To feel absolutely mortified

[IsThisIt1233]

Had a pop up shop today at my child’s school where you can try on uniform etc. Well both my kids decided today they would embarrass me and start running around and being silly. It was so stressful as I was getting judging looks from the other mums and I was getting really anxious and stressed, I tried talking and reasoning and even (quietly) threatening my kids there would be no treats and screen time but nothing worked. All the other kids were with their families behaving impeccably.

I feel like such a loser. I’m a single parent even though I have a husband (whole different thread). The most embarrassing part was that for a moment they both were calm so I saw a sales assistant and asked if we can have size up to try on when another parent (who I obviously didn’t see) started shouting that the sales assistant is helping her, I feel like such a loser as other parents heard her and were looking at me. I must have looked a right state.

I broke down in tears in the car (never once have I cried infront of my kids and don’t again). My kids were laughing as I was crying! Don’t know how to even react to that. I feel like a complete mess I can’t cope.

my kids are 4 and 8

How old are your children?

4 and 8

Did the mother really “start shouting”

or just raise her voice to say “oh that assistant is serving me!”

Both should know better

and an 8 year old laughing at his / her mother is appalling. Actually the 4 year old too.

I am not blaming you! Was this one off or a pattern of behaviour?

how have you addressed the behaviour and laughing ?

It was more of an aggressive tone. Not screaming but loud enough for most people to hear. It was more the aggression in the voice.

I’m a single parent and I very very much doubt you were judged given the divorce rate is 50%!

Your kids ran around in a shop and you're mortified? I'm trying to be gentle but that sounds like a massive over reaction.

Stressed, busy, perhaps her own children playing up

I broke down in tears in the car (never once have I cried infront of my kids and don’t again).

if this has made you cry for the first time ever in front of them - then I’m guessing this must very much be a one off?

Breathe. It’s over (thank God!) and this will soon be a distant memory. It’s so tough when kids turn feral in public and nothing you say has an effect, you have my full sympathy

It is OK to cry in front of kids!!

It shows them that it is normal to have emotions, if you try and repress those emotions all the time it teaches them that emotions are not OK and they won't learn coping skills for when they get upset.

It sounds like you have just had a really stressful day. It is unlikely the judgement is anywhere near how bad it was in your head. We all have shit days where we can't control our kids and we feel rubbish.

@TooManyAnimals94 no the mortifying part was with the other parent and it caused me embarrassment as other parents who I know where there and heard her.

End of term and kids are hyper. Have a cup of tea and sit quietly to recalibrate. Later you can quietly tell the DC that you are very unimpressed by their bad behaviour both when shopping and when mummy was upset.

If you made threats then unfortunately you need to see them through. You aren’t a failure or an object of ridicule. The other parents will all have their own stresses and were probably just glad it wasn’t their turn for children behaving like banshees.

And breathe.

@Sunnyfeelgood it was more the embarrassement of the other parent having a go at me. I went bright red and another sales assistant came over as he saw what was going on. He was helping me and I was getting more flustered and red. I felt like such a loser.

And she’s probably mortified now!

your children must generally be very very well behaved for this to have caused you such extreme distress

So glad another sales assistant came over to help you. I'd have been more mortified if I'd just been left standing there to be honest!
As someone else said, it's over now, it was a crappy experience, but you got through it. Just think, in 15-20 years' time, you'll be telling this story and laughing about it!

The only person mortified is the parent who spoke to you like that

We all have those days where are our kids ar skittle shits, it's just one of them x

Were the other dcs robots? Their being bored and being a pain sound normal. Laughing not so. You definitely need to address that. The other parent, pah fuck her she's a cow.

Have a glass of wine and phone a friend for a moan.

I don’t think I’m explaining it very well but I’ll try: it was the embarrassment of the parent “having a go” at me infront of parents I know and I went red. I got very flustered. Then my kids continued running around.

I am struggling with my mental health and I have CPTSD which means I can’t just get over things easily. I keep going over the incident and regretting how I did things.

Divide and Conquor - it sounds like you kids are ganging up on you - they both need serious consequences for their behaviour, but split them up, talk to them separately and carry out their consequences separately. Don't let them gang up on you in the future

i think I did see the woman if I’m being honest but I just didn’t register the Dane’s assistant was helping her. My brain was just frazzled.

The other parent was in the wrong - it wasn't up to her to interfere, it was incredibly rude of her. The sales assistant could have found someone else to help you with her interference.

Children play up all the time and there is no harm in letting them see you are upset due to the consequences of their actions. Don't be so hard on yourself

Look, it was the end of the school day, at the end of term, at the end of the school year. I don’t know where you are but it’s muggy AF where I am. Honestly cut your kids a little slack, they could probably feel your stress and were reacting further on top of everything else. They shouldn’t laugh at you crying, I’d have said ‘does mummy laugh when you’re sad? If I’m kind to you then I expect you to be kind to me for a moment’.

The other mum was bloody rude though, adults should have a better hold of themselves over a simple mix up.

This is a total non event. Don't give it another thought. Sometimes my kids behave like angels and sometimes they both play up and don't listen to a word I say.

The other parents most likely were just thinking thank God it's not mine today!

The one other mum shouting that she was being served is literally nothing to do with you, maybe she was stressed herself or in a hurry.

Kids misbehave. They are not fully in control of their behavior yet. Brains not fully developed. Follow through with your consequences and move on. This isn't a crying matter... and if it is, that's more about your state of mind than your kids.