Polite notice - please stop sending me “gentle reminders”

[UnsolicitedOpinions]

AIBU to be fed up with seeing these two things?

Why write “Polite notice” as a title to your notice? When someone has read the content of your notice, they will be able to decide for themselves whether it’s polite or not. Something isn’t polite just because the author says it is.

I also think that when people put a “Polite Notice” up saying eg not to park somewhere that maybe they think the word “Polite” looks enough like “Police” at a casual glance for people to be fooled.

Secondly, people recently feel the need for any reminder about anything to be “a gentle reminder.” It’s so passive-aggressive in my opinion. It’s just “a reminder,” surely?

Saying “just a gentle reminder” simultaneously sounds patronising and also vaguely threatening, like “this time it’s gentle, but next time you won’t be so lucky.”

AIBU to be annoyed by this?

I agree.

It's hardly going to be an impolite notice or a harsh reminder so it just ends up sounding bleh.

Yep passive aggressive with the sub text of "feckin do it" as the sender has a good idea the receiver will ignore it.

“this time it’s gentle, but next time you won’t be so lucky.”

Funniest thing I’ve read today
😂

@UnsolicitedOpinions I agree.

I absolutely hate gentle reminders, they really irritate me completely out of proportion. I often have to chase for a reply in my job and no gentle reminders from me

I have a supplier who, a week after providing me with something, will resend the email with "gentle reminder" in capitals, red and bold text at the top! It's so passive aggressive, it puts me right off prioritising his company!

I want to write 'no fuck off' on these type of signs.

They are a sign for 'arsehole lives here'

Wow, you are easily "fed up" OP. Honestly, what is wrong with people today? Gentle reminders have been around since I was young, and probably before that, and I've never heard anyone complain, or even give it a second thought!

I sent one to my boss the other day. I used gentle reminder as it was non urgent but I thought she may have forgotten (she had).

Didn’t realise it is so disliked.

@Threenow , I've never heard it before the pandemic and I'm no spring chicken!

How many gentle reminders are you getting!?

A gentle reminder is a way of saying that you have no authority over someone but they haven't done what they are supposed to. Its warning 1. Warning 2 is asking directly. Stage 3 is copying in management.

And remember that any reminder is annoying to have to issue in the first place.

I think its cheeky to be annoyed at how someone chooses to chase something up.

Pay for the York trip on time and everyone wins.

I always want to lash out at anyone who sends me a gentle reminder.

I swear if anybody else tells me to 'reach out' to them or somebody I will tell them to fuck right off and then once they arrive at where they've fucked right off to, they can fuck off some more and then when they get to there, keep bloody well going and if by some misfortune they should end up back near me, where they started fucking off from, then well, you know.

Some people must go through their work day in a state of suppressed rage to get so worked up about gentle reminders and the like.

A colleague of mine, an immigrant from Sri Lanka without a passive aggressive bone in his body, sent a gentle reminder to a stakeholder who sent back an aggressive aggressive response about it. I know who was more unprofessional and who I'd prefer to work with.

Don't mind the polite notices but do get irritated at gentle reminders, they do seem very passive aggressive. My dentist has two branches and oddly one will send a reminder of my appointment and the other a gentle reminder, I feel less affronted by the non-gentle one - the gentle one seems to suggest I'm the sort of person likely to forget my dentist appointment so they want to remind me without saying "oi, we know what you're like - don't forget!" As someone who has never forgotten a dentist appointment, or even needed a reminder, it mildly annoys me😂I don't usually have a problem with using 'just' though, a blunt reminder when the person in question may not even need it seems a bit aggressive and the 'just' softens it. I also don't think I associate it with women in particular, it's a fairly common turn of phrase I think?

YANBU

You don’t need to dictate to someone that you’re being polite or gentle, that comes across in the content and delivery of the message (or not, ha). I find it unnecessary. Just call it a reminder.

also I have seen signs where POLITE is written to look like “Police” against a battenberg type background. That’s a different trick!

YANBU. ‘A gentle reminder’ makes me want to pick up a baseball bat and do a full on Michael Douglas in Falling Down.

@UnsolicitedOpinions they say gentle reminder when they are afraid you won't be pleased. It's a cowardly way to say "I'm saying something you won't like but you can't fire back nanahnananahhh"

I like the ones like this:

POLITE NOTICE:

Please do NOT leave this by the doorway!!!!

You can almost feel the repressed rage.

The horse people around here wear this vest sometimes:

I am trying not to judge people on this kind of thing as I don't think that everyone has been taught to write clearly and directly. As my workplace becomes more diverse, including in educational background, we are getting more of these things pop up.

I seem to receive quite a few work emails that start with "I hope you are well". I'd very rarely start a work email with that - it just sounds like a letter to a pen friend. When I reply, they may well wonder why I don't reciprocate with hopes for their health. And if I don't judge others for their stylistic foibles then hopefully they won't judge me, for what is probably quite a brusque tone compared to theirs.

If I search my inbox (just for the last month), I have “gentle reminders” for 3 dentists appointments, a business-related bill, the fact that there’s a second-hand uniform sale on at school, a school trip payment, the fact that an e-card is available to sign for somebody leaving a post related to my profession who works approximately 200 miles away and whom I have never met or interacted with and a summer camp that I have no interest in my kids attending.

I seem to receive quite a few work emails that start with "I hope you are well"

This seemed to arrive in my workplace alongside Covid - presumably because the words took on more meaning than a conventional politeness.

I get your point OP. I think it’s sometimes well-meant, but can be patronising.

I had a male colleague (at the same grade as me) who came over to my desk to point out a minor mistake I’d made. He started with, “now, how can I say this gently” and I thought, “you patronising twat!”

Weirdly, this colleague later asked me out on a date. 🤨

‘I hope you’re well’ has been a thing for years and years.