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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A woman has just come up and said…

176 replies

Needhelp1000 · 17/07/2023 13:23

I’m currently in Spain and I’m a bit sunburnt from my first day here.
its now the secone day and a woman has just come up to me (on a local tour guide trip) and said how awful I look with sunburn. I’m upset about the comment.

AIBU?? A friend said no but I did comment to woman she didn’t need to be so rude.

OP posts:
VictoriaVenkman · 17/07/2023 14:21

She was probably pissed. Doesn't make it hurt less though.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 17/07/2023 14:21

PollyAmour · 17/07/2023 13:29

She's concerned because you have allowed yourself to get burnt. Slap on the aloe vera and stay in the shade, and stop taking offence where none is meant.

Is she fuck concerned.

YANBU to have feelings OP - and your feelings are to be upset. Try not to let it spoil your holiday though.

Another one of those threads where people fall all over themselves to excuse a random person's weird comment for some reason. Who cares why she said it, it was uncalled for and upset @Needhelp1000.

Green777 · 17/07/2023 14:22

Dindundundundeeer · 17/07/2023 14:20

If it's totally covered, how can she see it?

Big hat, loose cotton shirt. No one would know you'd injured yourself.

What does this comment mean? Is it another one accusing the OP of lying or telling the story in a way that didn’t really happen?

Theres some weird people on this thread.

Green777 · 17/07/2023 14:23

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 17/07/2023 14:21

Is she fuck concerned.

YANBU to have feelings OP - and your feelings are to be upset. Try not to let it spoil your holiday though.

Another one of those threads where people fall all over themselves to excuse a random person's weird comment for some reason. Who cares why she said it, it was uncalled for and upset @Needhelp1000.

Show quote history

Honestly it’s so bizarre, the pile on to the OP!

MumblesParty · 17/07/2023 14:25

dorriss · 17/07/2023 14:11

Brits can be utterly moronic about the sun.She was showing concern.Stay out of the sun.This is climate emergency but hey we must all have our holidays and our cars and our capitalism and materialism and greed ...well this is the result.Your kids will live in a very very different world..

Concern? No, it was rude and unnecessary. The fact that it is medically inadvisable to get sunburnt is beside the point.

Would it be the same if OP was obese and a stranger came up and said “you look awful with all that flab”? Would that be classed as concern ?!

Dindundundundeeer · 17/07/2023 14:25

Green777 · 17/07/2023 14:22

What does this comment mean? Is it another one accusing the OP of lying or telling the story in a way that didn’t really happen?

Theres some weird people on this thread.

Show quote history

OP has been told she should cover up. She stated she has. I'm saying that it can't be totally covered or it wouldn't be visible. What's weird about that?

Her burn is an injury and needs to be covered.

Was the woman rude? Yes. Does that make OP any less injured. No.

Partypiddler · 17/07/2023 14:26

GoodChat · 17/07/2023 14:04

@Partypiddler she walked off because OP told her she was rude

Which she deserved. Think about the unhealthy health risk factors which people engage in all the time. I'd never dream of going up to someone smoking a cigarette and tell them how awful they look smoking, out of 'concern'. I would, rightfully, expect to get an earful. Smoking is gross, sunburn DOES look awful but I would never dream of commenting on it.

Catspyjamas17 · 17/07/2023 14:26

She's about as concerned as people who post on here claiming to be concerned about obesity.

stayathomer · 17/07/2023 14:27

I do wonder if I’m the only one who would never comment if someone was sunburnt, it’s not my place too.
But if we always said everything was not our place to say surely no conversation with ever be made, it’s about sunburn - not that big a deal! I am another one that thinks it with your lost in translation and she meant oh God that looks awful (feeling bad for you!)

THisbackwithavengeance · 17/07/2023 14:27

Can't believe posters mitigating for some rude cunt to approach the OP - a complete stranger - and make a completely unasked for comment about her appearance.

The way I see it OP is that this women will get her comeuppance one day as she'll approach the wrong person with a smartarse comment and get a punch in the face in return.

Blogswife · 17/07/2023 14:28

Isn’t there a heatwave in Spain . ? I understood that people were stopping indoors as it’s to hot to go out ?
Maybe she was trying to warn you that it’s not worth the risk

Dindundundundeeer · 17/07/2023 14:28

Needhelp1000 · 17/07/2023 13:47

It’s covered up, it’s just the shoulders 😂

^ see.

It's clearly not covered. Factor 50 is not covered. A shirt is.

Once you've seen someone with half their face cut off, you find these things more concerning that average.

HRTQueen · 17/07/2023 14:28

I would be more concerned about the sun burn

it’s was her way of telling you to be careful as the heat is exceptionally hot

stay in the shade with factor 50 your skin going red is your skin burning regardless of what colour you turns later

Hibiscrubbed · 17/07/2023 14:29

dorriss · 17/07/2023 14:11

Brits can be utterly moronic about the sun.She was showing concern.Stay out of the sun.This is climate emergency but hey we must all have our holidays and our cars and our capitalism and materialism and greed ...well this is the result.Your kids will live in a very very different world..

Concern? Fuck off. 😂

Hibiscrubbed · 17/07/2023 14:30

The woman was rude as shit! Why do some posters defend unbelievable rudeness to ensure they get to have a pop at an OP? 😂 mental.

Siameasy · 17/07/2023 14:30

It’s rude - she sounds mental
And lol at all the posters moralising about sunburn.
OP don’t bite. Sunbathing is morally wrong on MNet. Tans are even worse

WisherWood · 17/07/2023 14:31

OP I'm a redhead and very fair skinned. For some reason, this is the equivalent of holding up a sign saying 'please give me your unwanted, unneeded and preferably rude advice and opinions on my sun care'.

I mean, the only people who avoid the sun more than I do are actual vampires but apparently it's OK to say to a grown adult 'oh, I bet your skin goes the same colour as your hair haha.' People are rude and stupid. Life is better when you ignore them.

Trez1510 · 17/07/2023 14:31

stayathomer · 17/07/2023 14:27

I do wonder if I’m the only one who would never comment if someone was sunburnt, it’s not my place too.
But if we always said everything was not our place to say surely no conversation with ever be made, it’s about sunburn - not that big a deal! I am another one that thinks it with your lost in translation and she meant oh God that looks awful (feeling bad for you!)

Likewise. I go with translation issue. Woman offering sympathy (and would probably have followed up with some useful advice) and was met with accusations of rudeness so walked off.

That's my reading of the situation.

OP must know she's been stupid by harming herself, didn't like anyone pointing out she's been stupid and became 'defensive' possibly aggressively so.

Paxosnaxos · 17/07/2023 14:32

I remember being in a pharmacy on an Italian campsite beside an Irish women whose child had quite bad sun burn. In front of the packed pharmacy the pharmacist told her that she was irresponsible and that fair skinned people need to be far more careful than Italian. He said he was sick of seeing children in pain .

OP I think it’s because they genuinely can’t understand why we allow ourselves to get in that state

jackstini · 17/07/2023 14:32

She was rude, YANBU to be a bit hurt

DemonicCaveMaggot · 17/07/2023 14:32

'You've got heat stroke and it's making you rude' would seem to be an appropriate 'gentle, caring' response to the impertinant baggage.

Mercurial123 · 17/07/2023 14:32

Siameasy · 17/07/2023 14:30

It’s rude - she sounds mental
And lol at all the posters moralising about sunburn.
OP don’t bite. Sunbathing is morally wrong on MNet. Tans are even worse

Dramatic much? Skin cancer is a big concern. I know three people who had it, and it could have been prevented.

Helpel · 17/07/2023 14:32

No one looks good with sunburn but what kind of prick actually goes up to a complete stranger to tell them that?? Everyone saying forget it or get thicker skin or it's your own fault - ask yourself how many times have you told a complete stranger they look awful? As if the majority of pale skinned people haven't burnt by mistake on the first few days of their holiday! Oh no, we're all perfect - factor 50, hat, in an air con room 11-3. As if! OP of course you're not unreasonable- she was either very rude or slightly insane.

Maddy70 · 17/07/2023 14:33

Sounds like a pissed brit. Yes she was rude just ignore her

Irequireausername · 17/07/2023 14:33

It's a lot easier to get sunburnt than people realise. When I see people who are sunburnt I feel bad for them and I would never have a go at them. Even suncream doesn't really help if you're coming on holiday, you're just not ready for it.

The only thing I wish was acceptable was that I could tell people when they're starting to burn because I don't think they notice.