Ridiculously petty things that you can’t even say out loud

[TheSlowRush]

I’ll start.

This has been bugging me all day but I can’t say it out loud to anyone as it’s really not that bigger deal.

Parking is a huge issue where I live, not many people have ORP.

My elderly neighbour got rid of her car a few years ago, we are quite close and she has a driveway, so it was agreed that I could now park over her driveway meaning I am pretty much guaranteed a space right outside my house, rather than having to park halfway down the street.

My lodger has now begun using this space, she works from home a lot too so it’s there for days now sometimes. WAAAaa 🙈🙈.

I can say anything as I will sound like a selfish loon.

FIL - YOU ARE NOT “SAVING WASHING-UP” by pushing your food onto your fork with your fingers when there is a knife at your place-setting! YOU ARE NOT “SAVING WASHING-UP” by leaving disgusting tea-stained mugs next to the fu*king kettle! We have a dishwasher!!!!!

A couple of my neighbours keep forgetting to buy 'Iridescent compost'.

Or people who (try to) queue jump ‘because I got kids’ - well done - still not going to give you priority

Waiting behind someone at a counter, who as they’re being rung up, nips to get other stuff to add to their pile. The other day i was in a small grocery store and the woman carried on shopping while I was waiting. ‘Now tell me what honey should I get? Is it local? Who owns the beehive?’ Etc etc etc
Me = !*#¥! Let me stick a toe up your arse.

humbug.

'Best Regards'

It should be (in my email world anyway) 'Kind Regards' or 'Best Wishes', and just 'Regards' if you like to come across as too busy for anyone/absolutely seething. Many Thanks/Thanks is also acceptable, unless you've started your email with Thanks for this.....then don't repeat yourself!

Those that reply all to say 'thanks Jim' and also those that never reply all when the other person(s) really needs to see the response too!!!

Also those who get my name wrong in the reply Hi <wrong name> when it's IN THE FUCKING EMAIL ADDRESS/BOTTOM OF PREVIOUS FUCKING EMAIL - think Lorraine/Lauren type error....FFS, read people!!!!

Aaaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!

Cleary I have to deal with too many emails at work....and breathe......

That tea towel should ONLY be used for drying plates if you aren't air drying- NOT to wipe dead flies off the work top, clean spills off the floor, clean dog prints off the floor and THEN dry the plates with it 😡

If you want to read the paper, buy the bloody thing instead of reading it and putting it back on the stand. 😤
Why do you stand in front of the double fridge doors in Asda looking for the latest date on the boiled ham slices, while I stand seething behind you for 5 minutes. 😤
When the gate has a polite notice ‘Please Close the Gate, thank you’ on it so the dog doesn’t get out, do you leave the bloody thing open every time. 😤

YES! Also "how did you sleep sweetheart"

"Badly was awake most of the night".

NO. YOU. WEREN'T. Because I was awake most of the night listening to you snore.

Particularly if the baby is completely bald (although it does look a bit cute if this is the case)

This one comes from a hugely not petty thing.

Our neighbours, who have always been massively inconsiderate, think parking in our designated spaces and getting pissy when we asked them to move, letting their trees, which were at a reasonable height, overgrow massively into our garden to the point its damaging our fence (they cut trees back to their side but no further). They have now actually damaged our property (punching holes in party wall). We had to threaten and then apply for injunctions.

They're walking round like they're bambi and someone just killed mother. Like it's our fault because why would we be upset that they damaged our home, they only wanted their loft conversion.

So the petty think is that they still think they've done nothing wrong and want US to be neighbourly.

Ummmm.

The twat across the road with his work transit who never parks outside his girlfriends house despite having a drop curb and LOADS of space outside of this house on the road. I don’t get it, if I get back late he parks right in front of my house. There is stays for days.All I can see is the logo for a company I think are a bunch of cunts. Even if this company improved and were cheaper I still wouldn’t because of this cunts parking.

Supermarket why does it take you your trolley and your partner to get one item you are blocking up a lot of space, don’t judge me when I say excuse me as I don’t have all fucking day. People stop having a reunion in the fucking aisles and totally blocking it. I want to ram you all out the way

Men who chat with another then start walking away still chatting ….walking into me next time hope it’s a wall or similar like a open manhole!

And why the fuck doesn’t that dog at the back of me get a sore throat from barking all the fucking time. Barky bastard hope it loses it voice.

Can't you get them ticketed?

Yes it's painful to watch Americans eat, it looks so clumsy.

I was in a small town in very rural Arizona eating at a little restaurant, tables very close together. I felt like a zoo exhibit as multiple diner watched me use both pieces of cutlery at once in the European fashion.

It's up there with people calling everyone they don't like 'a narcissist'. They aren't a narcissist. They are just a common or garden arsehole

Mothers who have running commentaries in supermarkets with small child in VERY LOUD VOICE. We the other 999 people in Tesco don’t care if he/she/it wants crisps/pasta/chocolate or if-you-carry-on-like-that-you-won’t-get-anything-and-you’ve-got-to-choose-something-else-before-you-have-sweets-and-do-want-fruity-water-no-you-can’t-have-coke-stop-wining-I-told-you-to-be-quiet-and-stop-crying-where’s Aron-gone-AAAARRRRRON-come-here-stop-running-around. Streuth it’s exhausting and drives me mad ..but why !

Perfectly normal usage in Scotland.

’I know you are in a much higher income bracket than me, and don’t need to work, so that you can afford to go on lots of trips away with the local Z-minus celebrity, and I’m truly happy that this makes you happier. But please, don’t tell me alllllll about it with great big eyes and patronising explanations about what is fashionable atm. Yes, I may look like a donkey in desperate need of a makeover these days, but at least I still look relatively like me!’
’Oh, and while we’re at it, please stop asking me to, ‘Pop round and put the bins out as I’m away.’ Your drive is like the north face of the Eiger, and about as long.

And breathe….

One of our neighbours has decided they own the visitors space on our road. It doesn't impact me - we have ample parking ourselves (which is why this is petty of me) and they don't have enough space - I do sympathise with that. But they make a point of never, ever leaving the visitor spot free - if they vacate it, they move another of their cars into it - and their sense of entitlement towards it really irritates me.

That's when you have to add a random item to the basket and run away.

People who say 'different than'. It's 'different FROM'. But I suppose it's going the way of literally.

And people who say 'suppose to' it is 'supposeD'.

Sitting in meetings (teams or face to face) where someone just reads out the corporate emails/ newsletters that we have alllll had individually.

Also see: could of (pronounced ov) and would of/ov should of/ov

Its HAVE! Should of does not make sense.enunciate you lazy fucker

To DP - Stop saying 'frentic'. There's no such word.
To colleague - turn the volume down, you have an extraordinarily loud voice.
To dsis- kick your waster son out. (not petty, but I can't say it)

Mr&Mrs Woefully inadequate. Why have you spent the last 19 years allowing your foul mouthed DD to run feral, breaking all the rules rule, including physically abusing yourselves, trashing property and terrorising the local community whilst in your overprotection of her you have stood by making every excuse, lying for her and blaming everyone else for her appalling behaviour. You have spent all these years languishing in the position of being victims of this and that societal failure instead of taking responsibility and trying to guide her into being a well rounded, well educated individual. What she has learned from you is how to manipulate people and situations in order to be a lazy, dishonest and manipulative young woman who thinks that if she shouts and screams in the way her DM does then everyone will predictably come running with a there there to comfort her. Shame on you for unleashing this ugly thing into society, how on earth do you think she will cope when you’re gone?

Yes! And I don’t know about you but in my local store this aisle blocking has only recently started. Suddenly the majority of the aisles have a couple of enormous pallets shutting off part of the shelves/fridges and leaving no room.