To return to MN after a decade & think it’s changed a lot

[ExNorfolk]

Do you think MN has changed in the last decade?

Observations: to me it seems that people are more stressed, more aggressive & quicker to judge, and less tolerant and supportive. Possibly more right wing. Users maybe older? 45-55 instead of 35-45 (which would make sense if it’s the same users a decade on)
These are generalisations. I’ve lurked and read about 100 threads in different forums. AIBU was always a bit of a brawl. But the general rise in snark seems to me to be more widespread.
(yes, I know I don’t have to post here, and could go somewhere else). I am just interested to know your experience

It's definitely now full of hysterical posters with no coping life skills whatsoever.
Everyone suffers from 'anxiety' or their kids do.

Definitely seeing more people who are distressed and anxious and more people who are irritated by and dismissive of other people’s distress,
AIBU used to be more funny/snarky,
now the humour is less frequent.

I think AIBU is more nasty now. Seems full of people ready to jump on the OP over the smallest thing rather than approach the issue with any sympathy.

There was a thread earlier and a women was asking for support (husband hit her) and someone was really mean about her posting

I don’t think that was the vibe 10 years ago and it’s really sad

It has changed a lot but not just in bad ways. Some good!
It was always a bit of both although it was easier to spot the not so nice posters. Now we all name change often and people seem to use that as a way of being knobs sometimes.

I think it's life in general- a lot of people seem quite flakey, less sociable, easy to judge. I think the last few years be it politics or covid or Brexit and the world situation generally has made many people more anxious and insecure (quite naturally too - particularly in UK) and it comes out in the above ways in life and Mumsnet

I was here over 20 years ago and yes it has changed hugely imo. So much nastier, unkind and more aggressive, I’ve begun to wonder if some of the posters are actually male or teenagers or both. I used to find it so much more supportive.

I found some of the attitudes on the recent thread of giving a pregnant woman a seat on the tube really shocking for example.

People seem to pick a fight over absolutely anything.

I would often have tears of laughter pouring down my face from some of the threads. Mumsnet seems a lot more serious nowadays. I’m a bit more wary of posting than I used to be for fear of being shot down in flames.

I agree. There’s more aggression in the world - on the roads, in shops, on public transport - tolerance levels are at rock bottom.

I’ve been here 11 years on and off.

It’s less cliquey nowadays; far fewer shout-out-to-bitch-about threads. This is an improvement.

However, it’s way less funny. I never find myself snorting anymore. Posters are more likely to have stupid twee usernames. I think we’ve inherited the Nethuns contingent, and penis beaker did us no favours.

I've been here for years and can't recall it ever being somewhere that was tears rolling down the cheeks funny.

Yes the world is less tolerant but the world is a more unpleasant place than it was a decade ago.

It definitely all fell apart after you left, @ExNorfolk, but we powered through.

I've been here a long time and it's definitely worse in a lot of ways.
There are still bright and interesting posters but it doesn't seem to take much for someone to be needlessly rude or stroppy. yy to no life coping skills. there's not as much tolerance as there used to be and I can't imagine anyone ever changes their mind about anything!
I used to laugh and laugh, it's not as funny these days.

This. Always interesting to me to revisit places you used to hang out years ago and see how they have changed (online or offline). U.K. vibe in general does seem more unhappy. MN of the past would have far fewer posts which were just barbs/digs or cruelties for the sake of being vicious.

Way less entertaining posts.
Far more aggressive responses.
So much one upmanship

You can post about the most minor thing, and chances are someone will come along and nitpick something about it.

I came back recently after a break and the level of misogyny is through the roof right now. The most disgusting things being said about young women for their clothing choices and the insistence on blaming women for men's broken promises.

A small comfort is that I don't think all the posters doing this are women IRL, even if they do have female usernames. But some definitely are.

I know there was always a good chance you'd be pilloried if you posted here asking for life advice, so I don't know if my memory is at fault, but it does seem less friendly still in that regard too. There just doesn't seem to be any much goodwill among it as I recall when I was pregnant/ mine were very young.

I might complete my migration to Tattle. I don't find the subject matter as interesting (haven't heard of many of these people) and it's definitely vicious towards public figures, but within itself it's much more friendly, supportive and non-judgemental.

I use mute/blocking liberally on other social media (mostly Twitter) because I don’t want to read posts from people who have nothing to contribute but pointless rudeness and aggression. If MN had that function I wonder if it would be different?

I definitely remember some absolutely hilarious threads. Laughing at 3 am feeding my baby. There probably are still some funny threads but not found any yet.

MN still useful for asking about things like where to get extra narrow school shoes or whatever, but the urge to scroll with a cup of tea and enjoy a wide range of takes on everyday life dramas, useful advice, thoughtful takes on social or political or news stories isn’t as strong now. I was looking to get off Twitter and had hoped that MN could be a good sub but I guess not.

it is interesting hearing your takes, thanks.

I'm glad the cliques have gone tbh. You could be on a thread and be ignored, despite trying to interact, and people would be having "in" jokes amongst each other. I imagine these would be the people I'd have avoided at the school gates because I hate cliques!

I joined in 2016 but the main difference I’ve noticed is pre- and post-Covid. People are so much nastier now, especially on AIBU- people seem to think posting on this topic gives them carte blanche to be as unpleasant as they like. During the first lockdown it was fucking awful.

It's definitely now full of hysterical posters with no coping life skills whatsoever.
Everyone suffers from 'anxiety' or their kids do.
This!!!
Almost every post is signed off with " I suffer with anxiety " I find this very worrying as I know very few people in real life who does but on Mumsnet it tends to be the official disclaimer on every post. I am not for once minimising anxiety however it's astonishing how many posters appear to suffer with it. Don't we all go through a level of anxiety towards certain situations in life ? I'm not sure whether this phrase is being misused on here , quite similarly to " I'm stressed"

There was a massive thread yesterday about the olden days.

it did used to be very funny on here and sadly it’s way more snarky and passive aggressive nowadays. I mean who can be arsed to sit on here all day giving posters a kicking ?

It seems to be much more a place for telling people off than it was. Feel that really came out clearly during Covid.

Lots of humourless people proliferating.

Were there always as many threads started by an OP who then never returns? Usually with an element of goadyness.

AIBU had the most brutal comments from some but there used to be at the very least 3 or 4 threads a week that had me howling laughing. The comments were so quick witted without being cruel.

There are a lot of things I might start threads on but now get too concerned they'll be met with online aggression iyswim

There are definitely more trolls, people who are deliberately trying to create goady threads or say mean things just to be mean. I think that is a shame but as it’s popularity grew I suppose it became a target for manipulation.

I have been on it 14 years and don’t remember it ever being cliquey. I still do like it for being a collective of women.