To be fuming with lifeguard/safe guarding officer at gym

[Dinoswearunderpants]

I'm beyond livid and just wondering if I should see things from a different point of view.

My DS is 2 and has been taking swimming lessons since 8 weeks old at our local gym.

I take him swimming 2-3 times a week as he loves the water. It's a great activity for him.

He swims without arm bands for a short distance 3-5 meters then holds onto me or the side of the pool.

He loves swimming, extremely confident and understands the safety in the water i.e never goes to the water without an adult, holds onto the side or adult when in the water.

I took him today and was approached by a lifeguard (who also said she's the safe guarding officer) I've never seen before who said she was 'deeply concerned' about him swimming and him drinking too much water.

I explained we take lessons here and he is holding his breath for the 3-5 meters he's swimming. He wasn't coughing or in any distress.

He would jump in from the side, swim to me, I'd hold him an explain he needs to wait a moment (so he can catch his breath) then he'd swim to the side and jump back in. All this done on his own accord and a big smile on his face.

I asked the lady to speak with his swim instructor, who was there at the time. She said she'd spoken to another lifeguard who had concerns.

Both lifeguards don't have kids and are in their early 20s.

I explained what happened to the swim instructor and her words were 'I'm disgusted they said something, I'm so sorry'.

I appreciate not many 2 years can swim however he can as I've always wanted to ensure he's safe in the water.

I think I'm going to raise a complaint as they say no evidence of distress. My son wasn't coughing or anything. He was having a great time as he usually does.

It makes me not want to take him there any more but I'm still tied into a contract with them.

This.

I can still remember a life guard yelling at me when I was stupid enough to decide to see what happened if I stacked a load of those orange arm bands (the round foam disk ones) on my ankles

again, even aged 6 I realised his job was to make sure people didn't drown not pussy foot around their egos

Fuming!!!! I thought you were going to say that the lifeguard chucked your towel in the pool or stole your kit bag. Too many people are raging or fuming over mild annoyance.

Wow, you really are a horrible person aren't you OP. Glad you feel smugly right though, bet the manager said something very different behind your back.

*I am surprised that this lifeguard's manager shared details of other people's feedback and criticism with you.

I would say that lifeguard is the only person with grounds to put in a formal complaint about anything here.*

Totally this.

They're fobbing you off because yours good customer.

But if it soothes the outrage....

Well done @Dinoswearunderpants
I manage people and I am often training staff in how to communicate appropriately when enforcing rules. It actually really helps when members of the public tell me something wasn’t communicated well as it gives a good opportunity to work through how they should have handled it.

In this case, approaching you and checking that your child was okay was not wrong, it was the manner they did it in and that they didn’t adapt as more information (your child’s swimming competence) was given to them.

You can care about safety and welfare without going around telling everybody off right, left and centre!

A telling off? @Offyoupoplove

Have you read the OP? Even the 'fuming' OP didn't say that.

With you 100%. The mountain out of a molehill is being made by the attendants (or their bosses.) Who has more concern for the welfare of this child - their parent who has been looking after them all their life, including taking them swimming, or some young kid who's never seen him before and knows nothing about him? (And their boss, likewise.) Yes, the attendant is doing his job (what we used to call a jobsworth) applying some rule as best he remembers (and maybe understands?) simply to cover his own back - which is fair enough for him, but not much good for you or DS.
People don't want you to complain about the poor lad doing his job, but it's not really about him. You must complain, so that the management knows that their rules (that the poor lad is applying) are not what you want. If other parents don't want to take their young children swimming, fine, they don't have to: so there is no need for a rule to stop them doing it, but there should not be a rule to stop you.
And all the parents who think they know better than you what's good for your child, should wonder whether the reason it would not be safe and fun for their child, is that, unlike you, they haven't taken him swimming from a young age.

Is that you OP? 😂

Well quite

@Merlin3189 I took mine swimming from infancy. I still think op is being deeply ridiculous

So management knows those rules aren’t what you want.

Yep, that’s exactly how safety rules work 😂

And all the parents who think they know better than you what's good for your child, should wonder whether the reason it would not be safe and fun for their child, is that, unlike you, they haven't taken him swimming from a young age.

Yep I did.

OP is still being prissy about this.

@Merlin3189

Who has more concern for the welfare of this child - their parent who has been looking after them all their life, including taking them swimming, or some young kid who's never seen him before and knows nothing about him?

So no parents ever put their children in danger?

@Merlin3189
My dc as lifeguards know parents dont know their child better.
Dc test the kids at pool parties by gettimg them to jump in at deep , been told by the parents they are hood swimmers. They sink straight to the bottom and have to be pulled out by the lgs.

Tbh @Merlin3189

That was pretty much nonsense.

Same! Took DS swimming from 4 months, he’s now 6 and in level 5 classes (so swimming lengths). There are a couple of lifeguards at our local pool who don’t let under 8s in the deep end (others are fine with it). I could argue the toss and insist he is fine, but why would I? Does it actually matter? I’d be even less inclined to argue if it was a two year old.

Oh my, now we have jumped into the "Your mother wears army boots" part of the "discussion". OP, you cannot see anything but your own viewpoint, so why did you bother posting? If you wish to stomp your feet and throw your toys out of the pram, go for it, but be prepared to be called out on it.

I would query whether your dc IS a lifeguard if that's how he tests people's swimming ability! That is definitely not how you should do it in any circumstances.
OP is certainly not asking her dc to jump into the deep end. This shows how much more sensible parents are than some pool attendants.

But to Marcopront's comment: yes, I accept that parents do sometimes put their children in danger. What I do not believe, is that they do so intentionally. It may even be the case that sometimes, a third party might realise a danger, of which the parent isn't aware. But 99% of the time I'd back the judgement of the parent over that of someone like the pool attendant. Can you imagine any parent regularly taking such a very young child to a swimming pool, without being aware of the dangers and without taking absolute care of the child? I can't.

For some children, perhaps they shouldn't be allowed in the pool until they are much older, but the only person who knows is the parent. An attendant, who has probably never seen the child before, can't possibly be as good a judge.

The attendant has a job to do and when I go to the pool I abide by their rules and decisions, whatever I think. That's fair enough. If I disagreed strongly enough with what they do, I would complain to the manager. That is not my right, it is my responsibility. If the management don't know, how can they improve things? This is why OP must complain - not about the attendant, but about the rule. (If it turns out not to be a rule, then the attendant may simply need better guidance.)

What OP was doing is the sort of thing I see in my local pool, sometimes with babies that look much younger. I look on with amazement and admiration, but not apprehension. I'm glad that our attendants and management seem to trust parents and encourage them give their children the opportunity to become happy in water. In the unlikely event such a child got into any sort of difficulty, a pound to a penny their parent would be there in an instant. In the even more unlikely event they did not respond quickly enough, other swimmers would leap to their aid. Being fewer and further away, I doubt the attendants would get a look in - but I don't know how they react, as I've never seen anyone get into difficulties and need a lifeguard.

I don't want to criticise all the people who've mocked my comment. They have a right to their opinions. It does dismay me that so many posters here are scared of shadows, though. They seem to be making up imaginary dangers and wanting to force their fears onto other more rational people. We do not try to make them do anything they don't want to do, so I can't see why they want to stop us from doing things that have no effect on them.

I really can't see how any of you can say, your belief about what is good for OP's DC, is better than her belief. By all means share your opinion about what you think the danger is, just in case she is not aware of it. But please don't criticise her, for being a rational, caring mother, doing what is best for her child.

Things that never happened

I wish people would stop using Karen as an insult though. Really unfair on all the perfectly nice Karens out there, and implies that it's always middle aged women who complain. That's not true at all.

@Merlin3189

yes, I accept that parents do sometimes put their children in danger. What I do not believe, is that they do so intentionally.

Then I think you are very naive.

It may even be the case that sometimes, a third party might realise a danger, of which the parent isn't aware.

Surely in that situation it is better to say something then.
Isn't that what happened?

The abusive poster will be deleted as soon as HQ see the stream of hate speech they've posted.

@Merlin3189
Both my dc have been life guards in the UK and USA.
My DS has worked 3 different pools.
The test was for pool parties where they can fall off large inflatables into the deep end, so the LG need to know how they react going into deep water.
If they sink like some of them do, they need to limit where they can go and keep an extra eye on them.
The parents claim they are good swimmers and reality shows they are not capable at all, so much for parents knowing best.