To make new mum life easier?

[Animallover87]

Due my first baby next month.

I know it'll be a huge life change and I'm keen to try and protect my mental health as far as possible by taking steps to make life a bit easier.

For example, I'm not going to try and breastfeed. I've bought a prep machine and was considering just using ready made formula for out and about to avoid faff.

Having a planned c section which most people seem to recover fairly quickly from and allows me to feel a bit more in control of what's going to happen.

Next 2 me on my DHs side of the bed so he can do the lifting baby etc during the night if I'm struggling with movement after c section at the beginning.

Any other tips, even if unpopular, to make life easier for myself as a first time mum?

The midwife that takes the antenatal sessions I went to told me they can't be recommended as there isn't enough research. Then she went on to say that everyone uses them including her midwife friends and just to make sure I keep it clean.

The nuby uv steriliser is my best baby purchase it makes making bottles so much easier https://uk.nuby.com/products/3-minute-uv-steriliser good luck, the first couple of months are a shit show but it does get better. Xx

Mulling on the best vs bottle, vaginal vs elcs debates overnight, I think the answer is that the easiest/best method of giving birth or feeding, is the one that you've chosen to do.

So someone who chose a C-section birth and got one is probably going to feel happier with the outcome than someone who HAD to have a section.

Someone who chose to FF is probably going to be happier with that outcome, than someone who HAD to move to formula as bf wasn't working. Because frankly, if sharing night feeds etc was that important to them, bf wouldn't have been their choice.

In making a decision, you weigh to the factors that are important to you, and find mitigations for the downsides.

I choose to ff, and loved it. Being able to share feeds was really important to me and we mitigated the downside to the extent we bottle fed without even getting out of bed.

My second child, I didn't choose to bf, but I was effectively forced to by her. For me it was harder, because for me, the upside of convenience didnt trump the downside of it being all on me.

So maybe we should respect others choices, and that what one person finds easy, another finds difficult. If there was one objectively easy way to have/raise kids, then we'd probably all be doing it already.

@Babyboomtastic Very well said.

@Babyboomtastic absolutely. I didn't ask for opinions on the choices I've already made (but I knew I would get them anyway in amongst a lot of helpful tips!)

I would try and stay flexible. You might have a C-Section booked, however, your baby might decide to show up sooner than your booked in date.
Then you’ll go into natural vaginal labour and probably feel shocked and unprepared.

As someone who hadn’t planned a section, and then after 15 hours in intense labour had a stuck and presenting incorrectly baby, I totally panicked when they had to resort to an EMCS. It was all fine and worked out in the end but I did then go on to have 2 years of PND. So I’m just saying be prepared mentally for ANY birth. Often, things so change and not happen as you expect and in my experience, knowing what you might do in any situation is much better for your mental health than a situation you hadn’t even considered.

re nipping to the shops- have people never heard of grocery delivery through Deliveroo?
I already posted about Amazon which also has groceries, but Deliveroo is there in literally 30 mins if you need something quickly

If someone has planned a C section, but the birth starts early, they put mum on the monitor and do a C section anyway when they can fit her in. It’s rare with FTM that birth happens quicker than they get to do a C section

@LimePi I find Deliveroo very expensive, while it's something that's handy in a pinch the prices in our area are hugely inflated and when you add delivery costs on top it gets very silly, the shops who use Deliveroo are limited in out area so tends to be ones that are already overpriced adding even more on top. I'd much rather have a good stock of bits I run out of, rather than relying on Deliveroo/Uber.

Yes I know. However, rare doesn’t mean impossible. There are plenty of first time mums who give birth quickly and I’m just pointing out that mentally preparing is better than not.

@Verbena17 the midwife reassured me that if I go into labour before my date, I've just to come in and they'll do the section ASAP. It happens regularly and won't be a problem.

But yeah obviously life is unpredictable and no-one can guarantee 100% I'll get my section, I understand that but no point dwelling on it!

Deliveroo don't deliver groceries in all areas. I can get which ever crappy take away I might like, but they don't do a grocery shop.

Have people never heard of other people living rurally, or in small towns, where there is no deliveroo?

No deliveroo here but I live a 5 minute walk from a decent sized supermarket!

I think the best advice I can give you (from here, many decades after my experiences of mum to newborns) is to pack a wee hospital bag and lie on the sofa till you get pains in your tummy. From then on, go with the flow 🤣. You're on a ride that you (and nobody else) has ever and will ever ride on.
But - you could maximise your freezer space and buy in some right nice freezer meals. Get a delivery of tinned and dry stuff as a few tins of soup in the cupboard and some par-baked baguettes can be a lifesaver at times. Don't forget a few sweet treats, some ice lollies and ice creams.
As follow on to my first para - don't be surprised by and don't resist the impulse to breast feed. Them babies are masters at getting their own way.
The birth will be what it is. Nice that your midwife says just get to the hospital and they'll wheel you straight in for your section but a whole team of people are needed, a theatre needs to be vacant, recovery space available. Just go with the flow.
And don't be surprised if that cot moves to your side of the bed pronto. You are going to experience rushes of emotion and feelings like you never imagined. Again go with the flow.
Whatever you do you'll be doing your best. Baby, you, husband, environment, everybody and everything else in that order.

@Animallover87 I think the fact you came here looking for tips and tricks and have done research for decisions you have already made shows you will ace this! Some things just fall into place, and no matter how much we plan before hand some things just have to wait until the baby gets here. Best of Luck with everything. You'll do great!

Hey Bear on YouTube as well as Lottie Bunny for strengthening the babies eyes was really good! I could pop little one in her bouncer and have her watching this whilst I’d run and pop the clothes on the line etc. Definitely get a bouncer for the early days because it was so helpful!

Nobody is saying to dwell on it - but imagine going into a quick labour at home when your DH is at work and you give birth in the bathroom.
As a former doula, I know that if you plan for all eventualities (even if only a brief plan of the basics), if they happen, your mental health is less likely to be detrimentally affected.

But perhaps you’ve already thought about how you would navigate a sudden birth so apologies if you have.

@Confusion101 thank you, that's very kind.

@Verbena17 I very much haven't thought about what to do if I suddenly start crowning the bathroom! I guess at that point it's go with the flow and make sure I'm never far from my phone 😂

@5555L I have a joie swing type thing 🙂

Everyone going on about the 'faff' of bottle feeding 🤔 Sorry, what? You have to wash a few bottles, and if cold water sterilising they can then just be chucked into the bucket of Milton and be ready to go. I have a Prep machine too, and a bottle is ready in a minute, it's great! I'm still breastfeeding a bit, but hate the leaking and breast pads and having to wear clothes I can feed in... Going to stop soon, and I'll be glad to 🥳

Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect, go at your own pace not on what other people say you should . Motherhood is a learning curve even when they’re grown & there’s no such thing as perfect parenting. X

Baby Bjorn bouncer has been amazing for us OP! Both babies like/d it, and it's great to be able to put them in while showering or whatever

Accept help. Use grandparents if available. Let visitors make the coffees. If they say can i do anything say
Yes, run the hoover round

Dont try to be super mum

And enjoy your baby
X