Teacher gifts - ungrateful shit!

[Hufflemuff]

More of a rant than a question to be fair!

I was listening to Heart radio this morning and they had a teacher on called "Mc Grammer" (a rapping teacher - cringe) who was discussing teacher gifts and "what not to buy"...

He said one of the worse gifts he ever got from a student was a Rock - because the pupil said "he rocked" (aww) and some Doritos because that was the pupils favourite crisps (bless). He also said mugs were mostly an unwanted present "there's only so many cups of tea you can drink" apparently.

He said in the past he's gotten an Arsenal shirt, Nando's gift sets and gift cards... He said you should get to know the teacher to find out what they like and buy them something personal to them.

AIBU to be totally pissed off by this mans arrogance. It was totally tone deaf during the middle of a cost of living crisis to suggest parents buy gift cards (the minimum of which is usually £10) and other expensive presents in order for it to be considered a worthwhile gift. The fact he poo-pooed that boys rock as "one of the worse" gifts, which admittedly you wouldn't put on your mantel piece but the sentiment was there. He didn't consider that the boys parents might not have the money to buy a 'real' gift but he still wanted to give him something.

Ah!!! I was so very cross. It was the expectation to get something as a certainty and even then, he might not have been satisfied with it.

I have teachers in the family and they are always happy to get anything at all, no matter what it is. I think he was a really bad representation of all those caring teachers and Heart did the profession a real disservice by having him on.

Rant over! Gah!

I understand the sentiment behind what he's saying, but he shouldn't have named and shamed. That's really mean.

I think I would keep that rock forever if a child gave me one. I think that's the opposite of the worst gift! That's so cute.

When my late OH left a school in 1974 he was given a lovely letter from a very grateful and appreciative parent, it is still with his 'stuff' years after he died, it's that sort of thing that matters most.

What also pisses me off: I work in a deprived area so get a few candles, mugs etc (lovely and appreciated). My own DC are lucky enough to go to school in a well off area. There is always a class collection for the end of year teacher gift, so the teacher ends up getting approx £200-£300 gift voucher! So the teacher in the well off area essentially gets a tidy bonus! That's not including the Christmas gift/collection!
As a teacher, and parent, I agree teacher gifts should be banned.

I hope he declared any gift cards or expensive presents for tax purposes….

What a great idea with the books!

I know I'm in the minority but it was always assumed that everybody likes wine - I don't and used to hate the thought that a parent had wasted money on something that was going to go in the next raffle.

No teacher asks for presents and lots of families don’t give them. It’s nice to receive thanks after working your arse off for the year.

These threads just smack of ‘teachers are crap’ yet again.

My DH once got a message from a mum, stating that she had organised a whipround and had collected £300 for him. She asked where he would like vouchers for, he asked for one of these oxfam gifts to equip a classroom. It would feel so wrong to ask for something for him.
He has kept every card thst the kids have ever sent him (and it's a huge hello fresh box full).

We do a class collection here. I think they raised over £300! Nice one for the teacher 😃

An underpaid TA that I know brings home her gifts, shows her friends and family. Thanks each child and their parents. She keeps the cards in a file. And puts the drawings in her fridge for a couple of weeks. Anything she cannot eat or drink she takes and shares with friends and family.

He sounds like an entitled arse.

I have 3 children, 15 - 9. I have never once bought a gift or card.

I have supported all of my DC's teachers by ensuring my DC's know to respect them and work hard at school. I have made sure my DC's know not to try and undermine their teachers and that as a parent, I'm part of a team with their teachers, not their enemy.

I have made sure my DC's have achieved, taken part in their school community and been mini education ambassadors. I have always had a great relationship with my DC's teachers, including secondary.

Gifts are not compulsory, but if you're lucky enough to receive them, have gratitude ajd donate/recycle whatever you don't want.

My DC's do make cards and write letters of appreciation, including letting some teachers know how they've inspired them and made them want to learn more and grow. That's worth its weight in good in my eyes.

I work in a school and the teachers there appreciate pictures drawn by their pupils the most. They were given other things too, but the pictures were the ones they loved most and showed me.

So no an expensive gift is not needed.

I teach secondary kids but I keep every single card I get and stick them all up inside my cupboard at school (I don’t have an office) so I can read them when I have my fortnightly fit of wanting to quit. I would much rather have a heartfelt card than any present.

I trained in social care and we weren't allowed to accept gifts, especially not gift vouchers . If the clients wanted to make a gift it had to be to the centre or to the staff room. I think the same rules should apply to teachers. A card is fine but anything else should be a no. It would put a stop to all this nonsense

Had you considered the possibility that he might have been joking? Just a thought...

But mugs are a rubbish gift that end up in landfill/ charity shops. You have to remember that your child's teacher is teaching 30 odd pupils. Imagine 10 of them buying a mug. I think teachers genuinely don't want or expect a gift. Just give a card. It isn't being ungrateful to not want a mug, they just don't have the space for them! It isn't hard to understand.

While I agree that he shouldn’t have sounded ungrateful, I completely get what he’s saying about mugs. How many best teacher mugs can a teacher use? Imagine being given several a year for 30 years. It’s just so wasteful. I remember one parent bought a teacher friend of mine a tote bag and a mug with a photo of her child’s face printed on it. It gave everyone a laugh but that’s just crazy, what on earth was she thinking! Write a thank you note or card, buy a box of malteasers or all club together and get a gift card/ wine but the ridiculous wasteful crap just needs to stop!

I do get what he means about mugs though. I don’t want them!! Shall we all stop buying mugs?

But yes, that was ungrateful and any gift is a lovely gesture. I’d never tell someone that I didn’t want the mug, I’d quietly charity shop it.

I love the idea of an old book (or toy?) with a message from the giver in it.

He's right about the mugs though I see so many teacher mugs in charity shops . I guess mums buy them for the following year 😂 so they just circle round . As for the rock - now that's ungrateful. He could put that in the garden .

I always get 1 or 2 mugs a year. However, I probably break 3 or 4 a year, so that's fine by me!

you're obviously going to get a lot of crappy gifts. no big deal. The thought is there and that's what matters.

I am a teacher and I think those personal hand- made gifts are the best! I just think you should appreciate anything and not expect anything. I have my own children so know how expensive these things can be. It was really shitty for him to out a child like that and that sort of public ridicule will stay with that child forever so he really ought to apologise.

I think it needs reigning in.
At DDs primary the majority of children were on FSM, parents either didn’t work or on low incomes.
Last day of term they would come with giant gift bags stuffed with things saying ‘worlds best teacher’, lots of apple shaped things, balloons, such terrible waste.
If you go into a primary school staff room you see ALL the mugs.
one year DD had a terrible teacher and they still all bought her best teacher gifts, it was so strange. I think it’s parents making a show more than anything.

It’s not the same at secondary thankfully. Teachers get the odd box of chocolates and they are THRILLED. A very experience HOD brought a letter into my letter from a year 11 leaver and was crying her eyes out at what he had written about what a difference she had made to him. It was so lovely.

I didn't hear the article but he's right to suggest in a cost of living/climate crisis buying cheap gifts without use or purpose doesn't make sense.
A card, plus a small consumable gift that could be used/swapped/raffled makes more sense.
I used to get DD to write a card and then gave a gift either to the teacher or something like a box of biscuits for 'everyone'in the expectation teachers would divvy up communal gifts or cascade them elsewhere. I had an unexpected glut of allotment produce one year and handed that over 😂 my gift was mostly potatoes!