AIBU to expect DD and DS to share twin room on holiday?

[piedbeauty]

Currently on holiday. We spent five nights in hotels, then a week in a self catering house, then three more nights in a hotel before home. Dc - 15 and 18 - have been sharing a twin room (had their own rooms in the SC house).

I thought this would work, since they get on, and we'd just be in the rooms in the evening, but they're arguing.

AIBU to expect them to share? SHould I just have got a room each, never mind the expense? Or is this normal for the end of a holiday, when we're all fed up with each other and need our own space??

I would expect them to share. A room each in a hotel is ridiculous.

My older teen boy and girl choose to share. We gave them all the options. They don’t want to share with their dad who snores or me who goes to bed and wakes early. They’re decent and respectful of each other and change in the bathroom. Twin beds. They are as messy as each other and don’t have a parent nagging them about unpacking tidily.

All four of us would love our own room but as we aren’t millionaires, we get two rooms! No way would I pander to this nonsense.

Our 2 have shared on holiday since they were tiny. They are now 23 and 20, they still share if we all go away.
We are visiting relatives soon for 3 nights, they will also share there too.

Well one sibling can step out for the 5 mins it takes to get ready for bed then

My lucky children travel regularly. Sharing a room with someone, usually their sibling and sometimes cousins, is part of that deal. Sometimes all 4 of us share a room. It would be seriously limiting to our travelling fun if we had to book an extra room because they couldn’t share. It would mean most of the fabulous adventures we’ve had would be impossible. A room to themselves is a nice-to-have, but not a dealbreaker.

No way would my teenagers share on holiday, whether a hotel room or tent.
They need some privacy and they'd drive us all mad with their bickering.

We book two hotel rooms: one for me and DD, and another for DH and DS. Ours has nice smelliest, snacks and sheet masks 😃. The men? 😵‍💫

DH and I are past the stage of having rampant sex on holiday. And he snores.

In this situation you should share with dd and your dh with ds. That's what I would do.

I shared a twin room with my brother (3 years older than me) on holiday until my mid twenties! Privacy wasn't an issue, we'd get changed in the bathroom. It's only a week or so...

Are they arguing specifically about the room situation? Or just bring bickersome?

True!! I'm just thinking about the ££ we have spent to argue here 😬

I always shared with my brother as a teen. We bickered a bit but it was fine. Honestly some places the 4 of us shared one large room up till when I was 13/14 and that was also fine. We have 2 girls and they are much younger but our approach with them is same as your two that if we are getting self catering we book a 3 bed so they each have a room and if we are booking hotels we aim for two connecting rooms. They already bicker a bit when sharing now & sure they will in the future but I don’t think it’s a big deal. As pp pointed out if either child wants privacy the other can step out for a bit or one can change in bathroom or each can change while other goes and brushes teeth 🤷🏼‍♀️

In my family they’d be expected to share and get on with it. Opposite sexes or not, this is life and they are siblings. We don’t parent our kids to be inflexible, precious and entitled. So this sharing scenario would be a hard ‘get on with it and stop bringing everyone else down with your arguing’.

I think it’s fine on holiday as long as they have an en-suite so can change in there etc. paying for another room just seems silly.

For limited time on a holidy they should be able to work it out.
Can you organise a share female bathroom with DD and yourself?

I was going to say the same. If it’s to the point of ruining the rest of the holiday…

My dd (19) and ds (17) will be sharing a twin room for 2 weeks when we go on holiday. No doubt they will bicker but they will get on with it, bathroom is there for privacy. Honestly, they’ve grown up together and no way can we afford an extra room.

I did share with dd last night.

But this is the last stop of the hol and dh and I booked ourselves a luxury room with a view. Because we do still get on and we would like to have sex on holiday...

Oh well.

No! They love the hotels, they're just bickering. Ds more than dd. He's said some nasty things to dd.

We just don’t have sex on holiday if we go with our dc. It’s what, a week / two weeks at most? We’ve been married over 15 years, we don’t care if it means we can stay somewhere smaller and save money etc!

True!! I'm just thinking about the ££ we have spent to argue here 😬

Tell them that - and that next year they're old enough to stay home alone as they can't behave when you take them away.

Have a great holiday next year with DH.

Are they bickering, or is there issues and he's going into verbal abuse? Who is the under 16 and who is the adult? I was going to say that the solution is to share based on sex. Don't gloss over the nastiness.

Absolutely! Booking an extra room at a potential cost of £1000s - spoilt kids! If I told my kids they could no longer go skiing because we can’t afford a room for each of them they be would falling over themselves to share a room.

I’m from a family background though where my family of 5 all shared one tent till I was 16, and we had wonderful holidays.

If my kids bickered and ruined holidays because they had to share a room for 2 weeks of the year I give them a very sharp lesson in how privileged they are to be on holiday at all. And no - no way would I be sharing with DD. I also like my holiday sex.

Mine are now 23 and 20 and will be sharing a twin room in most places in our upcoming Mexico trip. They know this, and are fine with it. I usually try to book 3 bedrooms but it has been tricky.

However, I would not have done this when they were in their teens as they did not get on particularly well.

During the 10-18 years I either booked 3 bedrooms (apartments) or had DH&DS in one room and myself & DD in another.

Now they are adults they just crack on!

Full disclosure I only have one child anyway. But I'd see it as a really entitled attitude for a teen to expect their own room on a family holiday when it's adding hundreds to the cost. Even if I could afford three rooms I would see it as terrible value and would expect them to appreciate this as well.

For me it's not about privacy in the sense of getting changed (obviously there is the bathroom for this) but about the need for some time alone as an introvert, which isn't about sex at all. I used to share with my (same sex) sibling and I was lucky that a bit of time for me to have space to myself was always facilitated (an hour in the room alone to chill out while my sister was swimming etc).

I would also much rather have shared with a sibling at that age than one of my parents.

I think normal to share and normal to argue, especially at the end of a fairly long holiday. We’ve started only going away for a few days with our teens, they don’t want to be away with us for 2 weeks anymore, 5 nights seems the perfect amount of time. It’s only a few years until they’ll be all grown up, then we can start booking the nicer stuff we really want to do on our own.