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Original poster

To wish my relative would stop harping on about portion sizes

556 replies

Averagesizedsalad · 14/07/2023 22:18

I have a relative who is doing my head in with their repeated "Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage" dramas. I need to rant before I explode! Share with me your infuriating virtue signalling teeny tiny stories? Maybe I am just extra cranky because I am HUNGRY everytime I see them because I'm breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Said relatives recent examples:

  • When served a totally average sized salad for lunch, lamented "Oh this is so large, however will I have room for dinner later? I shall have to skip dinner, this salad will keep me full until morning" (I WISH I was joking, but alas I am not)
  • Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand. Of course accompanied by "Oh what a large meal, I shan't want dinner later at all!" It equated to about 1 normal sized portion of pasta dish split between 2 people, so fair enough that might be considered a light lunch if you're expecting a big dinner later, but not so much food that you wouldn't need to eat later on!
  • Lamented that after having a normal sized slice of cake at a party that they were "Being sooooo naughty and would need to go on a big diet afterwards". It's a single slice of cake at a birthday party for goodness sake! You're not eating 1/4 of a cake everyday for dessert!

Obligatory: relative doesn't suffer from any health issues that might result in a small appetite blah blah blah. They are just insufferable and enjoy attention.

Thanks for listening to a hungry lactating mother complain after having about 10 curls (pieces? Squirls? What is the correct term here??) of pasta for "Lunch"

OP posts:
echt · 15/07/2023 00:14

’A whole bowl? I just read the back of the box, and I was stuffed.’

Superb. Grin

WeetabixTowels · 15/07/2023 00:19

Your friend should be on MN, the competitive underrating threads are bonkers and brilliant. One not long ago the OP said she had a handful of oats for porridge in the morning, beans on toast and then 3 vegan chicken nuggets with veg and a packet of crisps in the evening. She asked if it was too much. Obviously that’s a sparrow’s daily intake but you had posters, without a hint of irony, telling her that’s 2000 calories

EmmaPaella · 15/07/2023 00:19

10HailMarys · 14/07/2023 23:03

I once worked with a woman who, whenever anyone brought in cakes or cookies into the office, would make a huge performance of saying “Would anyone share one with me? I can’t eat a whole one, they’re too big.” Then, when everyone declined sharing (because they were normal people and therefore capable of either eating a whole cookie or not having one at all) she would make another massive performance of getting a knife from the kitchen, with a running commentary on what she was doing, and then splitting a cake/cookie in two, taking half and leaving the other half for someone else. All of this was performative bollocks and all of it was done with maximum fussing and faffing. Every time, whoever had bought the cookies would say “Just eat what you want and throw the rest away, they’re only £1 for a bag in Tesco Metro” but she would keep saying “Nooo, someone else might want half, they’re huge, I’ll just leave this half just in case…”

NOBODY WANTS TO EAT YOUR REJECTED HALF A COOKIE THAT YOU’VE BEEN POKING AT WITH YOUR CLAMMY LITTLE LIMP WEAKLING FINGERS AND A GRUBBY BLUNT DINNER KNIFE, YOU FUCKING MELT, DON’T BE SO FUCKING WET

😂

WeetabixTowels · 15/07/2023 00:21

Sunnyespania · 14/07/2023 22:46

Yes. It’s performative daintiness. That’s exactly what it is. Why shouldn’t women do things to work up an appetite and then eat lots? Why is it acceptable for men and not women?

Show quote history

I just think it’s indicative of an eating disorder and I’d rather crack on with my non-eating disorder lifestyle! But yes I find the same people think strapping men need huge sizes otherwise they’ll starve

EmmaPaella · 15/07/2023 00:26

YANBU. DM does this. I also could not care less what size portion anyone has nor do I want to hear about it. Or have to witness anyone forking their last new potato doubtfully.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 15/07/2023 00:31

I don’t really mind this. Some of them just need to speak their thought processes. I don’t do it but I can see why some do. It’s the same as “I’ve had xx cups of coffee” or “I need to cut back on gin” etc. I just nod and let it go.

ThinWomansBrain · 15/07/2023 00:31

Just eat her, OP.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 15/07/2023 00:36

Curledupwithabook · 14/07/2023 23:02

I listened to an interview once with Deborah Francis-White (feminist comedian/campaigner, if you've not heard of her)

She talked about a little project where she went to cafes, ordered desserts, and didn't make a self deprecating joke or apologise for doing so.

She described how difficult it was not to do so automatically, how uncomfortable she felt, and how frequently staff would come to talk to her about the fact she'd ordered two desserts including even that kitchen staff would come out of the kitchen to watch to see if she really are both. She continued the project until she could do so without feeling weird about it.

It did really highlight to me how messed up our attitudes to food are.

I feel like people are watching whatever anyone eats, big or small, and it’s equally off putting. This thread proves it.

DuplicateUserName · 15/07/2023 00:41

Hmm I think there's too much hyperbole in your OP to take you seriously OP.

"Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage"

Except she didn't actually say those words did she? Confused

Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand.

So five pieces of pasta? Really?

If you're hungry just eat what you want when you want and ignore her.

That way you'll both be happy instead of encouraging people to slag off others with their 'Teeny Tiny stories'.

It's just as bad as asking for stories about 'Huge Massives'.

Peachy2005 · 15/07/2023 00:43

My FIL goes on like this at every family meal out, so it’s not just women who do it!

DiddyHeck · 15/07/2023 00:46

Windbeneathmybingowings · 15/07/2023 00:36

I feel like people are watching whatever anyone eats, big or small, and it’s equally off putting. This thread proves it.

Show quote history

Yes I often get the opposite when going out to eat with certain people.

Because I don't have a particularly large appetite, I get "Oooh look at you being good and not taking much from the carvery/buffet".

And if I don't want a dessert (again because I get full quickly) I'll often get "Oooh just live a little. Have a cake, it's not like you need to worry about your weight".

I'm not friggin worried about it, but why don't you all just enjoy your meal and let me enjoy mine, without all the scrutiny and giggling Hmm

Tophy124 · 15/07/2023 00:57

I don’t eat dinner if I’ve had a big lunch and often skip breakfast or lunch, but I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone IRL. I think my eating habits are atrocious tbh!! And yes im very thin. I just don’t seem to get hungry as often. I grew up in a family of people who constantly commented on portion sizes and they are all overweight!

RobertaFirmino · 15/07/2023 00:57

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 14/07/2023 22:42

I can’t stand performative daintiness around food. Eat what you want, but don’t drag me into your mental processes around it, because I don’t actually give a toss.

I do physically hard work and a lot of exercise, and I eat accordingly. And I enjoy it.

Performative daintiness! What a superb expression for it, thank you!

I'm afraid I can be quite awful in the company of a PD. I'm a scrawny, lanky git and can never resist performative eating. Makes me just as bad as them really, I know but all this 'A whole jacket potato? For lunch?' business has the potential to make others feel really bad about themselves and there's just no need for it.

PoolQuandry · 15/07/2023 00:59

My MIL insists on asking for child portions of food every single time we eat out even though without fail she's told they don't do them.

Then she goes through the entire menu saying she can't have this and she can't have that. We make suggestions and she rejects them. She comments on how big the portions will be. We tell her to just eat what she wants and leave the rest. And so on and so forth. Every time. It makes me want to stab myself with a fork.

tt9 · 15/07/2023 01:07

just reading this post is making me hungry. better go and eat that cheese scone that's calling my name. in all seriousness, had to restrict my eating for many years due to kidney issues. not allowed even a simple thing like a potato or tomato (maybe 1-2 small pieces at most). made me realise the blessing of being able to eat freely. now, just don't see the point of all this bullshit (mostly) women seem to put themselves through.

Discobabe98 · 15/07/2023 01:14

I absolutely hate this. My mum’s friend used to always do it when I was little, and use the word ‘WE’ when saying something like ‘Ooh we won’t need any dinner after this!’ as if implying myself, a ten year old girl, and her daughter a twelve year old girl, should all agree and feel the same way. This would then make me fear a snide remark about being greedy if I dared eat again after said comment, so I’d go hungry after. I’ve definitely carried this into adulthood and sadly if people in the office are making a fuss about how filling something we are all eating is, and how they couldn’t possibly have any lunch now that they’ve had a grape for breakfast, I find that I head somewhere alone on my lunch break as to not be judged by others for listening to my own body’s needs!

Original poster
Averagesizedsalad · 15/07/2023 01:26

Fwiw I have never commented on another's food choices beyond saying "Oh that looks lovely, I wish I ordered that instead of what I ordered!!" for example. And I often skip breakfast, but have a larger lunch/brunch instead and don't feel the need to wax lyrical about it and the only reason for skipping breakfast is because DBaby has decided that day that mummy can't possibly be allowed 2 minutes off the tit to get a HuGggGEeee bowl of cereal and daddy unfortunately works 12 hour shifts

but pissing myself here at performative daintiness and some of the other replies, thanks for the laughs 🤣

OP posts:
Robyn847 · 15/07/2023 01:30

@Averagesizedsalad if it cheers you up or at least makes you smile, in our family we have batshit MiL who's the complete opposite. If we have s Chinese takeaway she orders 2 entire meals all for herself and seems to think if she offers it to others (no thanks, we've got our meals thanks!) its somehow doesn't count for calories. We have to keep a straight face when every week she cheerfully and proudly tells us "I've just got back from Slimming World, and this week I've only put ONE pound on". The achievement for her is how small her weekly gain is. 😂 The rate at which she eating is hilarious. I'd love to put her in a room with your salad munching relative. Mind you, she'd probably just eat her!

Clymene · 15/07/2023 01:33

Is she on MN?

OnlyFannys · 15/07/2023 01:36

I went on holiday with a teeny tiny and it was all inclusive and I'm generally the type who likes to eat regularly through the day (or I get grumpy). The hotel had a snack bar and I was tucking into a plate of salad (seriously just some iceberg lettuce and cherry tomatoes, no dressing) and I remember her rolling her eyes and making loads of comments about my constant eating and how she doesn't understand why I need to eat so much. I just said to keep me going. Response was "to keep you going until what?" With faux horrified face. Til DINNER obviously. Never understood her need to comment on my diet, I was a size 8-10 at the time so she couldn't even pretend she was worried about my health. Some people just love the attention.

Minesril · 15/07/2023 06:15

Hang on - you're breastfeeding and she served you half a portion of pasta? You should've eaten hers too.

But MN is exactly like this. Someone once asked if it was OK to have granola for breakfast and some batshit poster said 'not really, it's basically flapjacks' 😂

Simonjt · 15/07/2023 06:20

If she posts her diet on MN she’ll likely be told she’s eating too many carbs and needs to cut down in general.

pinklama · 15/07/2023 06:20

My DM is the same - child portions only. Goes on about how big a normal adult portion is. BUT if there are leftovers forces them on others to finish up-‘go on, it’s only a little bit left’

BodegaSushi · 15/07/2023 06:23

I'm going on holiday with a competitive under eater soon. It all comes down to disordered eating, talking about how little you eat or how full you are is part of it, but it's annoying AF.

Upcoming trip is self-catering, one person offered to cook one meal then we said we can eat out/order in for the rest of it, but TT (Teeny Tiny) hopped on saying oooooh I could do a meal too, a large SALAD and was quickly shot down.

Looking forward to it Grin

BodegaSushi · 15/07/2023 06:27

I see the thread has attracted a few TTs.