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Original poster

To wish my relative would stop harping on about portion sizes

556 replies

Averagesizedsalad · 14/07/2023 22:18

I have a relative who is doing my head in with their repeated "Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage" dramas. I need to rant before I explode! Share with me your infuriating virtue signalling teeny tiny stories? Maybe I am just extra cranky because I am HUNGRY everytime I see them because I'm breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Said relatives recent examples:

  • When served a totally average sized salad for lunch, lamented "Oh this is so large, however will I have room for dinner later? I shall have to skip dinner, this salad will keep me full until morning" (I WISH I was joking, but alas I am not)
  • Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand. Of course accompanied by "Oh what a large meal, I shan't want dinner later at all!" It equated to about 1 normal sized portion of pasta dish split between 2 people, so fair enough that might be considered a light lunch if you're expecting a big dinner later, but not so much food that you wouldn't need to eat later on!
  • Lamented that after having a normal sized slice of cake at a party that they were "Being sooooo naughty and would need to go on a big diet afterwards". It's a single slice of cake at a birthday party for goodness sake! You're not eating 1/4 of a cake everyday for dessert!

Obligatory: relative doesn't suffer from any health issues that might result in a small appetite blah blah blah. They are just insufferable and enjoy attention.

Thanks for listening to a hungry lactating mother complain after having about 10 curls (pieces? Squirls? What is the correct term here??) of pasta for "Lunch"

OP posts:
treacledan71 · 16/07/2023 21:02

SuperSange · 16/07/2023 18:34

In a previous job we had a food commentator; I held it together for months, but finally snapped and asked' who called the fucking food police?'

Lol I use to work with one of these. She seemed to like to comment on slightly bigger people too on what they ate. I hate people who think they are the salt police. A few of us shared a bottle of salt for lunch etc and she and another would always comment it was bad for you. Only had like a bit with soup etc.

MustWeDoThis · 16/07/2023 21:14

Averagesizedsalad · 14/07/2023 22:18

I have a relative who is doing my head in with their repeated "Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage" dramas. I need to rant before I explode! Share with me your infuriating virtue signalling teeny tiny stories? Maybe I am just extra cranky because I am HUNGRY everytime I see them because I'm breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Said relatives recent examples:

  • When served a totally average sized salad for lunch, lamented "Oh this is so large, however will I have room for dinner later? I shall have to skip dinner, this salad will keep me full until morning" (I WISH I was joking, but alas I am not)
  • Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand. Of course accompanied by "Oh what a large meal, I shan't want dinner later at all!" It equated to about 1 normal sized portion of pasta dish split between 2 people, so fair enough that might be considered a light lunch if you're expecting a big dinner later, but not so much food that you wouldn't need to eat later on!
  • Lamented that after having a normal sized slice of cake at a party that they were "Being sooooo naughty and would need to go on a big diet afterwards". It's a single slice of cake at a birthday party for goodness sake! You're not eating 1/4 of a cake everyday for dessert!

Obligatory: relative doesn't suffer from any health issues that might result in a small appetite blah blah blah. They are just insufferable and enjoy attention.

Thanks for listening to a hungry lactating mother complain after having about 10 curls (pieces? Squirls? What is the correct term here??) of pasta for "Lunch"

A) She might have an eating disorder

B) She is a narcissist

C) She is insecure about something and is misplacing that insecurity on you, to make herself feel better.

D) Next time - Pick up her plate, push half of her food onto your plate, and say, "Waste not, want not. I couldn't possibly watch you ruin that figure. I need more fat for my tattas. Hubby loves burying his between them and motorboating, especially when they spray him with milk." Then giggle really obnoxiously.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 16/07/2023 22:01

treacledan71 · 16/07/2023 21:02

Lol I use to work with one of these. She seemed to like to comment on slightly bigger people too on what they ate. I hate people who think they are the salt police. A few of us shared a bottle of salt for lunch etc and she and another would always comment it was bad for you. Only had like a bit with soup etc.

Show quote history

Oh yes, I’ve had one of these. He used to go on about how I ate “soooo much salt” and didn’t I know it was really bad for me? I replied each and every time that salt was a lot less dangerous than the cigarette he went out for every hour, on the hour.

Grayson1965 · 16/07/2023 22:05

They soooo piss me off my friend does it and I just say shut the feck up or don't eat it she just laughs but I could get her in a head lock and make her eat 2 samosa at the Indian as she won't eat her mains but she can stuff 3 fruit scones with fresh cream down her neck no problem and she will say oh I don't know how you eat all that I say shut the feckup that's irrelevant don't say it again and I shove every bit in my big fat gobbbb

Mamanyt · 16/07/2023 23:57

Lord, I hate people who do this! I finally started telling them, "Oh, you poor dear! I'm so lucky that I have a normal metabolism. Have you seen your doctor about your tendency to gain weight when eating normal portions? It could be dangerous!" Every. Single. Time.

ChellyT · 17/07/2023 01:40

Yes!

Food is meant to nourishing and be enjoyed or we'd all have tubes directly connected to our stomachs and unfortunately there are plenty of people who this is their realities.

I'm now curious if this is all 'said relative' has to offer in actual social gatherings. Does 'said relative' have an eating disorder and feels the need to police other's eating habits...

ChellyT · 17/07/2023 01:41

👏Yes!

laceydoily · 17/07/2023 06:29

Mamanyt · 16/07/2023 23:57

Lord, I hate people who do this! I finally started telling them, "Oh, you poor dear! I'm so lucky that I have a normal metabolism. Have you seen your doctor about your tendency to gain weight when eating normal portions? It could be dangerous!" Every. Single. Time.

😂

lynfordthecrab · 17/07/2023 07:46

I have a friend like this, as soon as she gets 3 mouths into every meal she says “oh Im full already its so much” and then continues to huff and sigh with every mouthful with the continued effort of stuffing it in!
She will then expect her husband to finish anything she cant manage, gets arsey if he wont but will also make digs at him if he puts on any weight.
it really spoils the meal for me because being bigger than her anyway i feel like I shouldn’t be still eating or enjoying my own meal and I end up feeling fat shamed for want of a better expression because I eat my food and shes told us repeatedly how much food it is!

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 07:50

it really spoils the meal for me because being bigger than her anyway i feel like I shouldn’t be still eating or enjoying my own meal and I end up feeling fat shamed for want of a better expression because I eat my food and shes told us repeatedly how much food it is!

That's the intention. And it's why it's such obnoxious behaviour.

Anything that ruins someone's meal for them is bad table manners.

Miisty · 17/07/2023 08:02

Your breastfeeding so you need more calories for baby !

LosingTheBelly · 17/07/2023 08:35

lynfordthecrab · 17/07/2023 07:46

I have a friend like this, as soon as she gets 3 mouths into every meal she says “oh Im full already its so much” and then continues to huff and sigh with every mouthful with the continued effort of stuffing it in!
She will then expect her husband to finish anything she cant manage, gets arsey if he wont but will also make digs at him if he puts on any weight.
it really spoils the meal for me because being bigger than her anyway i feel like I shouldn’t be still eating or enjoying my own meal and I end up feeling fat shamed for want of a better expression because I eat my food and shes told us repeatedly how much food it is!

I was present at the first date between my BF and her now Husband. (It was a double date and we went for solidarity).

her date leaned forward and said to her quietly while she was eating ; 'Should you really be eating that?' Then gave us the benefit of his view that no-one should eat more than 11 bites of any meal. Anything more was sheer gluttony. Where he got the scientific measurement of ''11 bites' is beyond me.

He then proceeded to critique her menu choices at every stage.

She did marry him. Not sure why. He has continued to police her choices and as can be imagined is a total arse in most areas of his life and she now does the performative daintiness in public while binge eating in private out of his sight.

laceydoily · 17/07/2023 09:12

LosingTheBelly · 17/07/2023 08:35

I was present at the first date between my BF and her now Husband. (It was a double date and we went for solidarity).

her date leaned forward and said to her quietly while she was eating ; 'Should you really be eating that?' Then gave us the benefit of his view that no-one should eat more than 11 bites of any meal. Anything more was sheer gluttony. Where he got the scientific measurement of ''11 bites' is beyond me.

He then proceeded to critique her menu choices at every stage.

She did marry him. Not sure why. He has continued to police her choices and as can be imagined is a total arse in most areas of his life and she now does the performative daintiness in public while binge eating in private out of his sight.

Show quote history

urgh, thats so awful.

I dated a guy really into the gym/fitness once, I am a regular gym goer too so thought we'd get on. On our 4th date we ended up in McDonalds because it was late and the only food place open we could find in the area. I ordered a small burger and he said "Should you be eating that?- its not great considering all your gym work". I dumped him immediately. I'm not being food policed by someone I barely know and I knew this would continue into our relationship and only get worse. This was like the second time in my entire life I've ever eaten at Mcdonalds, its not like I ate it for every damn meal. I didnt want to spend the rest of my life like your BF.

LosingTheBelly · 17/07/2023 09:29

I am glad you dumped him @laceydoily

There have been more than a few times we have all gone away for a weekend etc and I have walked into my own bedroom to find my BF tucked away there eating frantically (sandwiches; chocolate bars; birthday cake) and she just asks me 'not to tell'.

She married him at 22 and we are both 50 now. A lifetime of that.

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 09:52

laceydoily · 17/07/2023 09:12

urgh, thats so awful.

I dated a guy really into the gym/fitness once, I am a regular gym goer too so thought we'd get on. On our 4th date we ended up in McDonalds because it was late and the only food place open we could find in the area. I ordered a small burger and he said "Should you be eating that?- its not great considering all your gym work". I dumped him immediately. I'm not being food policed by someone I barely know and I knew this would continue into our relationship and only get worse. This was like the second time in my entire life I've ever eaten at Mcdonalds, its not like I ate it for every damn meal. I didnt want to spend the rest of my life like your BF.

Show quote history

You were both there...wasn't he planning to eat something?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 17/07/2023 10:14

LosingTheBelly · 17/07/2023 09:29

I am glad you dumped him @laceydoily

There have been more than a few times we have all gone away for a weekend etc and I have walked into my own bedroom to find my BF tucked away there eating frantically (sandwiches; chocolate bars; birthday cake) and she just asks me 'not to tell'.

She married him at 22 and we are both 50 now. A lifetime of that.

Your poor friend. Why has she put herself through that, for all those years? She has to live with deception when in a normal marriage with a decent man, she wouldn't. :(

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 10:41

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 17/07/2023 10:14

Your poor friend. Why has she put herself through that, for all those years? She has to live with deception when in a normal marriage with a decent man, she wouldn't. :(

Show quote history

So many people, usually women, are so enslaved to the idea that it's virtuous to eat very little, that they probably think the guy is a moral guardian...or at least, that he's right even if he's being insensitive about it.

You get it on here all the time. Endless moralising about things with no moral value, while actual decency - how you treat others, how you affect the world around you - is dismissed completely. No, no, whether you ate a cake is the actual measure of your human worth.

Annaisatwat · 17/07/2023 10:56

LosingTheBelly · 17/07/2023 08:35

I was present at the first date between my BF and her now Husband. (It was a double date and we went for solidarity).

her date leaned forward and said to her quietly while she was eating ; 'Should you really be eating that?' Then gave us the benefit of his view that no-one should eat more than 11 bites of any meal. Anything more was sheer gluttony. Where he got the scientific measurement of ''11 bites' is beyond me.

He then proceeded to critique her menu choices at every stage.

She did marry him. Not sure why. He has continued to police her choices and as can be imagined is a total arse in most areas of his life and she now does the performative daintiness in public while binge eating in private out of his sight.

Show quote history

I would have shovelled in 11 of the biggest spoons of food I could fit into my mouth while staring him in the eyes and then told him to go and fuck himself.

She married him?! Bloody hell. Not even if he shat golden eggs.

GnomeDePlume · 17/07/2023 10:57

I don't think the daintiness is about eating little but about eating less than they have been given and often less than other people are eating. They don't want a small portion.

This is the performative element.

Lots of people have small appetites but are happy to eat less without making a song and dance about it.

AutumnCrow · 17/07/2023 11:25

I've had two previous boyfriends who tried it on with the 'you're not going to eat all that, are you?!' faux shock. Well, no obviously I'm not going to eat a kilo of pasta in one sitting you absolute melt - I'm batch cooking towards a few week's worth of economical frozen dinners, so fuck off and over-spend on your daily rip-off Burger King takeaways.

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 11:30

GnomeDePlume · 17/07/2023 10:57

I don't think the daintiness is about eating little but about eating less than they have been given and often less than other people are eating. They don't want a small portion.

This is the performative element.

Lots of people have small appetites but are happy to eat less without making a song and dance about it.

Quite right. Which is why setting it up for everyone to serve themselves isn't a solution. They don't want a small portion, they want everyone to see what a small portion they're having and to feel bad for having more. So they won't just serve themselves a smaller amount, they'll gasp in horror at how much is on the table and wang ok about how they can't possibly eat as much as everyone else is having.

It's the kind of disorder that you get only when food is plentiful.

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 11:46

Are these types still on Mumsnet? I’ve been away a while but threads such as ‘Is my husband greedy? I’ve been nibbling on one square of ‘naice choc’ a week since Christmas. I’ve just gone to the cupboard and husband has scoffed the lot. It was going to last me until November, I’m devastated’ always had me wincing with secondhand embarrassment for their performative daintiness (loving that phrase).

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 11:50

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 11:46

Are these types still on Mumsnet? I’ve been away a while but threads such as ‘Is my husband greedy? I’ve been nibbling on one square of ‘naice choc’ a week since Christmas. I’ve just gone to the cupboard and husband has scoffed the lot. It was going to last me until November, I’m devastated’ always had me wincing with secondhand embarrassment for their performative daintiness (loving that phrase).

I'm not saying anything about any specific user or thread, but the "my husband is so greedy and I eat so little" threads are so common that, rightly or not, they're a recognised type on websites dedicated to identifying trolls.

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 11:53

DrSbaitso · 17/07/2023 11:50

I'm not saying anything about any specific user or thread, but the "my husband is so greedy and I eat so little" threads are so common that, rightly or not, they're a recognised type on websites dedicated to identifying trolls.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t implicate anyone or or anything. I am aware though 😂. Teeny Tinies and all that, wouldn’t even eat a mint I'm sure…

Simonjt · 17/07/2023 11:55

Gerrataere · 17/07/2023 11:46

Are these types still on Mumsnet? I’ve been away a while but threads such as ‘Is my husband greedy? I’ve been nibbling on one square of ‘naice choc’ a week since Christmas. I’ve just gone to the cupboard and husband has scoffed the lot. It was going to last me until November, I’m devastated’ always had me wincing with secondhand embarrassment for their performative daintiness (loving that phrase).

Ah yes we haven’t had a made up greedy husband thread in a while, the teeny tinys must be suffering withdrawal as they’re unable to gasp at the thought of someone eating two whole slices of bread, oh hang on, it wouldn’t be eating, it would be stuffing, snaffling, gobbling or shoving.