Last person up the stairs to bed locks doors??

[Snowdrop89]

Am I being unreasonable?? In my mind the last adult up the stairs to bed is responsible for checking doors are locked and windows are shut? My husband is last upstairs every night & I always have to ask him if the doors are locked & he always has to go back down & check when I’ve reminded him… tonight he got arsey with me saying why couldn’t I go and check… I said cos I’ve already been in bed for an hour & you’re the last one up the stairs! No point me locking before I come up cos he will often pop out again… I always do it on the rare occasion I’m to bed after him…

This doesn't need to be an arguement surely?

Either of you could lock doors and windows once you know everyone is in for the night?

Does my head in! It’s got to the stage I just know he won’t do it or won’t go back and check they’re all locked so it’s easier for me just to do it myself, regardless of what time I go to bed 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes, whoever is last up checks the fridge is shut and that all the doors are locked. It goes with turning off the lights!

@WestOfWestminster absolutely - and I do! But he will often put something out in the bin or go get something from the car after I’ve gone to bed & he doesn’t remember to lock doors! Every night I have to ask him & I’d say 50% of the time he’s come up without doing it… it’s a safety issue & he doesn’t get that if I’m asleep I can’t remind him & I need to remember to do it & it’s just part of being an adult!

Of course he should do it if he's last up.

I lock up even if I go up first because DH can be absentminded. If he unlocks a door to go out he does remember to lock it again

Does he expect you to parent him in other ways too?

@Babybabybabyy exactly my problem but I like to go to bed early & he goes late & so many times I’ve fallen asleep before he comes up - I go down in the middle of the night for a drink or even in the morning to find he left a door unlocked… or even open a few times!!!!

We lock ours about 8pm 😂
There’s no bugger coming in after that

@HeidiUpTheMountain yes, I see that it goes with turning off the lights…

This is easily sorted by just locking it yourself.

Once we know everyone's in for the night we lock the doors. It's not the responsibility of the last person going up.

Scare the bejesus out of him. Get up in the early morning and unlock and open the door. Shift some of his possessions and treasured things - get back in bed and wake him up - tell him you can hear a noise downstairs...........let him find the door open .........

Yes it’s for him to do. Would always give fridge, doors& windows a check and make sure tumble dryer is off

@poetryandwine exactly the same here - but what happens if you want to go to sleep before he comes up? I’m not getting enough sleep (waking in night the breastfeed) cos I’m basically waiting for him to come up so I know the doors will definitely be locked & that he won’t go out then forget to lock again… honestly that happens 50% of nights I’d say…

@User6424678852 yep! So over it…

We always lock our doors as we had a walk in burglary years ago but last person up checks the doors just in case

@FlowersInTheSky I do before I go up, but he’ll often unlock one again to put something in a bin or go to the car or the shed or whatever - in that time I might have fallen asleep - & he won’t remember to lock it again when he comes in…

@StoneofDestiny hahahahahahahaha love it

@fizzyfood exactly, I like to have them locked all the time but he just doesn’t ever lock a door - I’m lucky if he shuts it!

DH always does the locking up (even if I am out and I have to let myself in)
He is always security conscious. I have seen him from the bedroom window check my car and the DC's cars and vans are locked when he comes home.
He had is final check routine around the house!

He also doesn’t lock the car… every night regardless of whether I drove it I have to look out the window to check he locked it… feels a bit annoying always to be the one responsible for the security of the house & the car

Easily sorted.

Lock up yourself, take the keys out of the doors and take them upstairs. When your husband starts complaining that he can’t get out to check bins/car explain that he either starts locking up like an adult, or you will lock him in as you’re going to bed.

Totally petty but I’m a peri menopausal woman full of rage and general fed upness.

This used to drive me bonkers with ExH, even if I locked up before I went to bed he would use the bathroom and open the window wide which let out onto a single storey flat roof someone could waltz right in, on a couple of occasions he'd been out to the car after I went to bed, or into the garden and I'd come down to the front door swinging in the breeze. No amount of explaining worked. So I used to wake up when he came to bed, get up and go round and check, it was crackers.

OH does it, even if he goes first.
I only do it if he's out, ill in bed, or a friend/one of kids is in/out after he's gone up.