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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Honest or cruel?

102 replies

MoMuM7 · 18/07/2023 10:06

My mother prides herself on being honest and forthcoming. She says what I consider, very offensive things, and concludes with an 'I'm just being honest'. We were raised in a household where you were encouraged to voice your feelings not matter who you hurt. I always found that brutal and was considered the 'sensitive' one. We have a civil, not close, relationship so I just got on with it. My mum said something that deeply hurt and I called her out and yet again, I was labeled as too sensitive.

Apparently i was a very difficult baby. Born with a birth defect, needed multiple surgeries before I was one etc. This plunged mum into PND. It was the worst year of her life as she's often told me. She neglected my older siblings, lost herself etc..Hard stuff I understand. But yesterday she told me that she would have aborted me had she known what my first year of life would be...

Am I being sensitive or is it incredibly hurtful to tell your child that you would aborted them if you could go back in time?

OP posts:
Damnedidont · 18/07/2023 15:18

Print all this thread off and send it to her. I am sure she will appreciate the honesty

Escapingafter50years · 18/07/2023 15:24

Your mother is a horror. Is there any need to have her in your life?

Perhaps have a look at the Stately Homes thread here. There are a lot of us who had horrific mothers, sadly you're not alone. But opening your eyes to how unacceptable her behaviour is, and that you did not deserve it, will benefit you in the long term.

Fighterofthenightman1 · 18/07/2023 15:38

Extremely cruel and imo unforgivable

Worriedaboutrapecourts · 18/07/2023 15:46

We were raised in a household where you were encouraged to voice your feelings not matter who you hurt.

but

I was labeled as too sensitive.

They need to have it all ways, don't they. It's impossible to get it right for them.

Was there never any concern for her baby under a year old going through all these operations? Or did it all have to be about her?

Does she tell you these 'honest' things when you've done something that she deems disrespectful @MoMuM7 ? Does it feel like she's punishing you for something, current or in the past? Like she wants to hurt you?

What's she like on your birthdays or any other ' you' days?

ImNotReallySpartacus · 18/07/2023 15:51

If your mother needed to say that, she should have said it to a friend, her own mother, a therapist-anyone other than you.

MoMuM7 · 18/07/2023 16:00

Thanks all. I've lived with DM's voice in my head for so long sometimes I don't know what I think. She's always made me feel like I needed to be grateful for everything she's every done for me. She gave up alot to be a mother. Her choice, ofcourse. She's a great mother in many ways. But very blunt. As is the rest if my family tbh. Her comment stood out though. I would never speak to my child like that.

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 18/07/2023 16:15

You don't owe her anything. She chose to be a mother, you never chose to be her child.

Shes not entitled to your love, most people love their mothers because they are lovely people who have spent their lives building their children up.

Yours hasn't, so have the relationship you want with her. Call her on her bullshit, or keep her at arm's length, or just stop seeing her if you want to. You don't owe her your love.

Amuseaboosh · 18/07/2023 16:38

Time to go low or no contact OP.

Your mother uses 'honesty' as a veil to abuse and hurt you.

I'm glad you're here.
You matter.
She does not.

Worriedaboutrapecourts · 18/07/2023 16:45

She's a great mother in many ways.

but

She's always made me feel like I needed to be grateful for everything she's every done for me.

As PP said, you don't owe her anything. There's blunt and there's deliberately hurtful. There's a reason you wouldn't speak to your child like that. People who do say things like that do it for a reason, it's not just thoughtlessness, it's intentional.

Flowers
contrary13 · 19/07/2023 12:15

I also have a "I'm just being honest" sort of a mother, @MoMuM7 , whose behaviour over the last 60 years (when my oldest brother was born) has resulted in two out of her three children being NC with her. I'm the youngest, and mine are the only two grandchildren (there are 5 in total, with 3 great-grandchildren from my middle brother's children) that she is ever going to meet. When I was 11 or 12, she told me that when she discovered that she was pregnant with me, some 10 years after DB2 was born, she went to the Drs, in NI, mind, during the mid-'70s, to ask for something "to bring [her] period on". Essentially, she went in search of a medical way of terminating me - which didn't work. When she and my father returned to England, she couldn't actually determine my due date because... she thought she'd effectively got rid of me. It was only when I was born, apparently, and they realised that I was full-term, if not a little over-cooked, that she realised the "period" that she thought she was having... wasn't me coming out.

Being told that, realising a few years later that I am only here because of a botched abortion... it's done a number on me. She's always refused to discuss it with me, because - like you - I'm "too sensitive", "too emotional" about the subject. Personally, knowing that I wasn't wanted... I don't think that I'm emotional enough about it! My childhood was plagued by her abuse, by the fact that both of my brothers had lived their whole lives with our maternal grandmother (there's 14 and 10 years between us - and not only was she 14 when DB1 was born, we all have different fathers), by the fact that I was essentially hung out to dry by both of my parents, and my extended family, because they all saw/heard what she did and said to me growing up. But she was depressed, apparently, so that made it alright. Except... it didn't. It hasn't. It never will. Last month, she told my NPD daughter that she "only had [me]" because my Dad wanted to have a child with the wife that he adored (enables)... which my daughter likes to fling in my face every time I try to hold my boundaries against her firm. "Yeah, well, Nan never wanted you!", sort of a thing.

Therapy really does help unpack it all. I feel sorry for my mother, rather than any other emotion. She's stuck in much the same way that I suspect your mother is - emotionally resentful of the fact that they had to give up so much, just to raise us. But that isn't our fault. At all. As other posters have said - their own doing, not ours. Contraception has existed, been widely available for a very long time now. We might be the result of a lack of it being used/used properly... but that still doesn't mean that we chose to be born. My oldest brother was essentially the one who raised me (he got a motorcycle license as soon as he could, and would ride over 300 miles on a Friday night just to look after me on a weekend from the time he was 16, because my Dad was often away from home, and I was only in the Army nursery during the week), along with a lot of "interference" from my more local paternal grandparents. I spent every school holiday with either set of grandparents, often not seeing/speaking to my mother for anywhere up to 7 weeks at a time. So my childhood was actually relatively "normal", in that I had structure... but she still fucked me up.

Being VLC and having extensive therapy really does help, OP, but I just wanted to say that, horrifically, there are a lot of us out there. DM me if you want to. Flowers

SerenChocolateMuncher · 19/07/2023 14:27

I'm so sorry your mother is hurting you. My mother is a covert narcissist and yours sounds very similar.

They do just enough "nice" things to make you think it must be your your fault when they are cruel and abusive. They make you think you are a bad and ungrateful daughter for not appreciating "everything they have done for you".

What I took a long time to understand and you should try to understand now, is that normal, loving mothers do not seek gratitude for doing their job as a mother. They do it for love. She chose to be a mother. You didn't choose to be brought into this world. Everything she did for you, she owed you, both legally and morally.

You owe her nothing.

Narcissistic mothers want something back, they see everything they do for their children as creating a debt which they want repaid in "gratitude". No matter how hard you try you will never be "grateful" enough, because it is not possible. In her sick mind, that is how she justifies hurting you. By making you think it's your fault for being a bad, ungrateful daughter. For - in her toxic mind - causing her the inconvenience of having to raise you.

Be kind to yourself. You deserved and deserve better. ❤️

Verv · 19/07/2023 14:32

I have found that people who pride themselves on "saying how it is" and "just being honest" are in fact just massive arseholes.

Mama1209 · 19/07/2023 14:46

She needs mental health help asap and you should distance yourself from her so she can’t do you any more damage! That’s absolutely unforgivable!

Maddy70 · 19/07/2023 14:52

She was cruely honest.

She doesn't sound very nice but perhaps she just expresses herself poorly and was genuinely trying to tell you about her struggles with pnd.

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel

Backstreets · 19/07/2023 14:53

Not normal at all. Disgusting thing to say.

Azeroin · 19/07/2023 14:56

Awful, I’m sorry this has happened to you.

Maybe you should let her know what a dreadful excuse for a parent she’s been, I’m sure she’ll appreciate your candour.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/07/2023 14:59

That was very cruel, OP, I’m so sorry.💐

Some people do pride themselves on ‘speaking their mind’ - as if it’s some sort of virtue, when it’s so often hurtful if not actually cruel. I have an elderly aunt like this - she’s ended up being shunned or avoided by various members of the family. She’s an avid churchgoer, too - more than one of us has pointed out that her behaviour is not very Christian, but it’s water off a duck’s back. She’s just being ‘honest’, isn’t she?

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2023 15:04

I'd have nothing further to do with her. And if she wanted to know why I'd definitely 'be honest'...

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 19/07/2023 15:06

I think it’s time to get your own back. “To be honest mother, you’re not the mum I would have chosen either, I would have preferred someone kinder/more tactful/nicer but at least you have shown me how I don’t want to be as a mum so thanks for that” then walk away before she has chance to respond. (This is assuming you want or have kids, adapt as necessary). I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t take it well, those who dish it out very often can’t!

ASGIRC · 19/07/2023 15:28

People often use "honesty" as an excuse to be cruel.
Thats what your mother does, OP.
She is cruel, under the guise of honesty.

MysteryBelle · 19/07/2023 15:52

She has gaslighted you so much that you are questioning your own good instincts. She is vile. Her excuse of being honest, no, she is a cruel bitch.

If she were honest, she’d apologize for being a piece of garbage and become a kind mother which you deserve to have. 💐

MysteryBelle · 19/07/2023 15:53

No contact. What a vile abhorrent witch she is.

MysteryBelle · 19/07/2023 15:54

Verv · 19/07/2023 14:32

I have found that people who pride themselves on "saying how it is" and "just being honest" are in fact just massive arseholes.

Truth. Now that’s being honest.

Youdoyoutoday · 19/07/2023 16:42

That's an awful thing to say to your child no matter their age!!

And the "I'm just being honest" is just a front for "I know I'm being a cunt but I'll use the word honest so you can't say I've done anything wrong!"

Distance yourself!

JudgeRudy · 19/07/2023 17:17

It is a rather sensitive subject but perhaps explains some of your mothers ways. I'm not trying to excuse her behaviour but understand it. I would imagine she has separated you personally from the baby/situation that caused her so much grief and heartache. Maybe this is a trauma response.
I'd be a bit taken aback if I heard this but I'd have followed up with but then I wouldn't be here Mum would l? Do you believe she loves you? Maybe it would be useful to talk about this together at some point.

BTW, I fell pregnant unexpectedly. I did not want a baby. In fact I did not want to ever be a parent. I talked it over with my fiance at the time and he convinced me to go ahead. We went on to have a 2nd child. I'm sure I would have been 'happy' child free but I now love both my children more than anything.