Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

My DS can keep his balance on a bouncy castle. Standing on a bus so an adult can sit would be a doddle.

Why do you mention children rather than just any able-bodied adult? They aren't second class citizens. I dislike the idea that should be anything to do with how much people have paid. However if you're going to say that, then shouldn't able-bodied 60-year-olds stand before children as most of them haven't paid anything whereas children have at least paid something.

To be fair you have a point. Very often, as a disabled person I will not board a bus if there is no priority seat space available. I have to accept I may have to wait for the next bus and I plan my journeys accordingly . However I am living somewhere with a good bus system, where they go fairly regularly for the most part. So many aren't that lucky.

Maybe. A bus is moving at speed though.

It's not so easy to wait for ages if there are no seats and you are disabled though. Also the next bus will be crowded too.

True. In many areas that is the case, depends where you live. I am glad to have a lanyard, and a card stating I need a priority seat. Makes it easier though some people do ignore.

You think it's harder to stand on a moving bus than on a bouncy castle full of kids? 🤣

All it boils down to is everyone thinks their need is more important. The woman with the 3 year old will think their need is more important than the frail 80 year old. The woman with the frail 80 year old mother thinks they're more important than the 8 year old with autism who looks like they can stand. The pregnant lady thinks she's more important than the person with the broken leg. Everyone has reasons. But all that that means is is that no one ever moves for anyone as it should be always be "someone else." But they also never think that that someone else might also have a reason. People these days really seem to struggle to think about anyone else and their needs but are happy to go on and on about their own.

Indeed. Mine too.

I'm bemused by this thread. Most kids 4+ have had their balancing and other physical skills honed by soft play, playground trips, climbing trips, bouncy castle parties, PE and other sports and physical activities. They're at the top of their game, physically and cognitively, while their exhausted, overworked adults trail behind 😂! I don't recognise all the delicate, little flowers being discussed on this thread. I've seen whole primary classes crowd onto local buses for their end-of-term trip out, with kids sitting two to a seat, cross-legged on the floor and standing with their teachers. None of them moaning. I presume the teachers filled in a risk assessment.

Well, just a guess. I wouldn't be able to do either , so maybe I'm not the best judge of that!

It's good manners and respectful.

@VeterinaryCareAssistant respect and good manners normally work both ways. So why is it just children then?

I'm 5ft, does that mean I never have to give up my seat?? 😂
bloody hell why aren't we teaching kids good manners?

Those adults may have been on their feet working, have a hidden disability, be pregnant, be post partum or just be unsteady on their legs.
As I said upthread, I always made mine stand for an adult once they got too big for my knee. They stood at the side of me with my arm round their waist.
Then again, they were always taught to say please and thank you, particularly to retail staff.
To this day, as adults themselves, they offer their seats to the elderly and pregnant women, my sons offer their seats to ALL women, regardless.
They still say please and thank you too, including retail staff.
You might put kids on a pedestal and think they're worthy of being bowed to, I don't.
Now people are complaining about kids and their behaviour, well just look at what some of the posters here are saying about their little darlings to see where it stems from.

I agree. My children, particularly my son (teens), have always offered their seats to anyone who looks like they need to sit. Even if it was just a middle aged person (to him anyone aged over 30) my son would probably jump up.

That's a good idea about Japan . My sister lived there for as while and was impressed with the respect shown to the elderly people. I wish we had this here.

Children can have hidden disabilities too.

@B72 none of that "look at me ,my kids are awesome and my parenting is better than yours" long post has anything to do with my question.

Btw, DD is similar to your kids and gives her seat to adults AND younger children. Because she has learned to show consideration to everyone not just the chosen ones. Because when she was little other people did the same for her.

Why just kids? To be honest, ever since I broke my foot as a teenager and people didn’t deem me being on crutches with one good foot as a reason to give me their seat I rarely do the same. Selfish? Probably. Hypocritical? Probably. But there you go.

If you can reach a handhold and feel safe to stand then that's fine. Though, often there aren't enough handholds that aren't overhead. I would assume that Japan is better set up for smaller people.

You can teach children manners by modelling them yourself.

I’m presuming a child with hidden disabilities will have an adult with them who can say “I’m sorry we can’t give up these seats, but my child needs to sit for medical reasons”. I certainly couldn’t sit there with a 12 year old sat next to me and just look away when an adult came onto a full bus.

Children can hold onto the top corners of the seats - that’s what I do myself as buses here don’t have overhead handles. My DC who are younger than that have never had an issue standing on buses or trains, in fact they find it exciting.

Because they're not adults.

Not on Musmnet, the home of the 6'4" rugby-playing DS / 'stunningly beautiful and tall enough to be a model' DD.

No it’s not. It’s entitled to think a child should stand because as an adult you think you are worthy of a seat more then them.

We have moved on from the dark ages.