To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

Ha of course I must be. Silly me for teaching from a young age the importance of water safety.

And I assume your 8 year still uses armbands?

Why post in aibu if you just wanted an echo chamber and don't want to take the alternative points of view on board?

So answer the question - is the swim instructor teaching them to hold their breath?

God I do find this middle class competitive early swimming thing tiresome. It’s like “pushy parents ready steady go “ Freddie’s been swimming from 8 weeks don’t you know. Oh sod off! ( yes May be triggered as was made to feel like a bad mum as I hated the baby swim classes and binned them off much to the collective horror of the pushy mums)

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

Lol did you demand to know their parental status? Does having children trump lifeguard training when it comes to safety?

OP, have they had trials for Team GB yet ? I think your child prodigy is probably a shoe-in for the Olympics ? Very concerned they might be traumatised by a lifeguard doing their job … thoughts & prayers

Why can’t people understand that judgement is subjective?

The lifeguard made a judgement call, presumably, based on training they’ve received. By your own admission you accept that a 2 year old doing what your son can do is unusual.

Why this would make you not want to return slightly baffles me - they’ve shown care and attention towards you, one amongst many, and you see that as a bad thing?

If you have the confidence in your son’s ability, and yours to be with him, where’s the problem?

the swimming teacher surely isn’t encouraging the children to hold their breath. My 2 year old’s teacher gets them to blow bubbles (so they don’t swallow the water).

Later on in swimming it’s also part of proper breathing. You don’t hold your breath at all.

If the lifeguard actually talks to you about a safety issue in the pool, getting angry that they aren’t in awe of your toddler’s swim
skills isn’t the way to react.

You're toddler has been taught breath holding, dog paddling and submerging its a nightmare to correct body positioning and breathing when it comes to actually learn to swim properly. There's so many parents that over egg their children's swimming ability when in reality they are not that competent. The lifeguard has the right to challenge when a child is out of their depth or is unsafe in the water.

Well at least the 8 year old wearing arm bands wouldn't be told off by the lifeguard 😂

Better that they were overly cautious with your little one than too relaxed with ANY one.

I think it's brilliant that you've managed to get your DS so confident in the water. Well done! And it's great that you're there ready to step in if he is suddenly tired or runs into trouble. However, if you raise a complaint there's every chance that a young lifeguard without lots of experience will feel that the next time they see something worrying, they'll be afraid to speak up and a child could die.

Doing any sort of job is so difficult now. What should happen ->> OP - thank you for looking out for my kid - I'll make sure XYZ
What happens more and more now "You are wrong, how dare you challenge me, tell me not to do what I want, I'll raise a complaint (and get it investigated and waste everyone's time)"

(And actually you have shown that you don't know enough about drowning or water safety or how much a two year old really understands about water safety!)

My Neice was brought up in Africa with her own swimming pool and could swim perfectly age 2 .. even under water.. l used to take her swimming when they were in the UK for holiday and we had the same problem.. they put an " age " on it ..like age 8.. yet many 8 year olds couldn't swim unaided.
It's ridiculous and yes I'd raise a complain.

The lifeguard has the right to challenge when a child is out of their depth or is unsafe in the water.
Agree with this.

When you turn OP's situation on its head: how many children should be at risk of harm or death so that a lifeguard doesn't have to risk troubling a know it all parent?

Are you always this prickly and rude to people?

Firstly the swimming teacher sounds very unprofessional by stating she was 'disgusted' by the lifeguards doing their job.
Secondly I'd put a massive complaint in against the life guard/safeguarding person - go straight to the CEO and the maybe the press? It'll be great marketing for the organisation by showing what great staff they have and hopefully earn the lifeguard the 'employee of the month' award too

I'm a bit bothered by the thought that the lifeguards have been told off/ got in trouble from the swim instructor. The thread is pretty unanimous that yabu. Please consider apologising to the lifeguards, it would be a lovely gesture.

My child learned to swim at a normal age about 5. Cringe seeing parents dunking newborns in public swimming pools. Just run a Bath!

Brilliant!

I don't you realise the responsibility that comes with being a lifeguard and how bloody terrifying it must be for them to see a two year old under water, however briefly and however safe you think it might be. What if he were to swallow water and cough at that moment, you can't second guess a toddler's reactions. Leave that stuff until when he's older.

OP you're coming across as a right knob with a weirdly superior attitude about having a young child who can swim without armbands 😂

You want to complain about someone doing their job? Get a grip and stop being such a drama queen, livid and fuming indeed! Or is it just a stealth brag that your 2 year old can swim?

Your child is two. He doesn't understand water safety because he is two.

Oh dear OP you're not coming across very well here.

It's like you're mortally offended that little Lord Tarquin's swimming abilities were questioned 🙄

Try not to take it so personally, oh and ditch the ageism.

How on earth can a 2 year old understand water safety? Of course he can’t.

I say this as a parent of dds who were both swimming like baby dolphins shortly after 2 - mostly underwater, tadpole-wriggle style. But I was always there in the water with them.

The lifeguard was very likely not used to seeing such a tiny child swimming unaided, but she was trying to do her job of ensuring your child’s safety.