Being reluctant to go to PIL house or go out anywhere with them

[Unintentionallycausingoffence]

We see PIL at our house as it’s safe and secure for DS but at the moment I am reluctant to go out anywhere or go their home as they are lax on safety particularly FIL, AIBU not wanting to go over there at the moment?

OP I've seen from a previous thread of yours that your child has special needs and an EHCP.

Is your husband and his family unsure of how best to care for your little boy because of this? I can understand your anxiety in that case.

You're being very paranoid. The fact that you think your DH can't look after his own child and that your child will fall out of a window or wander out of an unlocked door at your PILs' house even if you are there with him suggests that you really aren't thinking straight at all. And anyway, why would your DH and FIL chatting mean your child would come to harm even if you go out as a whole family for the day?

This sounds like anxiety/PND/OCD to me, in all honesty.

She’s saying she’s mainly worried about what could happen when she’s not there.

If DH is used to concentrating on talking to the PILs when she is there then you can (surely?) see why she might be concerned about her DC not having his full attention when she’s not.

how useless is your DH? That's your real problem.

I think they don’t always lock doors and open big windows
I have regularly looked after my GC and have done since they were babies without locking doors and having windows open. They have always been perfectly safe.
Surely there is more to this? You sound very anxious. Have you had a bad experience?

I'm throwing in the towel.

but there is no way she can know her DH will ignore the child when OP isn't there watching out for the DC.
If OP isn't there it would be much more normal to assume that DH will be looking out for his own flesh and blood child.

I get that OP has concerns, but she also seems to have huge anxiety and that really ought to be investigated (by her GP etc) because otherwise she is setting herself up for a life of stress and worry.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I've noticed this quite a lot lately...

It' not even a dripfeed sort of situation, it's like they're being purposely obtuse, just to get people to ask them questions.. which they don't bother answering? It's like the people who answer a questions with a question, I don't even bother commenting to OP on these ones, it's just too tedious.

Drip feeding so YABU

Does anyone still use reins!? I always thought they looked like the parent didn't know the difference between a pet and a child, taking them out on a lead.

To be fair, we don’t know how many children the in-laws started out with. If DH is the only one they have left out of seven having mislaid the other six then I can understand OPs anxiety!

Funny, I always thought better a child on a lead than an impulsive child lying under the wheels of a car.

II used reins, particularly useful when on a ferry going across to a Greek island with a very active 2 year-old! Also seemed to be a conversation opener with all the Greek mothers who were quite fascinated by the reins and the fact that he had very blue eyes.

Lots of people made it to adulthood with abusive or negligent parents. That isn’t proof in and of itself that someone is safe to be around a child.

What a silly thing to think. Imagine admitting to that!

I always tend to think it’s just a parent who knows their child and how best to keep them safe.

Does DH take his DS out alone normally?
If he does then he should supervise DS whether FiL is there or not surely

@Mummysalwaysright

Does anyone still use reins!? I always thought they looked like the parent didn't know the difference between a pet and a child, taking them out on a lead

You are not very bright then.

Well I've just joined this thread at 16:26 and what a effing pointless thread it is

Yes noticed this too recently! So vague, and almost expects a bunch of strangers on the Internet to be able to mind read!?

Does anyone still use reins!? I always thought they looked like the parent didn't know the difference between a pet and a child, taking them out on a lead

That's a very outdated point of view. Many parents these days are more pragmatic and have realised that reins are in fact a useful safety aid.

Does anyone still use reins!? I always thought they looked like the parent didn't know the difference between a pet and a child, taking them out on a lead.

Oh dear.

Is OP a bot?

@MotherofGorgons

A paranoid android?

@Mummysalwaysright there is a poster on MN who regularly advocates the use of reins after losing her child in a road accident 😔

I appreciate that, however Given that there’s a relationship here, you have to assume this isn’t the case in this instance