Children should be told to give up their seat on a bus if there's an adult who finds it harder to stand.

[DesolationRow]

I was on a packed bus today with my friend who's in her late seventies. She's not frail but is clearly an older woman who walks quite slowly and hasn't got the best balance. We were going to the seaside and as it's the first day of the school holidays there were lots of families with young children on the bus. Many of the seats were occupied by children from toddlers to early teens and absolutely none of them offered her their seat and their parents neither told them to nor offered their own seats.

Do most people now really think a child should have a seat of their own when there's someone who needs it more? If so, why?

I realise there will be some children with disabilities/ conditions that mean they do need a seat of their own but most preschool children can sit on their parents lap and most children over five can stand for a bus journey can't they?

I would agree with this except your words appear to be. The whole point about invisible disabilities is that you just can't judge from appearances. If someone asks you or your child for a seat, then just believe them! And if you don't need it yourself then you or your child should give it to them! People don't claim to have hidden disability just because they want a seat. A hidden disability is just that.

I’ve seen selfish and rude behaviour from all age groups, it’s unhelpful to demonise any subset of the population. If everyone demonstrated the behaviour they demand/expect from others, the world would be a much nicer place.

I agree. Just give a seat to anyone who asks for it if you can and believe them that they need it, otherwise they wouldn't be asking. I once had a young man (late teens/early 20s) faint on top of me on a hot, crowded train that had been stationary for 15 minutes due to delays/congestion (we were both standing)... he obviously didn't feel comfortable asking for a seat he very much needed!

I do think it’s incredibly selfish when you see parents with multiple small children all spread out with a seat each. Fair enough if the bus/train is quiet, but when another person needs a seat of course you should move small children onto your laps to make space for others, anyone who doesn’t is selfish and entitled. I don’t however agree that small children should be made to stand.
Ages 0-5 can perch on laps, ages 10+ should stand along with teens and other adults who are able.

@LuluGuinea that's why i meant by 'appears to be' that even if someone asking does look fit and able id assume otherwise and give them the seat, as would my dc. As above it's highly unlikely some would ask just because they felt entitled

Yeah anyone able bodied should move, I’d happily give up my seat but would want my 3yr old seated. It’s just courtesy. There are people on another thread talking about people being ruder these days and I do think that if you want to live in a nice society where people show compassion then you have to be nice yourself.

I hate to see smaller children trying to stand on a bus they are unstable and often not seen by other people leading to them being knocked out of the way and if they fall people don't always notice them, older children (less than teenage) often struggle too they can't reach to hold on and get jostled on a busy bus. I will offer my seat if necessary but I tend to sit towards the back of the bus in relative comfort as everyone gathers around the driver!

There's more ways to model good behaviour as an adult than to sit on your butt whilst telling your small kids to get up for someone else.
I don't expect my 8 yo or 3 yos to stand whilst I and other adults sit.

I do expect the 8 yo to perch on my knee or stand between my knees if the smalls are in their buggy. I expect them to squish into one double seat with me if not.

I expect them to sit nicely whilst I stand to give up my seat.

I expect eldest to stand whilst I stand with him.

In that order. As he gets older, I'll expect more of him. He already knows not to push in the queue, to say thank you and bye when we leave, to take his rubbish with him - more than lots of adults manage.

There's a massive difference in me standing, at 5ft 4 I can reach the overhead handles, and I can reach over to hold a bar. I also have the core strength to hold form if we hit a corner too fast. DS, at 4ft 2 cannot reach the overhead handles, and can't reach across the bars to hold on. He's more likely to death cling to one bar and if we hit a corner hard his instincts would be to flail and grab an adult. Which wouldn't be me as I'd have two small kids on my lap

When I was a child, yes my mum would tell me to stand up for an older person, but that was only from late primary school age. But then, seatbelts in cars weren’t compulsory, you often saw children riding in car boots, or sticking their heads out of windows, or sitting on parent’s laps, etc. We know more about safety now so younger children wouldn’t be expected to stand. Although they’re able, their size and youth makes them more vulnerable than an able-bodied non-pregnant adult.

I agree with this. My 4 year old is still in a 5 point harness in her car seat and will be for quite a while because she's very small. I think it's a bit ridiculous to suggest children who have to be strapped in with a 5 point harness in a car can stand on a bus. Some people still rear face their smaller children at 4 because it's safer!

I always made my dcs stand for adults to sit, it is a sign of good manners.

IamAlso4eels · Yesterday 22:27
Adults should be offering their seats. From a safety POV, an able-bodied adult is more able to safely maintain their balance on a moving vehicle than a child is, an adult can reach the support straps/poles for one thing”

This.

People suggesting young children older than toddlers can sit on laps and stand between legs, this is assuming they are with someone with whom they are comfortable to do this. They may be out with a grandparent or parent they are not this close to. DS was not in a 'sitting on laps' relationship with his father at 4/5.

Some posters seem to have forgotten that many children have hidden disabilities.

It is everyone's responsibility to keep children safe, especially their parents. Adults should not be expecting children to give up seats on the bus, it is important for children to be as safe as possible.

ah, I see. Sorry, my reading comprehension a bit off this morning.

I'm ok; screw everyone else.

If you feel like a shit (as you put it) there is a good reason.

I hope PPs like@HorseyMel and @MichelleScarn will work out how to never grow old or acquire a hidden disability

The poster has no shortage of high horses.

😂

But it's the people paying who are helping to keep
bus companies afloat. It's a bit rich to say that not only are their fares subsidising the free travel of pensioners (who may actually have more money irl than the paying passenger) but they have also got to give up their seats!

In the end people (including the elderly) have to take responsibility for their own decision to get on a crowded bus.

Now irl I would offer my seat to someone who looked like they needed it but I'm not going to move my child from a seat (which is safer, not least because it has a seat belt) for the benefit of an adult who has made their own safety assessment

It's a bit rich to say that not only are their fares subsidising the free travel of pensioners

It would be if it was true. It’s the government via local authorities that provides the subsidy.

A while ago I was accused by an irate father - who went on to loudly tell his child and other passengers that I was a 'horrid lady' - of 'racing' to a seat on a train ahead of his son. He was shouting and yelling and asking me who does that to a four year old? Did it make me feel big?

I'm disabled and was using a walking stick, and was walking calmly toward the priority seating where there was one seat free. I was in no condition to race anyone anywhere!

Wow

Wow! Some people are cunts