To wish my relative would stop harping on about portion sizes

[Averagesizedsalad]

I have a relative who is doing my head in with their repeated "Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage" dramas. I need to rant before I explode! Share with me your infuriating virtue signalling teeny tiny stories? Maybe I am just extra cranky because I am HUNGRY everytime I see them because I'm breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Said relatives recent examples:

• When served a totally average sized salad for lunch, lamented "Oh this is so large, however will I have room for dinner later? I shall have to skip dinner, this salad will keep me full until morning" (I WISH I was joking, but alas I am not)

• Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand. Of course accompanied by "Oh what a large meal, I shan't want dinner later at all!" It equated to about 1 normal sized portion of pasta dish split between 2 people, so fair enough that might be considered a light lunch if you're expecting a big dinner later, but not so much food that you wouldn't need to eat later on!

• Lamented that after having a normal sized slice of cake at a party that they were "Being sooooo naughty and would need to go on a big diet afterwards". It's a single slice of cake at a birthday party for goodness sake! You're not eating 1/4 of a cake everyday for dessert!

Obligatory: relative doesn't suffer from any health issues that might result in a small appetite blah blah blah. They are just insufferable and enjoy attention.

Thanks for listening to a hungry lactating mother complain after having about 10 curls (pieces? Squirls? What is the correct term here??) of pasta for "Lunch"

I'm guilty of cutting tiny slivers of cake instead of whole slice.

That's because I don't actually like cake but I'm a greedy sod and can't resist trying a particularly attractive looking cake!!

She means in real life, not on MN. Why don’t you get that?

I had similar with a cousin. Always banging on about having a big dinner or a dessert - they were stick thin.

Hospitalised a few years ago & turned out to be malnutrition! They were making a big show of eating normal food when out in public but write living off water biscuits & popcorn.

Mil used to always tell dh he was fat or had put in weight & then pile mountains of food on his plate & be offended when he was wouldn't finish it

You haven't met my auntie.

'Oooh that's a huge bowl, there's a lot in that bowl! How will we ever eat all that between us? Goodness what a massive bowlful of ... what's that, Celia? Is it lettuce? All that lettuce! And this, is this olives? Goodness me, what a lot of olives ...'

Meanwhile my sister, the hostess, hasn't even sat down yet, and it continues.

'Oh Celia, I hope you've got plenty of room in your fridge for all the leftovers because that is a very big bowl of food, and maybe it'll keep for lunch or dinner tomorrow. Have you got room in your fridge, Celia, hmm?'

Sister is by this point standing behind auntie mimicking stabbing her with a cheese knife.

'And is this tuna? How exotic! Tuna!'

And then ... a gasp of horror.

'I can see boiled egg! Oooh I'll be absolutely stuffed! Maybe i'll just pick out a tiny bit, just a teeny tiny bit. You girls crack on though, you've got heartier appetites than me, that's for sure.'

Sister opens Chardonnay.

Lol

She sounds horrendous. But your sister sounds great!

This is one of the most stupid comments I've read on mums et!

🤣🤣🤣

They still do it. They recoil in horror at how much you've put out and how the entire group won't br able to get through it and comment endlessly on how much less they're serving themselves than everyone else is taking.

You have to understand that this isn't about them not wanting to eat much. It's about the performative show of how little they are having compared to everyone else. They don't just want a smaller portion, they want to turn the entire event into a show about how they eat less than anyone else at the table and how terrible it is that anyone else might wish to eat more than they do.

Just sorting the portion sizes won't solve it, because that's not what they're concerned about.

I would stop asking them tbh, or say each time yes of course I have heard old people don’t have much of an appetite so I’m going to enjoy it whilst I’m young!!
thanjs for reminding me to eat lots before my appetite dwindles like yours!
or maybe she’s pointing out a weight problem she perceives you have🤣🤣

I think it's people going through their own mental thought processes and serious issues around food - outloud!!

My MIL(RIP) used to dole out enormous farm labourer plates of food whilst giving herself tasting menu sized portions.!!

In a previous job we had a food commentator; I held it together for months, but finally snapped and asked' who called the fucking food police?'

Clearly they have issues with food, but I'll be damned if they're going to pass them on to me like herpes.

If they don't run on and on out loud about how little they're having when they're eating alone, there's no reason to do it in company. They're doing it because there's an audience.

Disordered eaters often do push tons of food on to others. It's quite a common behaviour in anorexia.

I would just play a game to see how little I could offer. So start with 10 pieces of pasta and see how close to 1 they get before the comments stop. And if they don't stop I'd start cutting the penne into smaller sections.

Haha this

My mum does this all the time, drives me mad, “what, you’re not having dinner after that massive lunch we had are you??!! I couldn’t eat a thing” Then joins me in eating every scrap of dinner on her plate

God people like this are such a bore.
I have a relative that claims to eat three crab sticks and a tomato for lunch and is full for the day!

Give her minute portion sizes, every time she comments make it smaller.

Or don't give her the cake because you don't want to spoil her appetite for later

IMO she is trying to bring the focus on herself because she wants attention and for people to remark how slim she is.
id put the food in a big serving dish in the middle of the table, give her a side plate and say something like ‘ I always get your portion sizes wrong, u help yourself’. Give her as little attention as possible.
I recently visited a friend that I haven’t seen in a long time, and I could tell she had lost weight, she has always been slim. During the course of the evening she said ‘I’m such a little fatty I won’t have dessert’ and she made me feel like a baby elephant next to her. And I’m not overweight so I understand how uncomfortable she must make u feel. She is the one with the problem, not you. 💐

Re focus on herself equals nail on head.

That is what my colleague does (she is not fat) mentions tiny amount she has eaten and how she might have an apple later.

My MIL can be like this. She barely says anything but when offered drinks, lunch etc when they visit she couldn’t possibly eat anything, like we are greedy for eating a normal meal. I’ve made meals for special occasions and she’s left pretty much the whole meal, in restaurants she’ll do it too. But then my DH goes round and she’s eating full English breakfast’s followed by mars bars 😂

I used to go on residential courses with a group of at least normally sized women. There was a lot of groaning and moaning about how they couldn’t possibly eat all of the evening meal, couldn’t manage a pudding etc. at some point I discovered that they all had packets of biscuits, chocolate, sweets, in their rooms. I had been wondering how they’d managed to keep their strength up.
Annoying as it is (and I was) it’s just one symptom of how women are not supposed to eat with appetite and enjoyment, and respond by denying their natural impulses and twisting themselves out of shape.

This with bells on.

@DrSbaitso oh I totally agree- I just ignore them-

My MIL does this. I really like her but CHRIST, I find this particular aspect of her so boring. She once she gave up on a bowl of broth and put her head in her hands saying "oh I just can't, I simply CAN'T, it's too much!". She also once brought a plain Ryvita to the pub once to have instead of a meal.

I usually just say "not a problem, just eat what you can manage."

😂