Last person up the stairs to bed locks doors??

[Snowdrop89]

Am I being unreasonable?? In my mind the last adult up the stairs to bed is responsible for checking doors are locked and windows are shut? My husband is last upstairs every night & I always have to ask him if the doors are locked & he always has to go back down & check when I’ve reminded him… tonight he got arsey with me saying why couldn’t I go and check… I said cos I’ve already been in bed for an hour & you’re the last one up the stairs! No point me locking before I come up cos he will often pop out again… I always do it on the rare occasion I’m to bed after him…

@GoldDuster so you have just exactly described my life! I actually was asleep at 9pm tonight after a long day at work. I am now awake & cross hence not sleeping cos not only did he wake me up crashing into the bedroom just now to come to bed, he refuses to go check the doors so I had to get up and do it… surprise surprise one was unlocked!!! Glad I’m not the only one being driven crackers by this….

Omg. My husband checks, but I never trust him so I go down and check again lol. Occasionally I find something wrong! Some of these stories are crackers, what's up with these humans?

Yes, total no brainer! Don't forget to check the gas hobs are off too (unless it's electric obvs).

Yes absolutely 100%

he is being unreasonable

I feel your pain. I do feel like it is so utterly selfish and a lack of thought and care. The ‘I forgot’ or ‘I didn’t think’ drives me crazy. If you care enough you should think and want to keep us safe.

The more security conscious person does it, in my case it’s my other half! I’d never remember and even when I have done it - he’s rechecked it. He just can’t settle till he knows everything is locked.

We don’t have any of these rules. I should think right now the kitchen doors aren’t locked but maybe the side one is. I’ll get up and check in a minute now that I’ve thought about it but there’s no deal here about locking doors.

Defo do this. And sorry you're feeling like this witchbitch20

We do it together 99% of the time - we go to bed at the same time, always have. On the odd occasion he’s out and comes home when I’m in bed, he locks the door behind him. I will already have checked everything else.
We go through the downstairs starting at the back door and check that all windows are closed, fridge closed, cooker off, plugs off, lights off, snake tank locked, etc…finishing at the front door, touch the hag stone that hangs by the door, then upstairs to bed. Sickening, I’m sure, but we’ve done this (or variants in different homes) for over a decade now! 😅 Saves any stress or disagreements.

Yanbu but I always lock doors before I go up to bed as I usually let the dog our for her last wees then. She's my shadow and comes up to bed with me, so dh would probably assume it had already been done if he was coming up after me

Here it's the person who says 'is the back door locked?' who has to go and check.

Yep last adult does a lap and checks doors and windows

Same here.

I make sure we are locked up in our house. Often we are locked up at 6/7pm if we are all in for the night. It would drive me up the wall if DH did what yours does. We always lock all the doors behind us as we enter the house.
Have done this forever after being warned by a neighbour on move in day 25yrs ago. We live in a 'naice' area to be fair but there had been a spate of 'walk in' burglaries at that time so it's habit for us all now. Even DS has been trained since he was old enough to have a key.
Except about 10 yrs ago we got back on New Years Eve thoroughly wasted and when I went downstairs the next morning the front door was only not locked but slightly open! With my handbag/DH wallet and car keys sat on the hall table. 😱(Disclaimer- we had walked to the venue and staggered back the car keys were just there!)

Another thread highlighting how low the bar is for men!

Last person locks up and puts the lights off.

Either one of us does it but whoever is on their way to bed first says to the other either "we're locked in" or "we're not locked in" then the other person does it. Whoever has watered the plants often just does it on the way back in much earlier on.

YANBU, the last person up should check the doors. My ex NEVER used to lock the door, would stay up until 1am most nights and was out smoking so even if I locked it when I went to bed he would leave it unlocked. It took a random drink person coming into out house in the early hours of the morning for him to see that the door had to be locked at night. It’s such a selfish way to behave, showing very little concern for other occupants of the house which included very young children at the time.

I am so glad my DP is safety conscious and this is one of his ‘jobs’. He always makes sure to lock the doors before bed, though they are usually locked for the night once the dog has been walked! I’m terrible and forget to lock the door any time he’s away but thankfully we live in a very safe/quiet area.

That would drive me insane - I bet he doesn’t forget vital stuff at work!

I’d lock up when I went to bed and ban him from going outside after i went up - if he wants to act like an immature child he can be treated like one.

A friend of mine got so sick of getting up in the morning and finding the place left unsecured she put her DH’s laptop and various gadgets into his car and moved his car down the street. She got back into bed and let him get up and find everything missing. Funnily enough he didn’t forget again!

It’s down to me to check but my OH doesn’t go out of the house once I’m in bed so I haven’t got the same problem.

He does front I do back

Don’t get me started on this…. I’d rather boil my head! 20 years and he still can’t remember to do it…. aaaggghhhhh

I can’t entertain an adult this hopeless. Lock up and take the key up with you as pp said. He will start to learn.

@Snowdrop89

Oh Lordy this all sounds exhausting- on top of everything you need to do.

I'm sure the the MN Landscape Gardeners would be happy to come around and help you build a "patio" to help you resolve this problem. I'll bet you'd so much better afterwards. 🌹