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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DD and DS to share twin room on holiday?

91 replies

piedbeauty · 16/07/2023 06:30

Currently on holiday. We spent five nights in hotels, then a week in a self catering house, then three more nights in a hotel before home. Dc - 15 and 18 - have been sharing a twin room (had their own rooms in the SC house).

I thought this would work, since they get on, and we'd just be in the rooms in the evening, but they're arguing.

AIBU to expect them to share? SHould I just have got a room each, never mind the expense? Or is this normal for the end of a holiday, when we're all fed up with each other and need our own space??

OP posts:
PowerBMI · 16/07/2023 06:33

My kids are 19 and 13 I would have fully expected some bickering or annoying each-other.

It’s probably a mix of everything.

Wether you should have booked another room depends on how bad the arguments were, if they feel comfortable sharing, your finances, availability and so on

There no clear cut you should have done X or Y

goldcheese · 16/07/2023 06:34

They are teenagers, they need more privacy to get changed etc
Do they share a room at home?

DNAwrangler · 16/07/2023 06:35

No way should you have booked another room. They’ll just have to figure it out, that’s life if you’re not paying for yourself!

DNAwrangler · 16/07/2023 06:35

I’m sure there is a bathroom they can get changed in.

Oysterbabe · 16/07/2023 06:38

I think sharing on holiday is completely reasonable. They need to suck it up.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 16/07/2023 06:42

I think it is fine to expect them to share a few nights. If they were at a sleepover/party they would have no issue crashing in a room with a few friends. I think it is probably just the stage of the holiday.

olympicsrock · 16/07/2023 06:43

Perfectly reasonable for them to share on holiday. They can get changed in the bathroom. It’s only for a few days

LobsterCrab · 16/07/2023 06:43

Teens sharing a room on holiday is completely normal IMO. Too expensive otherwise.

cariadlet · 16/07/2023 06:43

I wouldn't expect teenagers to share when they are different sexes. They need privacy at that age.

If you can't afford 3 separate rooms, then I would have daughter and mum in one room and dad and son in the other.

Not ideal but it was only for a few days.

TropicalTrama · 16/07/2023 06:50

Of course it’s fine. They can change in the bathroom. The 15YO is maybe a bit young for all that but I’m sure the 18YO crashes with friends after parties/nights out and it’s both sexes and several to a room.

Sounds like it’s quite a long trip so they’re probably just over it at this point and ready to go home to their friends.

orangeleavesinautumn · 16/07/2023 06:52

goodness, how would they have coped in a tent?

Hoppinggreen · 16/07/2023 06:53

Mine are similar ages and we don’t make them share a room now, they both want privacy and I can’t deal with the complaining from them.
Its affordable so I don’t mind

londonrach · 16/07/2023 06:53

Of course they share on holiday.

Mindymomo · 16/07/2023 06:57

Your alternative is for you to share with DD and your DH/Partner to share with DS, if you’ve got twin beds. We’ve been in hotels where you get 2 double beds in rooms, so all 4 of us in same room, luckily it worked out fine just for a week, we were out most of the day and out for meals at night, so not much time spent in room.

justlonelystars · 16/07/2023 07:23

I hated sharing with my brother on holiday. The lack of privacy around getting changed or if I had my period etc. I would share with my mum whilst my brother shared with my dad! I don’t think siblings of opposite sex should share personally.

DNAwrangler · 16/07/2023 07:26

I’m very surprised that people are shelling out for two hotel rooms for a pair of siblings. Trying to imagine the luxury of having a hotel room to myself on a family holiday!

2boysandagirltoo · 16/07/2023 07:29

DNAwrangler · 16/07/2023 07:26

I’m very surprised that people are shelling out for two hotel rooms for a pair of siblings. Trying to imagine the luxury of having a hotel room to myself on a family holiday!

I'm trying to imagine the luxury of a holiday!

smilesup · 16/07/2023 07:32

justlonelystars · 16/07/2023 07:23

I hated sharing with my brother on holiday. The lack of privacy around getting changed or if I had my period etc. I would share with my mum whilst my brother shared with my dad! I don’t think siblings of opposite sex should share personally.

Surely you had a bathroom? My 3 teens (mixed sexes) merrily share on holiday. They know full well we couldn't afford it otherwise. They can pay for a separate room themselves if they are that bothered.

DisquietintheRanks · 16/07/2023 07:34

At that age I used to share with my mum and my brother with my dad when we were on holiday.

Original poster
piedbeauty · 16/07/2023 07:34

Good, glad I'm not being u! Yes, they have a bathroom to change in...

A bit pissed off with them tbh. Might suggest we all do our own thing today and meet up this eve, get a bit of space.

OP posts:
justlonelystars · 16/07/2023 07:35

smilesup · 16/07/2023 07:32

Surely you had a bathroom? My 3 teens (mixed sexes) merrily share on holiday. They know full well we couldn't afford it otherwise. They can pay for a separate room themselves if they are that bothered.

Show quote history

We often went on cruises where the bathrooms are TINY (literally barely enough room to turn around in, let alone get dressed). Honestly, I was such an insecure, shy teen I would rather have stayed at home than be forced to share with my brother. I would never have asked my parents to pay for another room for me 🤷🏼‍♀️

TeaKitten · 16/07/2023 07:36

Sharing on holiday is normal, siblings arguing is normal. Teenage siblings arguing whilst sharing rooms on a holiday lasting more than 2 weeks is both normal and inevitable. It’s surprising that you are surprised by it! Hopefully you’ve generally had a nice holiday though.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 16/07/2023 07:42

We didn't go on holidays when I was younger, but if we had, I would have hated to share with one of my brothers.

Maybe that's why we didn't go.

Totalwasteofpaper · 16/07/2023 07:45

cariadlet · 16/07/2023 06:43

I wouldn't expect teenagers to share when they are different sexes. They need privacy at that age.

If you can't afford 3 separate rooms, then I would have daughter and mum in one room and dad and son in the other.

Not ideal but it was only for a few days.

I know there are a few posts like these and i am kind of shocked.... are you all super high earners?

We have a high(ish) household income (ie both of us earn into 6 figures) and would never consider anything other than sharing.

The cost for single occupancy is exorbitantly expensive. I would not be adding thousands on to a holiday because they couldnt lie in the same room without bickering. There are much better things i could use it for.

I might consider swapping so women sleep together / men sleep together for the remainder if it meant more peace

Cheerfulcharlie · 16/07/2023 07:46

I don’t think it’s unreasonable on holiday but if it’s not working maybe you could share with your DD and your DS could have the other room to himself? (Or are you with their dad there too? In which case your DS could share with him)

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