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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

380 replies

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 19:24

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

OP posts:
deveronvalley · 16/07/2023 20:26

When my son was 7 I got told off by a lifeguard for allowing him to swim off to the deep end by himself as all under 8s must be accompanied. He had finished all the swimming lesson levels and was about to try out for the club and was a far better swimmer than me. I couldn’t keep up with him so was really embarrassed and we left (son moaning!). Another time aged about 5 he got ‘rescued’ - he was practicing treading water and the lifeguard thought he was struggling while I just ignored it! It’s really hard for lifeguards- I’m pleased they err on the side of caution even though it’s made me feel like a tw@t a few times! They can only go by what their eyes tell them.

Dacadactyl · 16/07/2023 20:26

I don't think you should be embarrassed, but I don't think you should be cross either.

You did your own risk assessment which differed from theirs. They're in charge of the pool and need to keep everyone safe.

Don't worry about it OP. Maybe ask the swimming teacher if she felt you were being a big gung ho given his ability, or whether you were OK to act as you did. Do it calmly and after you've both had time to reflect on today.

She may have felt put on the spot by you today and not given her honest opinion.

Emmamoo89 · 16/07/2023 20:26

Yabu

Moveoverdarlin · 16/07/2023 20:27

I can see why you’re miffed but I would drop it. It’s great that they’re watching and raising concerns, even if there aren’t any. My 4 year old has been having swimming lessons for 18 months and the lifeguards look bored senseless, I think a bomb could land in the pool and they wouldn’t notice.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 16/07/2023 20:27

TheaBrandt · 16/07/2023 20:17

God I do find this middle class competitive early swimming thing tiresome. It’s like “pushy parents ready steady go “ Freddie’s been swimming from 8 weeks don’t you know. Oh sod off! ( yes May be triggered as was made to feel like a bad mum as I hated the baby swim classes and binned them off much to the collective horror of the pushy mums)

God I know. I took my first to baby swimming lessons and hated every minute. My second started lessons age around 4 as I just couldn't face it!

Greenshake · 16/07/2023 20:27

I could have laid down money that the OP would come back on the defensive…and she didn’t disappoint.

waldpbal · 16/07/2023 20:28

Also how on Earth do you know the lifeguards age and status with regards to children, have you stalked them on Facebook!!

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 16/07/2023 20:28

If they had insisted that you leave then yes I would complain but it sounds like they spoke to you about their concerns, you reassured them and that was it?

Fluff11 · 16/07/2023 20:28

What does them having children or not have to do with their ability to do their job?

StaunchMomma · 16/07/2023 20:29

They simply raised it to be sure that you are aware of the risks of swallowing water. They didn't ask you to leave or reprimand you.

I really don't see what the problem is. They were just doing their job.

Buckle in for when he starts school, OP! Lots to get wound up over then, if you're the type to be arsed!

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 16/07/2023 20:30

ilovesooty · 16/07/2023 19:31

How do you know the lifeguards don't have children and why is it relevant?

This. You come across very snobbish and entitled and as if you think your child is wonderfully gifted for the ability to swim a couple of meters. My own child has disabilities and was able to swim around the same at that age, its not as uncommon as you think. I hate to tell you as I am sure you were going to tell us an Olympic scout was after your contact details next. I would have been appreciative of the staff being watchful and addressing safety, whether I felt it was necessary or not.

bruffin · 16/07/2023 20:31

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 20:16

Ha of course I must be. Silly me for teaching from a young age the importance of water safety.

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

Show quote history

My DC baby swim teacher was at the top of her field, she had awards from ROSPA and Royal Life Saving Association. She taught my dc from 6m and 1 yr and their Bronze Medallion and NLPQ
The pool safety they were taught at that age was to automatically turn to the side when they jumped into the water so it became automatic and blowing bubbles as they went underwater etc They didnt understand water safety but learned to do things automatically that would help save them.

Mikimoto · 16/07/2023 20:31

StaunchMomma · 16/07/2023 20:29

They simply raised it to be sure that you are aware of the risks of swallowing water. They didn't ask you to leave or reprimand you.

I really don't see what the problem is. They were just doing their job.

Buckle in for when he starts school, OP! Lots to get wound up over then, if you're the type to be arsed!

OP's shouty question to teacher Day 1 of Reception: "DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND ARE YOU UNDER 30?!"

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 16/07/2023 20:31

Did she not understand who you are?

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 16/07/2023 20:31

I suspect this post was mostly to make us all fall over in surprise at a 2 year old swimming so well...

Original poster
Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 20:33

Gatehouse77 · 16/07/2023 20:18

Why can’t people understand that judgement is subjective?

The lifeguard made a judgement call, presumably, based on training they’ve received. By your own admission you accept that a 2 year old doing what your son can do is unusual.

Why this would make you not want to return slightly baffles me - they’ve shown care and attention towards you, one amongst many, and you see that as a bad thing?

If you have the confidence in your son’s ability, and yours to be with him, where’s the problem?

Thank you for providing a valid response. I will take onboard what you've said. Finally some decent response without being bitchy.

OP posts:
KatsuYum · 16/07/2023 20:33

Can we all just be clear that a child holding their breath for 3-5 metres is not ‘swimming’.

It’s great a young child is confident in the water and comfortable putting their face in / doing a few strokes but taking a big breath, launching and then needing to hold on to someone whilst they catch their breath is most definitely not ‘swimming’. It would be far safer to get a noodle on them and teach proper technique.

wholivesondrurylane · 16/07/2023 20:33

Dinoswearunderpants · 16/07/2023 20:16

Ha of course I must be. Silly me for teaching from a young age the importance of water safety.

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

Show quote history

oh boy, if you are acting and responding so reasonably about someone taking their job seriously, primary school will be a looooooong and painful affair. for the teacher

FlyingPandas · 16/07/2023 20:34

OP you are not unreasonable to feel irritated, but 'beyond livid'? Seriously? For a lifeguard essentially flagging a concern?

The lifeguard was doing their job. You, and the swim instructor, confirmed that in this instance there was nothing to worry about. But the lifeguard should still have done what they did. You'd be the first to be making a complaint, I'm sure, if you ever felt a lifeguard wasn't doing their job effectively.

The age of the lifeguard and whether they are a parent or not is absolutely immaterial - they are a qualified lifeguard, end of. You do not need to be a parent to be a lifeguard, and their age makes no difference to anything.

Take a breath, calm down, ditch the 'beyond livid' stance and definitely don't complain. You'll just look like an idiot and one of 'those parents' if you do.

wholivesondrurylane · 16/07/2023 20:34

KatsuYum · 16/07/2023 20:33

Can we all just be clear that a child holding their breath for 3-5 metres is not ‘swimming’.

It’s great a young child is confident in the water and comfortable putting their face in / doing a few strokes but taking a big breath, launching and then needing to hold on to someone whilst they catch their breath is most definitely not ‘swimming’. It would be far safer to get a noodle on them and teach proper technique.

gosh, you are brave. You are absolutely right, but you are brave, the OP is going to bite your head off.

IncomingTraffic · 16/07/2023 20:35

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 16/07/2023 20:31

I suspect this post was mostly to make us all fall over in surprise at a 2 year old swimming so well...

I would agree with that hypothesis.

Sadly we didn’t all congratulate her on her aquatic prodigy and agree that the lifeguard should have recognise they were in the presence of greatness. 🤣

Honestly, this is just one of these ‘who cares?’ things. Nobody in adult life cares if you could swim unaided at 2. Or read before you started reception. Or any of the other things people competitive parent about. They just don’t. It doesn’t matter.

Toottooot · 16/07/2023 20:36

This post is simply to gloat that your 2 year old can swim isn’t it! Wooptie fucking ping 💁🏻‍♀️

Hobnobswantshernameback · 16/07/2023 20:36

God help us when the water prodigy starts a reading scheme in school

ikno · 16/07/2023 20:36

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

lmao

SweetSakura · 16/07/2023 20:37

Hobnobswantshernameback · 16/07/2023 20:36

God help us when the water prodigy starts a reading scheme in school

Especially if his teacher doesn't have kids yet Hmm