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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

530 replies

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
RoseGoldEagle · 13/07/2023 11:36

Yes that’s horrible :-( Plus I’m sure most teachers don’t want 30-odd parents trying to get to know them anyway, as if they have the time for that!

Libre2 · 13/07/2023 11:37

Can I just put your mind at rest here? DH used to be a primary class teacher and was incredibly grateful for any gifts he got. The ones that stick out were a lobster (!! - caught by the girl's dad - very random) which DH thought was amazing but another teacher thought was awful (goes to show you can't please everyone) and one was a tile mosaic done by a special needs child in his class with their class number on it. He got this about 15 years ago, and it's still on display in our house.

MrsR87 · 13/07/2023 11:37

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

This is horrible and makes me sad and angry in equal measure. I’m a secondary teacher so don’t get as many gifts but I treasure each one because I know that the pupil and/or parents have thought enough of me/ valued my input to them enough to think of me. Alcohol and chocolate are consumed fairly quickly (although not on site 🤣🤣🤣) and gifts like the rock from the OP are kept in a memory box in my study at home and I do look at them from time to time and remember.
I teach languages and one year a girl made me a flower out of little beads and then wrote me a little message explaining the symbolism of the flower in French and laminated it (that one made me cry).
Please please know that most teachers are very grateful for anything they receive but don’t expect anything!

NotAllPets · 13/07/2023 11:37

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 11:34

I wouldn't let my child over the age of 5 think a rock is acceptable as a gift I'm afraid 🤣

I have been a teacher and a parent and I think gift cards from the whole class is a best idea, parents contribute what they can, whether that's 50p or £50

Why not? The child has had an idea for themselves. I think it’s lovely, that child was probably really proud of their idea, they may have even taken time to select the right rock knowing my children.

A good gift comes from the heart. It isn’t about how much money is spent on it.

Lucyintheskywithadiamond · 13/07/2023 11:40

Personally I think the concept of giving gifts at the end of year and Christmas is getting out of hand. I never did this for my 2 DC but I used to see parents trying to out do one and another, I thought they were just embarrassing themselves.

Hibiscrubbed · 13/07/2023 11:41

For me the rock would have been one of the best. It’s very sweet. I hope the kid in question, who would clearly remember him, doesn’t hear that.

MC Grammar was, I thought, a pretty decent sort. Maybe not. Maybe it’s all gone to his head…

Nicknacky · 13/07/2023 11:42

Nicknacky · 13/07/2023 10:59

Question for the teachers, if you are happy with a card/picture/letter, do you message the parents and tell them no need to buy a gift if that’s all you would like?

Just in case this has been missed. Anyone?

Jumbojade · 13/07/2023 11:43

Mariposista · 13/07/2023 09:41

'World's best teacher' memorabilia of ANY kind is naff and unwanted - just don't bother!
You can get the teacher something thoughtful without spending a lot of money, or team up with a couple of the child's friends. COL is a factor - but hard to believe when the same parent claiming COL for being a cheapskate is going on quite a nice holiday this summer (case in my daughter's class).

Maybe she didn’t want to give to the teacher, but felt that she couldn’t just say no, so blamed COL instead.

However, I am absolutely disgusted that you have branded her a cheapskate, because she didn’t want to give towards a teacher’s gift! Since when did buying gifts for teachers become a must? Teachers do get paid to do their job you know and receiving gifts is not part of their contract.

You also suggest teaming up with other parents, to buy a bigger gift. Did you know that nurses (and other NHS staff) and carers are very limited in what gifts they can accept? Spa days or higher value gift vouchers (as some posters have suggested) are a complete no no and accepting something like this would make them subject to a disciplinary. Perhaps teachers should be treated the same as these other groups (especially when there are people being derogatory about some parents not giving, when other parents think they should)!

justteanbiscuits · 13/07/2023 11:43

Every year I just got a plain covered notebook and got the kids to draw a picture of their teacher and write their name on the front with a thank you message inside. I figured it covered personal, actually useful and very cheap!

One year I went above and beyond because the teacher, in my experience, had gone above and beyond during very trying times.

the80sweregreat · 13/07/2023 11:43

In the 1970s my mum insisted I bought some linen hankies for my year 6 teacher! No idea why tbh ,but people did use them back then.
I don't recall buying presents for any of my sons teachers at all. It's become a thing I suppose like everything else.

Mariposista · 13/07/2023 11:44

justteanbiscuits · 13/07/2023 11:43

Every year I just got a plain covered notebook and got the kids to draw a picture of their teacher and write their name on the front with a thank you message inside. I figured it covered personal, actually useful and very cheap!

One year I went above and beyond because the teacher, in my experience, had gone above and beyond during very trying times.

That’s a lovely present. Personal, not too expensive and useful (all teachers need notebooks, even if it’s just to write shopping lista on during boring meetings 🤣)

LetMeGoogleThat · 13/07/2023 11:45

Ugh, all teacher gifts make me sick! When I worked for the LA, I would have to fill out a form for any gift over £5. Therefore my gift to teachers was the reduction of paper work at the end of each term, I said thanks and gave no gifts.....

BCSurvivor · 13/07/2023 11:45

I would rather buy for the teaching assistants than the teachers, as I feel they do an amazing job and are often over looked.

Sweepea3 · 13/07/2023 11:47

The nicest presents I’ve had have been handwritten letters from parents thanking me for teaching their child-they didn’t cost anything but their time and a piece of paper.

Yes, the handwritten cards expressing thanks were always treasured and have been kept long into my retirement.
Ditch the tradition and stress. Commit in writing the impact you feel the teacher has made upon your child. That’s valued very, very highly.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 13/07/2023 11:48

My mum was a teacher, as her children, we liked her getting chocolates. I do know she kept a few small ornaments that were gifts from children.

brunettemic · 13/07/2023 11:49

I don’t honestly see why you’re so worked up about it. Some of the guidance is fair, we’ve thrown out loads of mugs over the years DH has been given that people have just wasted their money on.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 13/07/2023 11:50

Well there are over 600,000 teachers in the UK. Some of them are going to be idiots. Just a shame this one got radio air time.

StellaJohanna · 13/07/2023 11:54

A teacher called "Mc Grammer"? Is the wrong spelling supposed to be funny? I don't get it.

gingeelise · 13/07/2023 11:54

I'd rather get nothing than a load of cheap tat that will just get thrown out! Agree with most posters that a handwritten card/letter is the way to go, something with actual sentiment that can be stored easily if they want to keep it.

tunbridgeoutrage · 13/07/2023 11:57

I have a feeling that he might have been cringing when he finished that radio recording. He is probably mortified about what he said about the rock gift. I had to do a radio interview once and I got so nervous that I said things in the moment that I couldn't take back afterwards. However, I agree with you, OP.

marblemad · 13/07/2023 11:58

I'm not giving teachers gifts for doing the bare minimum of THEIR JOBS that they CHOSE TO DO. If the teacher is outstanding and has genuinely gone above and beyond they'll likely get a thankyou card and chocolates but not bloody giftcards or football shirts.

Moonlaserbearwolf · 13/07/2023 11:58

Nicknacky · 13/07/2023 11:42

Just in case this has been missed. Anyone?

Show quote history

No, but then I’d never ask people not to bring gifts to a party. It’s too prescriptive - I feel adults should be able to make their own mind up about whether or not they would like to give a gift.

Sunnysunbun · 13/07/2023 11:58

Don’t buy us gifts. Read with your children

LivinDaylights · 13/07/2023 11:59

I'm married to a teacher (high school not primary) but he still gets bits and bobs at the end of the year. We think it's lovely, wine is always drank and chocolates eaten. To be honest a hand written card saying thank you is the best gift he receives, it's nice to know he's appreciated. Any gift is really kind and not expected. He doesnt have any best teacher mugs 🤣 could be very telling!

FussyPud · 13/07/2023 12:00

StellaJohanna · 13/07/2023 11:54

A teacher called "Mc Grammer"? Is the wrong spelling supposed to be funny? I don't get it.

MC Grammar, as in Master of Ceremonies. Part of his rap persona. He writes grammar raps and the kids like them - some find it easier to absorb their learning that way.

(We do cards and the odd box of chocolates or biscuits for the staff room)