Argument with husband about protecting dog

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My husband and me had a situation on the beach yesterday where he was wearing our 5 month old baby in the carrier, and a staffie off a lead ran up to our dog. We didn't know if the staffie was friendly or not but the owners were frantically calling it back so the atmosphere quickly turned panicked and I grabbed my 3 year old and dragged him away from the our dog and the staffie. My logic always being to create distance between the dog and my children. Of course I would absolutely hate to see my lovely dog hurt or killed, and please can no one imply different, but I also would never be able to risk my kids for any dog, no matter how much I love them. Anyway my husband who was wearing our baby tan towards our dog and the staffie and was trying to pick our dog up. I was furious as not only the act of bending down trying to pick up our dog could of led to the staffie being able to reach and bite my baby, picking up the dog could also lead to the other dog jumping up to try and get to him and the baby getting caught in the middle. I think he massively put our baby at risk. The staffie thankfully did nothing other than jump up and scare us/our dog but it's more what could of happened

It led to a conversation about what would happen in future when out with kids and dog and my husband said he would never be able to walk away and leave our dog to be attacked but this just makes me feel terrified to let him go out with the dog and the kids together especially without me there.

AIBU to expect him to prioritise the kids and put distance between him and the dogs both ours and the one potentially posing a threat?! I really do love our dog but I won't risk my kids lives over my dog potentially living another 5/6 if we're lucky

Before anyone starts that Staffies are gentle or whatever it's more just about that situation of what to do. Would have same reaction if it was a JR or a XL and want to create distance

Good for you for missing the point entirely.

Feed the baby to the dog? Now that is definitely overstating.

No he wasn't, don't be so silly.

He was acting completely irrationally out of panic though, rather than taking a couple of seconds to actually assess the situation and decide what to do.

Even if the other dog had been hell bent on attacking his dog, picking his dog up would have been a ridiculous move. He was hardly going to be able to protect it from a determinedly vicious dog!

This is what I mean about people panicking instead of judging the situation and reacting appropriately.

OP, I'd drop the subject until everyone is properly calmed down. He might well realise you're right but still be feeling too defensive and shaken to admit it.

In truth, there are quite a few scenarios where the dog would fair better without a human involved. They have the freedom to move, evade and run.

It's very hard to make the correct judgement call on whether it is that kind of scenario or the kind where human intervention could help - in the heat of the moment.

I've had a dog almost killed by a strange/offlead attacking dog. It's deeply distressing. But even in close quarters, the humans around could not make a real difference to the outcome. I didn't have a baby with me, but I had another dog and was 'forced' to stay at a distance for fear of him getting caught in it also - he was the smaller and weaker of my dogs and likely to come out even worse than the female.

Eventually, the other owner was able to drag their dog off, but they were badly bitten themsleves in the process and I cannot really say it ended the attack any quicker than it would have ended anyway - by that point my dog was quiet and limp and half her skin was torn away.

So I know what the heat of the monent is really like and I know how fucking awful it is not to be able to help, but I also know that would have been a whole world worse had a baby been involved also. Or a toddler kept close to the scene by an intervening parent and forced to watch it. Or bitten themselves.

p.s. my little dog pulled through; several hours of surgery, several staples and a fucking awesome attitude and she lived another 8+ years of happiness and health.

Did the dog steal your picnic as well? 😅

The problem is your DH obviously loves your dog very much and you’re asking him to agree that he would leave this creature, who he loves and is responsible for, to be mauled, get hurt and die. That would be hard for most people who love their dogs to agree to.

You are also catastrophising a bit. It’s unlikely a fully grown man would be killed by a dog in public where there are multiple people to intervene. Because you’re catastrophising it’s easier for him to dismiss your concerns.

That said, he shouldn’t have leaned in with the baby. But a more reasonable conversation would be about what could be done in this scenario - keeping your dog on the lead, not baby wearing on a dog walk, you baby wear rather than him, so on and so forth.

I agree, he was offering the baby as 'bait' to the dog to distract it away from his dog 😱

@tootallfortheshelf you're always being ridiculously alarmist about any situation at all threat involves dogs. Thanks for flagging up your idiocy so clearly.

So we only protect our children once something catastrophic happens and don’t even bother trying to to prevent a disaster?

I agree with this.

No dog’s life is worth more than a child’s.

I completely agree with you OP. Your DH should have moved away and left the dog. I do think he probably acted on instinct and may be getting defensive now. Hopefully he has realised how dangerous it was to bend down with the baby towards the dogs.

I think you should have the conversation again in a few days when everyone has calmed down. Stress that you aren't angry with him for how he acted in this situation but that you are worried what could happen in a similar future situation. Try and agree an action plan.

We had this situation on a beach on holiday. Our lab who is old is always on a lead and 2 alsatians cane flying from nowhere with no owner in sight they did actually start growling at our dog hubby scooped up 2 toddlers and I scooped the 3rd much as I love my dog to pieces we can't replace our children should god forbid anything happen. Eventually an owner appeared and by gum was she nasty said we distracted her dogs and a lot of swearing so my hubby pointed out they didn't recall when she did eventually call and as she was next to us they started growling at ours again. Anyway she was not pleasant and I won't forget that walk in a hurry.

Honestly this is partly why I would never walk a dog with a young child - I wouldn't feel confident protecting both child and managing dog. Also, how the hell do you pick up dog poo with a baby in a carrier?

Your husband was an idiot, not least because by running towards the dogs and interfering he’s potentially escalating the situation.

It’s not good that the dog ran up to yours with no recall but unfortunately it’s pretty usual for dogs to be off lead on the beach and approach each other, 99.9% of the time everything is fine so it all seems like an over reaction to be honest.

An aggressive dog is going nuts so yea I do think bending down to put a baby’s head near the aggressive dog’s mouth is like feeding it to the dog. I’m shocked any parent could have such poor instinct

The problem is your DH obviously loves your dog very much and you’re asking him to agree that he would leave this creature, who he loves and is responsible for, to be mauled, get hurt and die. That would be hard for most people who love their dogs to agree to.

Really? I’ve been a dog owner when my eldest was a baby and I would think twice about getting away if my baby was in danger. This was a very easy decision for me to make

That is hyperbole at its finest.
OP I would I would be fucked off. I adore our dogs but my children come first.

An aggressive dog is going nuts so yea I do think bending down to put a baby’s head near the aggressive dog’s mouth is like feeding it to the dog. I’m shocked any parent could have such poor instinct

Well i wouldn't move a child closer to a strange dog running towards mine either but what exactly are you hoping to achieve by hyperbolically telling OP that her DH was "feeding" their baby to a dog? (A dog that, luckily, on this occasion was bouncy rather than aggressive, but could have been attacking.)

He's an idiot. You can't trust him to have the kids and the dog.

This wont be popular but let's assume he did react on instinct - at least now we know, I'd be getting rid of the dog.

😂 do you know how to crouch?

I would find it hard to be too judgmental about how someone reacted instinctively, in the moment.

I would be furious to know someone had thoughtfully considered putting a babay at risk for the sake of a dog.

I agree, he was offering the baby as 'bait' to the dog to distract it away from his dog 😱

Ffs, how on earth do people like this poster get through the day being so ludicrously dramatic

Yes, your husband is an idiot. Damn the dog, protect the child.

Op, stick your dog on a lead and then you would be able to walk away with the dog.