eventually be taken entirely by children while all the adults, including old people and pregnant women would be standing!

Then you've paid the same as the other full payers. First come, first served, sweetheart. You don't have your own seat on every bus.

Also, did you know, a higher % of old people are millionaires than every before?

There were 4 of us around a table, he wouldnt have comfortably fitted on my lap with all our bags etc with us. If youve never done the ferry and train across from the west of ireland down to london, you really cannot know the level of tiredness involved

I’d give up my seat and I’d expect my kids to as well. they see us offering seats to elderly people and I hope would follow suit when alone. If they were engrossed and or beIng s naturally selfish teen, and were asked, theyd jump up and be mortified (I hope!). Some sprightly elderly wave you away at the airport, train station or similar, which is totally fine, but l don’t think I could comfortably sit while someone more frail (of whatever age) was standing. On a moving bus, I’m horrified that no one offered someone in their late 70s a seat. What on earth have we become?

I don't know why young children (OP references toddlers) would be expected to stand. I would stand before I made my 4 year old stand. If I couldn't (because I had my 14 month old on my lap while the pram was folded for example), then no, I'm not making her stand.
If I was on the bus without my DC, I would stand for anyone who needed a seat.

Right. Ok, so if there is a different seat available, why can't the other person take that one?

I don't understand what you are trying to get at. I know you are looking to criticise, but I don't follow how you are going about it.

I have vivid memories of having to give up my seat for adults as a 6/7-y-o. (Late 1970s.)

We always moved our small children on to our knees (early 2010s) on packed trains, buses etc.

I would probably stand myself now and let the teens sit because I couldn't be arsed explaining/re-explaining/headphones in/headphones out but that's obvs down to my shortcomings as a parent.

I realise it's maybe outdated but I do think kids/teens should let older adults sit

When I was a child it was unheard of for a child to take a seat while any adult stood. Never saw a child get injured.

My brother fell and his tooth went through his lip when he was 6 and made to stand. Blood everywhere, stitches needed and he lost the tooth. After that, my mum never made us move.

Kids over 9ish and adults should definitely be giving up their seat.

Teenagers and able bodied adults giving up seats - yes.

Children - is it different in Ireland or do I just keep odd company? People put kids on laps / get them to share on crowded buses, but failing that ... I'd offer a seat (as an able bodied adults) to a child up to about 8 or 9. I think it is about balance. Maybe it's the way our buses barrel along?

Now you mention it, I've offered seats to kids on British trains and got no takers. Don't they look awfully squashed and unsteady standing at that size, though?

Must say I like the French system where you have a little list of who gets priority. Did you lose one leg serving la Patrie, or two in a road accident? We should crowdsource a protocol.

I think little kids need to sit - but that can be on a parent’s lap of course.

Older kids, teens and able bodied adults are all capable of standing for older or disabled adults (and anyone else who needs it). I’d expect teens/ very young adults to be the first to stand but any of those groups can do so.

I really don't understand this, 2 groups of people neither great at balance, neither pay for their travel, but one group feels they are more deserving of seat and expects others who have paid for travel to give their seat up?

If you follow the logic of many PP's the seats on very busy bus would eventually be taken entirely by children while all the adults, including old people and pregnant women would be standing!

Seats should go to who needs them most. Of course an older able bodied child should give up a seat to a elderly person with a walking aid if all able bodied adults are already standing. Not all pregnant women need a seat, I would not have accepted one from a child.

I think basic manners stopped being taught long ago.
Especially by mothers who go shopping in pyjamas.

Who is more likely to be injured if they fall - your 4 year old or someone in their late 70s. Who would take longer to recover if they were injured - your 4 year old or a frail old lady. You would honestly, truly, hand on heart let a frail old lady stand on a moving bus while your 4 year old sat down? Christ alive.

im astonished at the selfishness and self-centredness of some people. What a humanity eye opener this thread is. Op, you are right to be angry and I hope these people have to stand on a moving bus when they too are old and frail. I wonder if they’d change their minds about the principle if the boot were on the other foot.

Genuinely, good for you.

I think you’ll find everyone between 14 and 66 will have paid full fare. You’re paying for the journey, not the seat.

Gosh, it’s good to know that caring and nurturing is still alive and kicking - not. When did you become so bitter and twisted and when did it become a thing to punish those less able (or less fortunate) than yourself. What goes around comes around so I hope you’ll never need help or support ☹️

@Guiltridden12345
It's not a choice between a four year old and elderly person though. It would be exceptionally rare for there not to be an older child/teen/adult better able to stand.