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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

530 replies

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Elphame · 13/07/2023 10:23

I have never given teacher gifts.

Humpf · 13/07/2023 10:23

I don’t mind the mugs either and like to ‘flex’ that I am indeed the best teacher EVER whenever I have people over😂

laveritable · 13/07/2023 10:23

Remember when my DC was in Primary school, I bought her 3 Eastern European teachers 4 bottles of big fairy washing up liquids each! ( My poor child was so embarrassed). The teachers LOVED it!

NancyPickford · 13/07/2023 10:23

I went through 12 years of school and never brought in a present for a teacher, nor did any of my classmates. Never witnessed it. Mind you, I went to school about 100 years ago, so I don't know when this became a thing.

Philosopherstone · 13/07/2023 10:24

Not a popular opinion at all but I'm just being honest. We have a teacher in the family and the amount of cups they get for either Christmas and end of year is absolutely silly. If your going to purchase something then best to be done edible for example that doesn't take up space. About 5 diary's each year are given again which just go to waste. Tat from home bargains like this year a large tin in the shape of an apple with shortbread inside. I mean it's he tin goes straight on the bin. Honestly don't waste your money just make a hand written card if you want to give something.

Last year she was given a homemade candle holder which whilst the sentiment was nice it was massive and filled with glitter. What a waste of money and time for the parents and child who give it, unfortunately it went in the bin.

24Dogcuddler · 13/07/2023 10:25

That interview sounds awful and he’s been so ungrateful.
In one of my first schools I taught in almost every child would bring a gift which was so overwhelming.

Still remember children being upset and even apologising for not bringing a gift ( as if turning up to a party without a birthday present) I always made it clear gifts weren’t necessary.
Personalised messages from a parent, child made card or message written by a child are always lovely and treasured.
Love the books idea.

I’m retired now but the gift giving does seem to be getting to be a worry for parents.

A TA in one of the nurseries I visited was given a Pandora bracelet! Initially she was asked by management to return it but they didn’t want to upset the parent. They put a gift policy in place after that though.

When our youngest daughter left school after A levels, she bought this for her French teacher. Ten years on I believe it is still in her kitchen.

Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!
Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 10:25

Hufflemuff · 13/07/2023 09:23

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

What a mean sentiment from that teacher, as others have said, hope the kids who gave him stuff weren't listening, and I hope his current class are and he gets a big fat nothing at the end of this year!

Deathraystare · 13/07/2023 10:26

Not a teacher so would never get a gift but if some kid had given me a rock because "I rock" I would have blubbed!

BezMills · 13/07/2023 10:26

DDs teacher and TA for Reception will be getting a bottle of decent wine and naice chocs each. They have been absolutely marvelous, and we can afford it

(* both from Aldi, I'm not made of money!)

Doteycat · 13/07/2023 10:27

I dont buy teachers gifts, never had and never will. Appalling practice.

Runnerupthehill · 13/07/2023 10:28

As a teacher, I’m horrified to read the OP. Honestly, the best thing is a hand-written card from the child and a parent email(with the head ccd). Those always make me feel appreciated and I’m very grateful for any child or parent that would do this.

CoteDOpale · 13/07/2023 10:28

What a greedy so and so! The rock and the Doritos sound very sweet, poor kids.

That said, I think the whole ‘teacher gift’ thing is a bit OTT - we didn’t have this when I was a kid. Consumerism for the sale of consumerism.

BlueAndGreen89 · 13/07/2023 10:28

Sounds very tone deaf from both the teacher and the radio station.
The best gifts I ever received from parents were handwritten cards where they told me what a difference I had made in their child’s life. I was always very appreciative of the chocolates and wine I received. If it wasn’t a wine if I’d normally drink, I’d just regift it. But to be snarky about a gift someone - anyone - has given you is extremely rude.

TheChosenTwo · 13/07/2023 10:28

Coming back to add that once a child brought me in a rock from his trip to the beach that weekend. Someone thought it looked like a person standing up. Over the next few months we had more rocks come in, they all lived on a shelf, we had class votes for the names and some of them started making costumes and accessories for them 😂 Some of them were desperate to finish their work quickly as on a Friday afternoon when we were mopping up work from the week as I would let them make a costume - it got quite creative, I remember one of them having a top hat and several had glasses made from old quality street wrappers!
This teacher from the radio was hasty in dismissing the rock, they can be excellent fun.

willWillSmithsmith · 13/07/2023 10:31

We never bothered with any of that when my children were at school. It was never a thing when I was growing up and can’t see why it’s a thing now. That teacher sounds horrible and doesn’t deserve anything. Or perhaps I’d have got him a ceramic poo with his name on it!

OhDeniseReally · 13/07/2023 10:31

YANBU and it is goes against the rules actually. In my area, teachers are not allowed to accept any gifts over the cost of £10 as it could be seen as a bribe and is unethical.

Partypiddler · 13/07/2023 10:32

I'm a teacher and this has annoyed me! Teachers generally don't expect anything but do like a heartfelt card. That's true! Where I work, the parents do a kitty and buy one larger gift for the teacher. It's only expected because it's part of the culture of the school to do this every year, but because I feel I deserve it for doing my job. Any gifts I get are always appreciated. I once got a £5 voucher for M&S and thought, perfect: that will sort me out for a nice coffee and scone in their cafe! Parents, please never feel stressed. Teachers like getting anything! I've never met a teacher who wasn't just thrilled to be handed a bag with something in it!

carduelis · 13/07/2023 10:33

OhDeniseReally · 13/07/2023 10:31

YANBU and it is goes against the rules actually. In my area, teachers are not allowed to accept any gifts over the cost of £10 as it could be seen as a bribe and is unethical.

It’s hardly a bribe once the teacher’s finished teaching the child, though, surely? What’s the teacher going to do - be especially nice to that child just for the last day of the year?

MenoRageisReal · 13/07/2023 10:34

He definitely does sound like an arse. And out of the thousands of amazing, warm, caring, friendly female teachers they could have had speak about gifts, they had to pick the male arsehole ... I wonder why ... Hmm

MenoRageisReal · 13/07/2023 10:34

Last 2 years, I have managed to persuade some parents to give me a second hand children's book for my class library with a message from the child I taught. THE best option!

This is a fantastic idea!!

StefanosHill · 13/07/2023 10:34

Yanbu and I do contribute, usually for a voucher

Ungrateful indeed

Nowaybak · 13/07/2023 10:35

The best way to solve it is, don’t buy anything. Homemade card.
I rarely bought them anything, bought the occasional box of biscuits. Once made a cupcake, didn’t care if it went in bin. My DD loved making them( well helped with very clean hands) and we had cupcakes to eat.

StefanosHill · 13/07/2023 10:35

I love the rock idea and Doritos are fine

Grabby man

Toddlerteaplease · 13/07/2023 10:35

I think the rock is adorable and would. Definitely keep it on my shelf!

carduelis · 13/07/2023 10:36

willWillSmithsmith · 13/07/2023 10:31

We never bothered with any of that when my children were at school. It was never a thing when I was growing up and can’t see why it’s a thing now. That teacher sounds horrible and doesn’t deserve anything. Or perhaps I’d have got him a ceramic poo with his name on it!

I would actually love a ceramic poo with my name on it. I always have a little chuckle to myself whenever I say “put your stools up”
at the end of the day…