Last person up the stairs to bed locks doors??

[Snowdrop89]

Am I being unreasonable?? In my mind the last adult up the stairs to bed is responsible for checking doors are locked and windows are shut? My husband is last upstairs every night & I always have to ask him if the doors are locked & he always has to go back down & check when I’ve reminded him… tonight he got arsey with me saying why couldn’t I go and check… I said cos I’ve already been in bed for an hour & you’re the last one up the stairs! No point me locking before I come up cos he will often pop out again… I always do it on the rare occasion I’m to bed after him…

Fuck that op

The 2nd time he expected me to wake up, get up, and lock up because he's a baby who can't be trusted, I'd dump a heap of his valuables in a black bag and hide it.

I'm not joking, it's utterly unacceptable for you to have broken sleep because he's too lazy

It's not about memory, it's "your comfort means very little to me" and disrespect.

Whether he puts a post it on his pillow or sets a phone alarm or something else, if be insists on not allowing you to actually control the house security (going back out, meaning you either have to stay up late or get up again)... It's his problem to fix.

I can't believe you'd actually put up with this without going utterly batshit the 2nd time it happened.

My door is locked 24/7 unless I'm waiting for ds to call.

I am now awake & cross hence not sleeping cos not only did he wake me up crashing into the bedroom just now to come to bed, he refuses to go check the doors so I had to get up and do it…

Op. Why haven't you waited until he's asleep then woken him up?

If he's doing this to you 50% of evenings, why on earth are you letting him sleep?!

Is your bar that low?

If he isn't happy at you waking him up, tell him you'll do this every night you can't get back to sleep because he's acting like a child.

We have an interesting system. My extremely safety concious wife locks the three different locks/ bolt on the door and goes up around 2 hours before me. Then I unlock the door for taking the bins out/ going to the car/ getting reception for phone calls and relock it before bed. Possibly because we're both women 🤣 but of course he should check when he goes up

A husband here. I always check all the doors, I never check the car though and the other day after using a car air con freshener thing where you have to ventilate the car afterwards, I actually left all the windows down for the whole night!! 😆

Just do it before you go to bed

Thanks @Tiredjoanna. One of those days/months/years.

So sorry. Different situation obv but I barely get any sleep as my 9mo D's seems to think sleep is evil or something. Can't even nap in afternoon as his longest nap is 20 mins. Drained and wanting to pull my hair out too regularly. 🤣🤣🤣

Last post was for witchbitch20 incase anyone got confused, sleep deprivation as post described 😂

What sort of utopia do you guys live in where you can leave doors unlocked on a regular basis and even open?

YANBU OP, we are in the nice part of a slightly questionable area but my DH is safety mad, to the point where he has gone into the house and locked the door behind him before.. while I'm walking up behind him on the drive.. prat!

But whoever is up to bed last (usually me), lets the dogs out, and goes round the bottom of the house checking everything is locked up and switched off.

It definitely sounds like a 'not my problem' type of situation from DH, I'd be livid if I came downstairs to that! Does he leave the telly and all the lights on as well?

Have you tried locking the bedroom door behind you?

I don’t think there’s anything you can do until someone actually poses a threat to you to make the risks seem realistic to him

It’s weird that so many comments are saying ‘easily sorted, do it yourself’.. yeah you could but you could also fo the dishwasher, cleaning up, washing etc yourself. Why should it only be one person’s responsibility not to get broken into while the other slinks off to bed whenever they fancy without even checking? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t understand all this checking

A shut exterior door is always locked in our house (we additionally bolt once everyone is home)
The fridge is shut when not in use.
The oven is off when not in use
The cars are always locked

Why all this checking?
It’s lights out and up to bed here

We both take full responsibility for ensuring the doors are locked before we go up. If one of us opens it, we lock it again. It's really simple.

We have 3 back doors in different rooms to gain access to the back garden, a dog and 2 young children. During the summer, the doors are always open so they can go in and out as they please.

I would hate living with someone who cared so little for the safety and security of the rest of he household. I think locking up and confiscating the keys when you go to bed might be the solution to getting a worry free nights sleep but I'd be annoyed about having to take such a step.

I would also remind him that an unlocked door invalidates your insurance.

You could tell him about the serial killer Richard Chase who told police that he took locked doors as a sign that he was not welcome, but unlocked doors were an invitation to come inside. It's an extreme example and most people think it will never happen to them, until it does. No one wants to be woken by a stranger in their house, it would be bloody terrifying even if you weren't harmed.

Our door is locked as soon as we come home for the day (we only have one door anyway). Why don't you do that, then you don't need to worry about remembering before bed?

We keep our doors locked anyway. But, if we go to bed at different times, we both check doors as we go upstairs.

This would give me the ick massively
He's a baby, and I'd never to able to have sex with him again.
I could cope with absent mindedness probably, but the attitude of 'why should he and why can't you do it' when he's still on his feet and you're all snuggled up in bed just screams petulant teenager.
Especially when you need your rest as you're doing the nighttime baby stuff. Urgh and double urgh.

He needs to understand that if he's the last one up the stairs he checks everything is locked up and switched off as you could fall asleep before he comes to bed . A burglar will always check the door handles and windows before they break in . I read once that a burglar said it's surprising the amount of people who don't lock their doors or Windows. They can't be changed for breaking and entering just for theft .

Op has already said, if she does this, he often goes outside again and then leaves it unlocked or even open... So anticipating this still isn't helping because he basically isn't thinking about it and doesn't see why he should.

I like the fake burglary idea followed by the hide the keys idea if he still doesn't shape up.
Stupid problems calls for stupid solutions.

DH never locks either doors. He smokes / nips out after I'm in bed too. He works away so not home that often.

Rather than last one up, we each did a bit. It's easier to remember when someone goes up unusually as first.
I did back door, he did front door.

Practically, it doesn't matter who goes last imho. Property should be secured anyway already when first go to sleep tbh. I wouldn't like sole permanent responsibility for the security.

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