To return to MN after a decade & think it’s changed a lot

[ExNorfolk]

Do you think MN has changed in the last decade?

Observations: to me it seems that people are more stressed, more aggressive & quicker to judge, and less tolerant and supportive. Possibly more right wing. Users maybe older? 45-55 instead of 35-45 (which would make sense if it’s the same users a decade on)
These are generalisations. I’ve lurked and read about 100 threads in different forums. AIBU was always a bit of a brawl. But the general rise in snark seems to me to be more widespread.
(yes, I know I don’t have to post here, and could go somewhere else). I am just interested to know your experience

You’re right about the abortion threads but there are just as many extremists shouting that you can’t possibly be pro choice if you don’t agree with it at 30+ weeks.

I like Twitter OP!

I wouldn't say Mumsnet is right wing. Infact I would say it's the opposite and there's tons of threads bashing Boris, Sunak, Farage, Truss. A new one springs up most weeks and there's long running left wing threads titled Thread no 35, no 36 (insert Tory-bash header), so don't worry about it being too right wing for you. Why don't you dip into those? I'll be honest that they're not my cup of tea, but sounds like they would suit you.

I enjoy the telly addicts threads on Mumsnet. The only other one that's ok for TV is Digital Spy Forums. Unfortunately they removed their general chat section as folk fell out.

That is a good point.

I posted not long ago that in theory I agree with any term for any reason, but in practice I see absolutely no reason as to why the current restrictions need to change. 24 weeks unless a doctor and pregnant woman together deem it necessary after that - I stated there was no valid call or reason for changes to what we already have, there’s no ‘market’ for any fewer restrictions if you will.

Guess what - I got told I was not truly pro choice from one side and that I condone baby killing from the other 🙄😂 so I gave up.

Fucking hell.

The only consistent thing on MN is the weekly thread about how much it's fucking changed.

Every week.

I don't think posters are older. I think they're younger. There's a lot of immaturity.
The MRAs are constant now too. Ten years ago there would be occasional flurries but because of the gender issues, this place is crawling with incels who are deliberately aggressive and give shit advice. Their entire purpose is to try to disrupt.
ime there are lots more US posters too who don't realise the UK has a different history, culture, legal and education system so they derail threads through their lack of understanding of context.
Modding is also rubbish compared to a decade ago. Either they've been infiltrated, overwhelmed or just don't care any more.

If you're touting for other websites your thread will get pulled. Are you sure you were here a decade ago? <uses creepy wee brackets and narrows eyes>
Also, MN isn't right wing. It's political bias is still firmly left - pro workers rights, pro striking, pro women, pro class and sex analysis. It's one of the few places that is still left wing (unlike the Labour Party under Starmer!)

In the last 12 months or so I've grown increasingly suspicious that more posts are started as a wide up.

I've been here about 5 years and do see a lot of posters who just have no clue about how to have a debate; just an argument. i.e. the difference between promoting their own opinion vs just attacking someone else for theirs.

I also see more and more posters trying to dismiss any other pov before it's even offered: statements like "no doubt someone will be along shortly to tell you x but really it's y" or "everyone will tell you z but that's not right".

I agree that a lot of the laughter has gone from MN. There are also some posters who you could imagine can argue with themselves in a dark room- very unpleasant people who just come on here to make misery.

I’ve also noticed more wind-up type threads. And also, I think a lot of people lie about the outcomes. There was a thread last week where a DH did something, and I can’t for the life of me remember what exactly. It wasn’t violent or cheating. But OP was making excuses for his behaviour. And lots of ‘LTB’ post. Well apparently half way through the OP took her DD and moved out and had left him. Big hero story about them starting a new life. I just thought ‘bullshit’. I always think women don’t leave when they say they have. It just so rarely happens and so few people are unable to leave at the drop of a hat

I remember now.

He didn’t like something her mum said.

I mean he sound alike a prick but really the LTBs were an over reaction. All of a sudden she’s left him not buying it. I think she just wanted people to stop posting things she couldn’t cope with hearing.

A lot of what you've said is right op. Looking at the voting, a lot more people agree with you than is apparent from some of the snippy replies you've had (which kind of prove your point.)
I'm very selective about which posts I open. I don't have notifications if someone quotes me. (You can switch off @ and Quote notifications) So I engage with what I want only. It works for me.
I'm on a large international FB group also, with getting on for 2 million members, which I love. I've rarely felt the need to block anyone on it, but it's a great feature to have when it's needed.

Like the real world, people are quick to feel slighted or insulted.

There was a thread this morning on renting parking spaces that didn't belong to you and people were frothing at the mouth. Falling over one another to say how despicable it was and how the OP would end up in prison for life.

Everything is if if if.

What if this person has anxiety or in in a wheelchair or his parents never threw him a birthday party.

I do LOL at the ‘you’ll end up in prison’ loons or bootlicking I-want-the-police-to-love-‘me types.

One OP found a tiny packet of cocaine in her Uni DD’s room when she returned for the summer a few weeks ago.

So many “call the police on her” and “they WILL take it seriously she will go to PRISON” was hysterical. Some people live in their own personal delusional world where they never ever had to deal with anything even remotely adverse yet think they know how policing works. And they trot along to scare the shit out of concerned women.

I don't really post anymore.

It's like that on all the boards, not just AIBU.

On the TTC board a poster asked if she could be pregnant (normal circs) and the first reply started with 'Are you thick?'

Just completely unnecessary. I've seen the most ridiculous justifications for it (my favourite is a feminist opposition to the obligation to 'be kind.' I didn't know mocking and berating women in some of their most vulnerable moments counted as feminism.)

It's just a reflection of the real world. Things have changed so much in the past 10 years it's not unique to Mumsnet. I think people have got so used to posting online in various platforms they no longer see the person behind the post

Was just about to say the same thing

The world now is a lot more unpleasant generally than it was 10 years ago.

I’ve just returned after leaving during lockdown 1 when I found it was getting awful. I absolutely agree, much less supportive, a lot more nastiness. I may still
dip in and out but it’s not the place it was sadly.

I agree. No room for nuance or discussion anymore. Everything is extreme, polarised.

It is less cliquey. I left about 20 years ago because it was awful with mean girls all centred round a Queen Bee -much more diverse and nicer now.

10 years, not 20!

I joined about 11 years ago and was astonished by how bloody nasty lots of posters were, so no, I don't think its changed really.

It did. Really odd

I was reading a few classics the other day. Some of them were why I first started using mumsnet. These days those posts wouldn't get very far because there would be the usual "I've reported you" "This isn't true" It did use to be fun. Its now full of anxious, angry people.

I've always found it very snipey. I think there are a lot of journalist, political bots and incel types that derail threads or set threads up for a pile on. I think when you take those people away you are left with mostly decent enough people, with the odd snob, fantasist, know-it-all and anxious type thrown in. Bit like being in the office really.

There are some older cliquey MN types still guffawing at penis beakers and snapping and farting like it is the most hilarious thing in the world. I suppose you had to be there....

I'm mainly on MN for the information you get from people who have been through something similar to you. They have done some of the research for you, so it saves time. I try to return the favour if I can advise on something. I also like ranting about shit politicians and commenting on the EE forum about their shit storylines, even though I still watch it.

The fun and humour and originality has gone. There's just no point trying to start a light hearted thread anymore because a load of posters will come on taking it all very seriously and killing the whole thing stone dead. There seems to be an awful lot of whingey whiney posts nowadays, long winded OPs, pettiness and people taking umbrage at anything and everything. I don't post much anymore, it's just not worth the bother.