Being reluctant to go to PIL house or go out anywhere with them

[Unintentionallycausingoffence]

We see PIL at our house as it’s safe and secure for DS but at the moment I am reluctant to go out anywhere or go their home as they are lax on safety particularly FIL, AIBU not wanting to go over there at the moment?

Sounds like you don't trust dh to look after your ds either!

It's hard for us to know whether you're justified or being over-anxious... Has anything ever happened to your ds? Does h have form for being a shit parent?

I think I get where you are coming from here. When we meet up with friends or our families it generally falls to me to keep an eye on our kids. This is especially the case when we meet up with our in-laws, when the childcare falls entirely to me.

I think what the OP is worried about is her DH (and PIL) being so used to having her there to keep their DC safe that they would default to the same position without her there.

Sounds like your DH or the fact you don't trust him is the problem.
Maybe try to work on that first. I guess if you fully trusted your DH they could even go for a walk near a cliff.

Now the other part is if your concerns are reasonable or not. But that is hard to tell without more details

They literally brought up a child OP, your DH 😂I think they know what they are doing

Why can't you keep a close eye on your child when you visit them? Isn't that what most parents do?

Are you saying that you don’t trust your DH to supervise his own child? To keep DC save?

Seems like you don’t trust him. This may be completely justified (or even necessary). Or it may not be. But either way, there’s something truly wrong here (IMO).

Well, I assume you are still able to be with him at your in-law’s house, they don’t live in the Chateau de Knives, and they don’t try to make him drink a bottle of gin every time he visits. Why would having doors or windows open be a problem?

Unless FIL has some type of physical or mental issue then you’re being a bit precious. It appears that Your in laws managed to steer your DH to adulthood without any major mishaps. Unclench a little.

so it's your DH you don't trust.
You need to talk to him.

that's a you issue though. Tell your DH to buck up. Who keeps an eye on the DCs when you're with your family?

when you have young DC this is something you have to nip in the bud. Be pro-active about it. And if you do / say nothing to change it? Don't moan about it.

Context is that OP posts every week or so about their in laws. OP seems to have severe anxiety.

Has your DH lost your child in the past?
What are you basing your anxiety on, OP?
You're coming across as extremely anxious for no particular reason. Do you like your PILS generally? Why on earth do you believe that your child won't be safe with their own father and the man who brought him up to adulthood?

Surely most people have windows open at this time year and ones a child can get through. IME doors to gardens and between rooms are open and children are coming and going under supervision.

Clearly at home parents use guard gates to stop movement but no one expects these in other people’s homes.

"Chateau de Knives"

The child is nearly 7.

I’m not moaning, @Brefugee, just trying to empathise with the OP. Everyone else here seems baffled as to what she’s worried about, I’m just saying I get it.

Never forget the thread where a poster's DH had left a large window upstairs open, without her knowledge, usually kept shut for safety purposes, and next thing she knew her toddler had fallen out of the window!

We need more information. You’re being extraordinarily vague @Unintentionallycausingoffence

I didn’t leave my kids with my parents because my twins were like Houdini 1 & 2. Also mum spent her entire life on her iPad or the phone. Could easily picture my kids wandering off

Right!

Has your DH done anything to cause you not to trust him to look after his own child?

I can understand why you wouldn't send your child there alone if the house is unsafe, but if you are there then I don't understand why you can't take them, as you and/or dh will be able to keep an eye on them. Which was what we did

Why on earth would your DH lose your child?

Having brought up their own child isn't always an indication!

MIL was in such a rush to get out she didn't want to bother with reins (which she had used for her own son!)

Why ours wasn't worthy of the same consideration I have no idea!