To return to MN after a decade & think it’s changed a lot

[ExNorfolk]

Do you think MN has changed in the last decade?

Observations: to me it seems that people are more stressed, more aggressive & quicker to judge, and less tolerant and supportive. Possibly more right wing. Users maybe older? 45-55 instead of 35-45 (which would make sense if it’s the same users a decade on)
These are generalisations. I’ve lurked and read about 100 threads in different forums. AIBU was always a bit of a brawl. But the general rise in snark seems to me to be more widespread.
(yes, I know I don’t have to post here, and could go somewhere else). I am just interested to know your experience

It used to be funnier and more supportive. It’s now more right wing and spiteful but I think that’s a reflection of the political environment and the current mood of the country as a result.

I used MN about 15yrs ago. Rejoined again more recently.

What I liked, before, was the general sweeping level of intelligence. I'd ask things that I knew I would receive well thought out responses. Actually useful and I'd use the advice, it was like a high level pool of personalised information at my fingertips. If someone didn't agree, they would generally post something very funny to get their opposing view across.

It felt, socially, like The Cambridge Footlights. Now, it feels like Vicky Pollard has infiltrated. There are still well thought out responses, but it's one of those, followed by several "yeah but no but" which dilutes the thread completely. I can't establish whether it's due to being hard of thinking, or deliberately misinterpreting just to have something to post outrage about.

There's a reason my threads now, are no longer any deeper than gravy recommendations. If I want proper important advice, I type the question into Google, then click on similar Mumsnet threads from 2009 ish.

There is a lot more thread derailment now, which in itself causes huge amounts of squabbling and nastiness. A poster comes on and asks a question like 'AIBU to ask my neighbour to give back my lawnmower?' with details of said problem. A few relevant/sensible answers follow, then something like 'What type of lawnmower is it?', 'I've never heard of that. Are you American?', 'Get some of that artificial grass. Problem solved.' You shouldn't be using a lawnmower, it's bad for the environment/butterflies/bees', etc etc. By the end, most people have forgotten what the original question was and the OP has disappeared, having had their entire character called into question over a household appliance.

I had my first ever deletion in 16 years the other day because I got far too wound up by a thread derailment and then very unhelpfully became PART of the derailment by engaging with it - which is basically taking the bait. Time for me to stay away from the bun fights I reckon. Some of the boards are great like 'What Are We Reading', 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Style and Beauty' (although I've seen things turn a bit nasty on there from time to time😬) but AIBU is brutal. And sometimes Chat can get pretty nasty too.

Absolutely @Tessisme - like the recent thread about a lady whose husband bought her the same earrings a few times over.

She wasn't offended, was genuinely happy in her marriage and it started as a light hearted thread.

Before long she was told he didn't love her, never loved her, probably didn't buy the earrings himself and got his non-existent secretary to buy them for all his girls. Was accused of lying because the shop she claimed sold them didn't really sell them (spoiler: they did). The earrings were shit and looked like they cost £3 (spoiler: they cost £350 ish). Further along, she didn't know what real love was and some posters felt sorry for her for having such low standards in her marriage and should leave him.

It was mad how dark it got!

I saw that one @GroutScrubberExtraordinaire!

People are more deliberately nasty now, there are obviously a lot of members who just joined to troll mums. AIBU was harsh and very blunt a decade ago but it wasn’t cruel.

@TwinsPlusAnotherOne totally agree. And there now seems some far more extreme posters from the 'I've got £2.40 to last me 20 days' to the 'I can't find a house I like with a £4 million budget' - This in itself I think creates both envy and nastiness - I'm not sure it was ever that diverse before and whilst diverse in life is good it does create issues on forums

This was awful. A few other recent ones spring to mind too.

What I have noticed though, yes there are a lot of trolls and fake posts, and it seems that many posters try to get in quick to test the facts. To try to be the one that caught out the troll.....to be the best armchair detective of the day... But in the process of doing this, the nitpicking has become ridiculous. I think it stops some people for posting and asking for advice, as they know the chances of them getting steam rolled for something completely unrelated, is very possible.

Smartphones have brought the Internet to a far wider range of people, so it's not surprising that posters here come from more varied backgrounds than they used to. I have the impression that there are more posts from people who struggle with literacy than there used to be. Some posts make little sense. Also, many more people than before take things very literally, don't get obvious jokes, don't spot obvious sarcasm, etc etc. You never used to see (light-hearted) in a thread title because it wasn't needed.

I posted about a minor problem with my child's school and was accused of lying/trolling because of a million tiny irrelevant points ('no school does that' type of thing). It's pointless posting here just to get attacked. There are better and more supportive groups to be part of.

Oh yes, I saw the earrings thread. It was mad.

To be honest, I think it's a bit pathetic to give a person the same present 4 times running. It's not a "leave him"
situation, but certainly shows lack of thought and emotional intelligence..

Agree with this.

I also don’t know any kind of families IRL that are like MN families. There are SO MANY posters who start a thread ‘I have 5 children all with ASD/ADHD!’

I knew a few with one child who has ASD or ADHD but HOW do they even get 5 diagnoses?! What is their family life like?! See also so many children who are non-verbal or home schooled. I like to think my circle is diverse but really it’s nothing like the MN make up