To wish my relative would stop harping on about portion sizes

[Averagesizedsalad]

I have a relative who is doing my head in with their repeated "Oh I'm so teeny tiny, oh this is so much food however will i manage" dramas. I need to rant before I explode! Share with me your infuriating virtue signalling teeny tiny stories? Maybe I am just extra cranky because I am HUNGRY everytime I see them because I'm breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Said relatives recent examples:

• When served a totally average sized salad for lunch, lamented "Oh this is so large, however will I have room for dinner later? I shall have to skip dinner, this salad will keep me full until morning" (I WISH I was joking, but alas I am not)

• Recently cooked a meal of pasta for lunch, in which I could count the number of pasta pieces on one hand. Of course accompanied by "Oh what a large meal, I shan't want dinner later at all!" It equated to about 1 normal sized portion of pasta dish split between 2 people, so fair enough that might be considered a light lunch if you're expecting a big dinner later, but not so much food that you wouldn't need to eat later on!

• Lamented that after having a normal sized slice of cake at a party that they were "Being sooooo naughty and would need to go on a big diet afterwards". It's a single slice of cake at a birthday party for goodness sake! You're not eating 1/4 of a cake everyday for dessert!

Obligatory: relative doesn't suffer from any health issues that might result in a small appetite blah blah blah. They are just insufferable and enjoy attention.

Thanks for listening to a hungry lactating mother complain after having about 10 curls (pieces? Squirls? What is the correct term here??) of pasta for "Lunch"

Gosh- I hate all that!
Takes all the joy out of food.

My mum does this. I find it dementing. I often don’t eat dinner if I’ve had a ‘proper’ lunch, but I don’t feel the need to tell people about it.

Deja vu

Don't worry. She is either taking appetite suppressants or bingeing when no one is around. My MIL does this but is still overweight. She just needs everyone to think she has incredible willpower. Meanwhile she comments heavily on my whole foods plant based mealsaaldd as SOOOOO greedy. My meals are huge but have less calories than hers clearly.

I had one of them for lunch and now I can't eat a thing

But you just did! Why did you feel the need to tell MN?!

There's someone at my workplace I bit like this, who likes to comment on how big my portion sizes are, how she could never eat that much, and shock horror 'Are you really going to eat a (hot) meal like that for lunch?? What would you eat for dinner??

I like to smile and tell her, yes I love food. It's one of life's pleasures.

The thing is, while she does eat small portions, she also eats throughout the day, so I doubt I'm eating much more than her. And my food is deliberately 'heavy' (high protein) so it fills me up and I don't reach for the biscuits!

We had lunch out with FIL on holiday. I had a sandwich, he ordered sandwich and chips and ate half the sandwich and the chips. Later that day I went out for a meal. Apparently this was hilarious that I had such a "good" (read huge) appetite because I went for a meal in the eve after having a whole sandwich for lunch.🙄

Because of the context of the thread?! I really couldn’t care less about what other people, whether strangers on an online forum or my own friends, eat during a day. And I doubt anyone is remotely interested in my food consumption.

I can’t stand performative daintiness around food. Eat what you want, but don’t drag me into your mental processes around it, because I don’t actually give a toss.

I do physically hard work and a lot of exercise, and I eat accordingly. And I enjoy it.

Yes. It’s performative daintiness. That’s exactly what it is. Why shouldn’t women do things to work up an appetite and then eat lots? Why is it acceptable for men and not women?

Take her at her word, or pretend to. If you're around her for a second meal that day or offering cake or something like that, say something like "let's have cake! oh, you won't want any, X, you were saying you're so full".

For the cake, I'd be concerned if she's talking like that around children, especially girls. What a harmful message to send. I'd try to shut that down.

Tell the gobshite to pack it in.

I listened to an interview once with Deborah Francis-White (feminist comedian/campaigner, if you've not heard of her)

She talked about a little project where she went to cafes, ordered desserts, and didn't make a self deprecating joke or apologise for doing so.

She described how difficult it was not to do so automatically, how uncomfortable she felt, and how frequently staff would come to talk to her about the fact she'd ordered two desserts including even that kitchen staff would come out of the kitchen to watch to see if she really are both. She continued the project until she could do so without feeling weird about it.

It did really highlight to me how messed up our attitudes to food are.

I once worked with a woman who, whenever anyone brought in cakes or cookies into the office, would make a huge performance of saying “Would anyone share one with me? I can’t eat a whole one, they’re too big.” Then, when everyone declined sharing (because they were normal people and therefore capable of either eating a whole cookie or not having one at all) she would make another massive performance of getting a knife from the kitchen, with a running commentary on what she was doing, and then splitting a cake/cookie in two, taking half and leaving the other half for someone else. All of this was performative bollocks and all of it was done with maximum fussing and faffing. Every time, whoever had bought the cookies would say “Just eat what you want and throw the rest away, they’re only £1 for a bag in Tesco Metro” but she would keep saying “Nooo, someone else might want half, they’re huge, I’ll just leave this half just in case…”

NOBODY WANTS TO EAT YOUR REJECTED HALF A COOKIE THAT YOU’VE BEEN POKING AT WITH YOUR CLAMMY LITTLE LIMP WEAKLING FINGERS AND A GRUBBY BLUNT DINNER KNIFE, YOU FUCKING MELT, DON’T BE SO FUCKING WET

Missing the point of the thread, but "squirls" of pasta is delightful.

This is annoying. It's not what I'd consider virtue signalling though.

Yeah two women I work with are locked in mortal competitive undereating combat.

’I only had a bowl of cereal for dinner last night.’
’A whole bowl? I just read the back of the box, and I was stuffed.’
’Well, when I say ‘bowl’, I actually mean ‘doll thimble…’

And on, and on, and on…

My MIL competitively undereats meals (or at least she does when we are present) and makes a huge deal of it. I feel your pain OP!

My mum started doing this and I said one day “do you remember telling us as kids to eat what you want and stop when you’re full? Yeah do that and stop commenting”. To her credit she stopped commenting to me at least.

I hate this too, I've been out twice now with a family member and his new partner who makes SUCH a show of going on and on about how she definitely only wants one course otherwise it's too much...but if anyone else orders a starter she does too. Same with dessert. Every course is "huge" but she still eats it all.
She's not a little woman either so she obviously does eat a decent amount, don't know why she feels the need to put on this pretence each time.

Haha my SIL does this, it's so performative. I just enjoy my food and ignore her, I don't even know who she's trying to impress. No one cares that you can survive for a week on a single stick of celery and absorb all other necessary nutrients by osmosis, woman. Leave me and my giant pasta portion alone.

Just let the relative decide her portion size, call her over when plating stuff if necessary. No big deal.

Not everyone feels comfortable leaving food on a plate and no-one should have to eat more than they want - especially at home/self catering setup when leftovers which remained in the pan are not wasted.

Especially with the cake, I often want to taste it, and half the standard slice is ideal for that. At my workplace it is totally normal wish, and it is possible , just have a normal knife available.
Similarly, I can ask for half a glass of wine or small taster of other alcohol.

I suppose it helps that I'm not teeny tiny or dieting, or talking about teeny tiny dieting, I generally like food, I don't comment on other's portions and there is no performative intention/aspect in it.

Someone I worked couldn't eat a whole baked potato for lunch because they were just sooooooo filling. 🙄

worked WITH