To think the use of "partner" is implying she is gay?

[eddis]

DD is 24 and has never been in a relationship due to various struggles she has had in her life. It's only recently she has really ever been mentioning it in her future. It's always "partner" though and no I don't care if she was to be gay, etc. but just curious if always using that vs boyfriend/husband is more telling?

I'm sorry to say that a decade ago was 2013. The low rise, bootcut jeans you had two decades ago are now vintage and I don't like thinking about what now counts as Classic Rock.

Partner just means your other half in a relationship.

Yep as above partner means attached but not married. It in no way defines gender

I have a partner because 17 years in, boyfriend doesn't cut it. Said partner, however, says gf and tells me I sound like I'm telling people I'm gay when I talk about him.

I think it's a personal thing but most of the world knows it's not a single sex relationship.

I call the man I share my life with, my partner and he calls me partner too. We are not in the first flush of youth so boyfriend / girlfriend would seem odd / inappropriate.

You can't assume sexual orientation from how a person refers to a future life partner

20/25 years ago, “partner” would definitely have carried the implication of “same sex partner”. Now fewer people are married, so I wouldn’t make the same assumption these days.

Next time your DD brings up the topic, why not ask her something along the lines of "So when you say 'partner', what sort of person do you envisage?" She might be looking for a way to tell you she's looking for a female partner, or she may very well just be thinking of meeting someone for a serious relationship, so feels 'partner' is a more suitable word than 'boyfriend'. Either way, it seems she's happy to talk about her future with you, so why not delve a little deeper? If she responds "What do you mean?" you could start her off with "Well, are you looking for someone serious, or fun? Tall or short? Do you want a partner that's into the same things as you, or would you be happy to have different interests?"

Not saying your DD is gay, but when my DD told me she is gay, she said "You know you sometimes talk about in the future when I have a boyfriend? Well, actually... it wouldn't be a boyfriend... it would be a girlfriend!"

I say partner and I'm straight. Though one of the reasons I use it is because it would be nobodies business if my partner was the opposite sex to me or not and I think normalising the language helps people who may not be out have a neutral term for their spouse.

Slight side-step, but I hate it when people use partner to include spouse - on forms and when referring to other people.

Absolutely fine if you yourself like to call your husband or wife your partner, but I just find it so dismissive and deliberately exclusive when you only have the option of 'partner' rather than 'spouse/partner'.

I say partner and I'm not gay. I just think boyfriend makes me sound really young.

No. It doesn't.

I'm getting married this year, to a man (I'm a woman), and use Partner as Fiance sounds wanky in my accent and boyfriend seems a bit juvenile or in relationship infancy.

I sometimes say partner instead of wife, I'm married to a woman. I don't think it's a gay thing though, more a personal choice of less outing language with some people for me.

I agree - a lot of people in my work use ‘other half’.

it’s interesting isn’t it - how languages have evolved.

I just wish they would properly get rid of Mrs and Miss. Martial status should have to be announced to the world I. 2023

Who cares what term she uses
Is one of her life struggles extremely petty parents ?

Just celebrate she is happy !

I used partner as soon as we were serious (after a couple of weeks ) we are far too old to be boy&girl! My older friend called him my gentleman friend which just sounds creepy.

Partner is modern that's all

I call my oh my partner, we've been together 13 years and in our late 30s, it would just be weird to call him my boyfriend.

If she's talking about theoretical future relationships and you think she's taking care always to use sex neutral terms then possibly.
Most heterosexual women will at least now and again say man, boyfriend or whatever when discussing dating.
But as you say, it doesn't matter. I'm sure you'll find out in due course when she introduces the person.

I’m gay, at that age I would say yes, it can be used to not say ‘girlfriend’ when not ready to. ‘Partner’ seems odd for a new ish relationship when young otherwise.

I often refer to my husband as my partner, it suits our relationship more, might be a bit woke but husband links too closely to 'husbandry' for me (farm girl) and I intensely dislike the thought of being carefully bred and managed... just my slightly-Sunday-sloshed two cents.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend sounds like young teens who have just got together.

Me (F) and my partner (M) have been together years, have children together, not married, the term boyfriend just doesn't sound right to me. It's only a word but partner sounds more like a solid relationship, whereas, in my opinion, boyfriend/girl friend really does not.

I remember an otherwise lovely colleague being a bit funny about me referring to their spouse as partner because they thought it made it sound as though they were a same-sex couple. I was baffled as I was just using the term respectfully because it was a long-term, serious relationship ( they had a child together but they were unmarried). I guess it has implications for some people but it would never have crossed my mind, I referred to my own fiancé as my partner at the time because boyfriend seemed childish and diminutive.

YABU

I don't necessarily think it does mean gay but why don't you ask her. Or maybe start a conversation about his hypothetical partner. If she refers to the partner as they/them it could be a clue that she's not a cis woman ie a 'binary' woman/female who is sexualy attracted to males only.
The only way to find out is to ask.

Yes I think this.

I say partner now after 13 years with my boyfriend/now fiancé but at the start he was boyfriend. (Fiancé just seems showing off or encouraging people to ask about weddings)

Always using gender neutral words is odd. I mostly would use partner if asking someone I don't know well if they have a partner, to not assume sex of that person.

Wow, I use partner for my married to me hetrosexual husband.
He's my partner, when all the sexuality , legalities and politics is left aside.

Hopefully you've made it really clear to her that whether any future partner/spouse/whatever is male or female is really not a big deal at all to you. That way, if she is gay and worried about coming out, you'll have made it much easier for her.

Incidentally I'm a woman who's married to a woman and still often call her 'partner'.