Polite notice - please stop sending me “gentle reminders”

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AIBU to be fed up with seeing these two things?

Why write “Polite notice” as a title to your notice? When someone has read the content of your notice, they will be able to decide for themselves whether it’s polite or not. Something isn’t polite just because the author says it is.

I also think that when people put a “Polite Notice” up saying eg not to park somewhere that maybe they think the word “Polite” looks enough like “Police” at a casual glance for people to be fooled.

Secondly, people recently feel the need for any reminder about anything to be “a gentle reminder.” It’s so passive-aggressive in my opinion. It’s just “a reminder,” surely?

Saying “just a gentle reminder” simultaneously sounds patronising and also vaguely threatening, like “this time it’s gentle, but next time you won’t be so lucky.”

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

It's not something I could very bothered to analyse. I certainly wouldn't call the use of the term 'gentle' as passive aggressive.
YABU

I know I'm probably unreasonable, but my dentist surgery sends "gentle reminders" of appointments and it annoys me.

To me, a gentle reminder is for something you've already forgotten (like you've not paid a bill), with the implication that the next reminder will be less gentle. For a dentist appointment next week, I would like just a "reminder".

It’s because people take offence at everything these days so a reminder to pay what you owe needs worded as ‘gentle’ so it doesn’t upset anyone.

Why don’t you take on board the feedback you’re getting, acknowledge that it has the opposite effect to the one you’re aiming for, and stop doing it? Or is it more about the gratification you get from the flush of self-righteous virtue?

Oh come on. As if you give a shit about her work or business.

It works socially precisely because it's passive aggressive. The alternatives are passive ("hi, so sorry, would it be possible for...") or what some clients perceive as brusque/aggressive ("hi, please pay by xyz date"). Certainly the whingers on MN would find the latter an affront too.

People get irritated by passive aggressive gentle reminders, but from experience they can get downright offended by direct reminders, or can drop you entirely. Sorry, not gonna sabotage my business and clientele base to make some MN whingers happy.

This is definitely a thing! If you go in to shops that sell a lot of high vis, there are loads like this.

You can also get signs that looks like they are police signs, eg no parking etc.

Oh help I’ve just written about the half a biscuit woman at work and you’ve just reminded me that she used to do this too, send “polite reminders “ about absolutely every little thing, used to irritate the heck out of me.

I use this quite a lot at work in an 'I really don't want to piss you off but can you for the love of god do that thing that you know is part of your job description, that my team and I really need you to do, that our users DESPERATELY need you to do, so that we can stay compliant THAT I'VE ALREADY REMINDED YOU ABOUT TWICE ALREADY DESPITE IT BEING IN EVERYONE'S CALENDAR'

Ahem...

It's just a more civilised way to say it - JFDI

I use this quite a lot at work in an 'I really don't want to piss you off but can you for the love of goddo that thing that you know is part of your job description, that my team and I really need you to do, that our users DESPERATELY need you to do, so that we can stay compliant THAT I'VE ALREADY REMINDED YOU ABOUT TWICE ALREADY DESPITE IT BEING IN EVERYONE'S CALENDAR'

But if you send them a non-gentle reminder and they get pissed off it's not because you didn't gently remind them, it's because they cannot take responsibility for their own poor work management.

If they can't manage their work load they should tell their manager, not rely on you to tippy toe around being gentle.

What actually happens if people get pissed off when you remind them to do what they are meant to have done?

Our manager uses gentle reminders.

And absolutely it is tippy toe territory. The gentle reminders are sent out to everyone because they won’t deal with the individuals the note is actually intended to chastise.

Everyone feels aggrieved - apart from the very person who should be taking note as they give no shites.

When I see "Gentle reminder" I just always feel for the people/organisation collecting the money or responses or whatever, because you know there's going to be a big screaming banshee mother ready to wade in "HOW DARE TOU REMIND ME TO PAY! ARE YOU IMPLYING I WASN'T GOING TO PAY? OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO PAY. I'M NOT STUPID I KNOW IT'S ME THIS IS AIMED AT. EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU MEANT ME. FUCK YOU TELLING EVERYONE I WASN'T GOING TO PAY.". They point out its a gentle reminder in a desperate attempt to mitigate against banshee mother.

Me too 😁

You're right. It's because it appears to be anticipating a negative response from the recipient. The writer is basically saying, "I know this will piss you off so I'm trying to be gentle with you..." as if there's something explosive to be delicate about.

A simple "Just a reminder" reads far better.