I also have a "I'm just being honest" sort of a mother, @MoMuM7 , whose behaviour over the last 60 years (when my oldest brother was born) has resulted in two out of her three children being NC with her. I'm the youngest, and mine are the only two grandchildren (there are 5 in total, with 3 great-grandchildren from my middle brother's children) that she is ever going to meet. When I was 11 or 12, she told me that when she discovered that she was pregnant with me, some 10 years after DB2 was born, she went to the Drs, in NI, mind, during the mid-'70s, to ask for something "to bring [her] period on". Essentially, she went in search of a medical way of terminating me - which didn't work. When she and my father returned to England, she couldn't actually determine my due date because... she thought she'd effectively got rid of me. It was only when I was born, apparently, and they realised that I was full-term, if not a little over-cooked, that she realised the "period" that she thought she was having... wasn't me coming out.
Being told that, realising a few years later that I am only here because of a botched abortion... it's done a number on me. She's always refused to discuss it with me, because - like you - I'm "too sensitive", "too emotional" about the subject. Personally, knowing that I wasn't wanted... I don't think that I'm emotional enough about it! My childhood was plagued by her abuse, by the fact that both of my brothers had lived their whole lives with our maternal grandmother (there's 14 and 10 years between us - and not only was she 14 when DB1 was born, we all have different fathers), by the fact that I was essentially hung out to dry by both of my parents, and my extended family, because they all saw/heard what she did and said to me growing up. But she was depressed, apparently, so that made it alright. Except... it didn't. It hasn't. It never will. Last month, she told my NPD daughter that she "only had [me]" because my Dad wanted to have a child with the wife that he adored (enables)... which my daughter likes to fling in my face every time I try to hold my boundaries against her firm. "Yeah, well, Nan never wanted you!", sort of a thing.
Therapy really does help unpack it all. I feel sorry for my mother, rather than any other emotion. She's stuck in much the same way that I suspect your mother is - emotionally resentful of the fact that they had to give up so much, just to raise us. But that isn't our fault. At all. As other posters have said - their own doing, not ours. Contraception has existed, been widely available for a very long time now. We might be the result of a lack of it being used/used properly... but that still doesn't mean that we chose to be born. My oldest brother was essentially the one who raised me (he got a motorcycle license as soon as he could, and would ride over 300 miles on a Friday night just to look after me on a weekend from the time he was 16, because my Dad was often away from home, and I was only in the Army nursery during the week), along with a lot of "interference" from my more local paternal grandparents. I spent every school holiday with either set of grandparents, often not seeing/speaking to my mother for anywhere up to 7 weeks at a time. So my childhood was actually relatively "normal", in that I had structure... but she still fucked me up.
Being VLC and having extensive therapy really does help, OP, but I just wanted to say that, horrifically, there are a lot of us out there. DM me if you want to. 