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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the use of "partner" is implying she is gay?

86 replies

eddis · 23/07/2023 17:16

DD is 24 and has never been in a relationship due to various struggles she has had in her life. It's only recently she has really ever been mentioning it in her future. It's always "partner" though and no I don't care if she was to be gay, etc. but just curious if always using that vs boyfriend/husband is more telling?

OP posts:
NotBotheredAnymore · 23/07/2023 17:18

Ffs, partner doesn't imply gay, it means not married!

Scatterbrainbox · 23/07/2023 17:19

Just sounds like she's not thinking about marriage.
Generally I think unmarried couples use boyfriend/girlfriend in the earlier stages of s relationship and 'partner' means a permanent relationship ad often living together.

I'm not married but live with my other half... I would always refer to him as my partner.

Tippexy · 23/07/2023 17:20

Yes in my experience you are right.

ErrolTheDragon · 23/07/2023 17:21

Not really, it's a generic term nowadays. More serious and grownup than a 'boyfriend', not jumping the gun to 'husband'. Most 24yos aren't really thinking about marriage afaik, my 24 yo dd seems surprised when anyone her age gets married unless they're very religious.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/07/2023 17:22

No partner doesn't mean you're gay. It's just another way of saying someone you are in a reasonably committed relationship with but to whom you are not married. I (heterosexual woman) frequently refer to my boyfriend as my partner.

blacknredsweeties · 23/07/2023 17:22

Yes she would say wife or husband.

SquirrelRed · 23/07/2023 17:23

I'm female and always refer to my male other half as my partner

Xrays · 23/07/2023 17:24

Partner can be male or female. Doesn’t mean anything other than long term relationship!

Scatterbrainbox · 23/07/2023 17:25

Also, if she is gay she could have a wife...

MissingMoominMamma · 23/07/2023 17:26

I think it used to be the case, but not anymore.

TheModHatter · 23/07/2023 17:27

To me, it would sound as if she was talking about the function a wife / husband / boyfriend / girlfriend plays in your life: a partner to get through with, to live life with.

Wouldn’t make assumptions either way.

hotcheeto · 23/07/2023 17:32

She might be bisexual?

I say partner referring to my boyfriend of 10 years, but I don't like to call him my boyfriend because I think it sounds juvenile or like we haven't been together long, and we have a young baby together. And we aren't engaged.

To be honest if I was referring to a hypothetical future companion I would say boyfriend or husband, which makes me think she might be gay/bi?

Lovingitallnow · 23/07/2023 17:36

My DF graduated my bf and I to partners at a certain point in our relationship. We used to tease him. He obviously felt boyfriend wasn't significant enough. My bff also wants a partner, she's trying to emphasize she wants someone to share her life with, and plan with and become part of a team with, rather than someone to date and go on holidays with.

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/07/2023 17:39

Partner here too, we've lived together 18 years, we are too long term and too old to be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' which sounds very juvenile to me.

continentallentil · 23/07/2023 17:40

No - at one point possibly but not anymore.

It’s just a catch all term for life partner that covers you if you are married or not.

AuntMarch · 23/07/2023 17:40

I agree with pp that boyfriend sounds quite immature, or suggests something fairly casual rather than lives fully entwined. As someone who has no intention of getting married, I'd likely refer to a "partner" if I were in a serious relationship.

However at 24 I think I did say boyfriend, and thought of partner being what older people would say.

So basically, no idea.

continentallentil · 23/07/2023 17:41

I always call my male partner my partner BTW - I’m too old for a BF and we’ve been together for 14 years and Co-own a house.

storminabuttercup · 23/07/2023 17:42

I'm female, until we got married after being together 17 years I called my husband 'partner' or other half we have a 13 year old so boyfriend sounded weird

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/07/2023 17:42

I talk about sexuality with DD and she's 12. Have you never spoken to DD about it?

Sirzy · 23/07/2023 17:43

I am female, my partner is male. I use partner as we are both too old for “boyfriend/girlfriend” but we aren’t married.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 23/07/2023 17:43

DH was my partner before we got engaged. I'm female.

Imanalias · 23/07/2023 17:44

Met a couple yesterday (male and female) and they referred to each other as their partner.

Sprogonthetyne · 23/07/2023 17:44

It wouldn't imply gay to me, just that she doesn't plan on marriage but would like something more serious then boyfriend/girlfriend

10HailMarys · 23/07/2023 17:46

’Partner’ is a totally neutral term, no gender implications at all. I would make any assumption either way about it.

About 90% of the women on Mumsnet talking about a man they’re with (but aren’t married to) refer to them as ‘DP’.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 23/07/2023 17:47

Scatterbrainbox · 23/07/2023 17:19

Just sounds like she's not thinking about marriage.
Generally I think unmarried couples use boyfriend/girlfriend in the earlier stages of s relationship and 'partner' means a permanent relationship ad often living together.

I'm not married but live with my other half... I would always refer to him as my partner.

Same