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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A woman has just come up and said…

176 replies

Needhelp1000 · 17/07/2023 13:23

I’m currently in Spain and I’m a bit sunburnt from my first day here.
its now the secone day and a woman has just come up to me (on a local tour guide trip) and said how awful I look with sunburn. I’m upset about the comment.

AIBU?? A friend said no but I did comment to woman she didn’t need to be so rude.

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 17/07/2023 13:47

PollyAmour · 17/07/2023 13:29

She's concerned because you have allowed yourself to get burnt. Slap on the aloe vera and stay in the shade, and stop taking offence where none is meant.

‘You look awful with that sunburn’ is offensive.

BillyNoM8s · 17/07/2023 13:47

I'd crack on and enjoy your holiday.

Notimeforaname · 17/07/2023 13:47

She was concerned and probably a bit shocked to see it.

Original poster
Needhelp1000 · 17/07/2023 13:47

It’s covered up, it’s just the shoulders 😂

OP posts:
DMLady · 17/07/2023 13:48

I sometimes see people with really painful looking sunburn, sitting in full sun, uncovered, etc, and want to go up to them and say please don’t do that to yourself… but I don’t because I figure it’s none of my business. She sounds unpleasant, tbh.

PlacidPenelope · 17/07/2023 13:48

It's not sun cream you need to cover it with it is loose clothing and you need to cover it all.

RunningFromInsanity · 17/07/2023 13:49

OP gets insulted by a complete stranger and yet somehow she’s the one being U. Classic MN.

momager1 · 17/07/2023 13:50

Sorry she was so rude. I know you are not asking for advice, but if I could put my nose in .. I live in the Dominican Republic and it is very easy to burn here. If you have any antihistimine with you (benedryl or such) take 2 before bed tonight . You will get a good sleep but it takes the swelling from under the burn which allows the burn to heal alot faster. (ask me how I know lol)

RunningFromInsanity · 17/07/2023 13:50

Notimeforaname · 17/07/2023 13:47

She was concerned and probably a bit shocked to see it.

So?
If she was concerned why didn’t she give advice? You don’t walk up, insult someone then walk away.

Original poster
Needhelp1000 · 17/07/2023 13:50

I got badly burned on my first day. My fault completely. She came up to me, said I looked awful with a face then fucked off. I was wearing factor 50 on the first day and now completely convered today

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 13:51

If you're really sure from the delivery that she didn't mean it in a concerned "that looks nasty, you poor thing" way, then obviously she is a rude, antisocial loon and you would be unreasonable to allow it to spoil any more of your holiday. Sunburn isn't good, but it's hardly unusual in a Mediterranean holiday area in summer. And at least it will heal. She's always be a twat.

itsmyp4rty · 17/07/2023 13:51

I'm always amazed that so many people don't seem to know what constitutes rude.
Don't let a rude person spoil your holiday OP.

Screamingabdabz · 17/07/2023 13:51

Random rudeness is a shock but try not to let it get to you. Chalk it up to (a weird) one-off experience and enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Nowitstarts · 17/07/2023 13:52

I quite often think it, but I wouldn't say it. I guess that makes me less rude and less honest?

ColdHandsHotHead · 17/07/2023 13:54

The only reply is 'Never mind, it'll be better in a couple of days, but you'll still be vulgar, ill-mannered and unkind.'

Maddy70 · 17/07/2023 13:55

She meant your sunburn looks bad and you need to treat it. It's not a person comment

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 17/07/2023 13:57

Was she Spanish?

I made a massive mistake in Spain and sheltered for a day on the beach under a parasol that wasn't UV proof. I had horrendous sunburn.

I wore cover ups after, but was so painful (I'm lucky it didn't blister it was so bad!) that any time I was indoors or in the shade I took the cover ups off to try to relive some of the pain.

The number of Spanish people who came up to me, some with no English at all, to tell me I have very bad sunburn, it was very very bad, Spanish sun is not like English sun and I must cover up was unreal. There was real effort put in to make sure I understood, a proper concern for my health. I'm talking multiple people in day, waiters, women passing on the street, people in shops, all sorts of different people.

Partypiddler · 17/07/2023 13:58

Negatively commenting on how anyone looks is always rude. This obviously wasn't done in a caring way. Yanbu OP but try to let it go. It will die down in a few days.

Fwiw, I live in a hot country and am very sun co scious. I was on holiday recently and was covered in factor 50 which I kept reapplying, was wearing a kaftan thing that covered me and somehow managed to get my feet totally burnt! It's not always done in total carelessness.

CapEBarra · 17/07/2023 13:59

‘HAHAHA, yes. Thank you, Cindy Crawford.’

stbrandonsboat · 17/07/2023 13:59

Sunburn is radiation damage. You wouldn't go around sucking on a random bit of uranium. You're risking your health and safety by getting sunburnt. She was probably shocked because there's a very bad heatwave there at the moment.

MadamWhiteleigh · 17/07/2023 14:01

I don’t think you should ever comment on someone’s personal appearance unless it is a 100% indisputably positive comment. So she was rude.

saltyseashell · 17/07/2023 14:01

Maybe she's sick of gently telling people to cover up and is now going for their vanity in order to get them to do so. I know that people can get really passionate about skin cancer particularly as it's such an easily preventable one.

80s · 17/07/2023 14:01

I remember decades ago in university a girl coming in bright red, saying how great she felt from her day out and not at all aware of how badly burned she was. I later heard she'd been ill all night and had to go to the doctor and spend hours under the shower cooling down. Took her ages to recover. Since then I've always been tempted to point it out when people have awful-looking sunburn, just in case they don't realise.

Kevinscousin · 17/07/2023 14:01

You still burn in the shade OP. She was concerned for you. People can get very unwell with sunburn

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 14:03

80s · 17/07/2023 14:01

I remember decades ago in university a girl coming in bright red, saying how great she felt from her day out and not at all aware of how badly burned she was. I later heard she'd been ill all night and had to go to the doctor and spend hours under the shower cooling down. Took her ages to recover. Since then I've always been tempted to point it out when people have awful-looking sunburn, just in case they don't realise.

How can anyone not realise they've burned?? It's not only highly visible, it must be extremely painful.

(I've never had sunburn, but I've had burns!)