Polite notice - please stop sending me “gentle reminders”

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AIBU to be fed up with seeing these two things?

Why write “Polite notice” as a title to your notice? When someone has read the content of your notice, they will be able to decide for themselves whether it’s polite or not. Something isn’t polite just because the author says it is.

I also think that when people put a “Polite Notice” up saying eg not to park somewhere that maybe they think the word “Polite” looks enough like “Police” at a casual glance for people to be fooled.

Secondly, people recently feel the need for any reminder about anything to be “a gentle reminder.” It’s so passive-aggressive in my opinion. It’s just “a reminder,” surely?

Saying “just a gentle reminder” simultaneously sounds patronising and also vaguely threatening, like “this time it’s gentle, but next time you won’t be so lucky.”

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

Meh, I think it’s just a way of saying “I don’t want to piss you off but can you please ….”

😄

Very gently YABU as you win more bees with honey than vinegar.

I also think that when people put a “Polite Notice” up saying eg not to park somewhere that maybe they think the word “Polite” looks enough like “Police” at a casual glance for people to be fooled.

This is genius, I will do this from now.

I can't get worked up about it because usually the polite notices are a nicer way of saying "can you please not be an arse / I'm reminding you to do something that you should have already done".

Someone I know has to do a lot of polite notices reminding parents to remember to pay their children's enrichment club fees. Some people are cheeky fuckers. I'd be less polite, but that's easy to say from the sidelines when I'm not running their business.

Completely agree with this, a 'polite reminder' is really a 'I'm pissed off I'm having to remind you again, why can't you just do/not do things first time'.

If you're getting lots of 'polite reminders' then I think the problem is you and maybe don't get to the point where people have to keep reminding you to do/not do things.

I think the thing is, a reminder can be gentle, without you saying it’s “gentle.”

“Just a reminder that the school trip to York needs to be paid for today.”

“Just a gentle reminder that the school trip to York needs to be paid for today.”

I actually think the first is more gentle. It’s just factual, an actual reminder, as someone might not remember. When you put “gentle” in, I think it actually sounds less nice!

100% agree anyone who says they are being polite (or gentle) is almost always not being, the twats.

YANBU. This is a brief and polite response to affirm that it is deeply annoying.

Ah, this reminds me of my childhood when my brother and I used to laugh at a garage door that said 'Polite Notice - NO PARKING!' Cue years of 'I'm asking you politely - fuck off!' etc. Good memories.

YANBU - it’s the notice version of someone saying “I don’t mean to be rude but….” Of course they mean to be rude or whatever in what they’re about to say!!

Gentle reminders sent personally to me drive me mad. If I've forgotten to do something you don't need to tiptoe around me, just tell me. I can take it.

“Just a reminder that the school trip to York needs to be paid for today.”

“Just a gentle reminder that the school trip to York needs to be paid for today.”

Bizarre that you’re advocating such self-effacing language like ‘just a reminder’. Women use too much of these language and should be more assertive.

1. Just

The use of ‘Just’ undermines your credibility and makes you sound unsure about the message you are communicating. “Stop saying ‘just,’ E.g. ‘I am just checking in, ‘I just need you to solve the issue with this client,’ ‘I just wanted to add.’

Delete “just” from your next email and conversations. You do not need to apologize for your thoughts or presence. Make your statements clearly without downplaying or sugarcoating the situation or activity. This will make a difference in how you are perceived.

I agree OP. I prefer a reminder to a gentle reminder.

Someone once told me that people put 'Polite Notice' because it's easily misread on first glance as 'Police Notice' which means it grabs the attention.

Absolutely no idea whether this theory has any foundation in fact.

its just an attempt to be non confrontational. Mostly used by people in a role where they generally have less power than the intended recipient or are bound by their job to provide some level of customer service or representation. It’s usually a sign that the employees there have had enough run ins with colleagues/clients that they know to anticipate that the reader is likely to be disproportionally aggressive/critical about the message.

I’m not advocating it at all. I don’t send people emails like this. I’m just quoting the sort of email people send and saying I would prefer it without the word “gentle.”

I don’t do the sort of job or hobby where I organise things and people, so I rarely need to send reminders, gentle or otherwise.

I’ll think about your “just” theory though, if I catch myself writing it!

But clear statements without sugarcoating is exactly what I am advocating.

It doesn't. T looks nothing like C. I've never ever read Polite Notice as Police Notice and I've been marvelling that anyone might expect me to for 50+ years and counting now.

Gentle reminders make me homicidal.

Gentle reminders annoy me too - they have the opposite effect to the one intended. There's something patronising about them. On the other hand, Polite Notices make me laugh. Just be honest and put everything in furious 36 point all caps.

Agreed. My dental surgery sends me gentle reminders that I have an appointment. Be gentle with my mouth please, you can be blunt as you like with an email. “This is a gentle reminder of your appointment you have booked with us …” what are we gaining with this gentleness?

I’m also thoroughly sick of emails hoping they find me well, and I had an instance of ‘kindest regards’ last week that nearly sent me over the edge.

Gentle reminders are cowards, just be firm/precise. Don't dress up something, ask firmly and politely.

I've just realised that's why the boisterous local horse riding woman has POLITE RIDER on her high vi's. It's on a vest with a navy background and reflective strips. She obviously wants people to miss read it as Police, how weird!

I've often seen 'Polite notice' on the back of a motorcycle hi vis in black/white/yellow colouring whizzing down the motorway, it is used because it can at a glance be read as 'police' and I guess more drivers move out of their way so it's definitely a thing.

Of course if you stop and actually read it, you don't read 'police' as they are different words...

I have used gentle reminder at work many times. The people I work with have huge egos and need a softly softly approach to get anything over the line. Sadly.

It’s a complete mystery why people feel the need to try and soften their interactions with others.

Yanfu. So there.

Gentle my arse.

I like how the third sentence starts with 'I'm just' ;)

It is so pervasive, I do this all the time.... the other one I do is 'no worries if not'

YANBU, I dislike the flowery language of 'gentle'

Ha!!!