My sister has recently got married after a horrible relationship and now has a blended family. Before this, we were close and supportive of her but…Ever since she has met this person nothing I or my family do is enough for her. My mum and dad are in their sixties and I have a family of my own.
Her family is now a family of 9 due to all the kids and she is constantly asking for childcare so she and her partner can have time alone. I’m happy to have one or two but I don’t want to babysit 7 kids plus my own at once. The same with my parents. If we don’t agree to take care of her children she sulks and say we are uncaring, despite my mum providing childcare for atleast 2 a week. I have sleepovers with 3 at a time.
I live a lot closer to my parents and they live in a different town. Sometimes I meet up with my parents without her (I have 2 children who are well behaved whilst, although I love them, hers always cause chaos and can be unboundaried and hit adults and my children) and she gets angry about this too.
She was in hospital a few months ago for an emergency operation and me and my family took all of the children so her husband can go with her. Following this, as we were exhausted and due to work etc we did not visit her for a few days when she came home. She has fallen out with us because of this.
She also takes no interest in any of our lives and is in her own bubble with the new husband. I like him and he is nice but he acts as an echo tunnel to her selfish behaviour.
I don’t want to argue with her or cut her off but god knows what to do anymore because it’s frustrating giving so much effort to another family whilst I get called out for being unhelpful or uncaring.
Myself, partner and parents work and have activities outside our family and she often upsets my mum by her behaviour. What would you do to tackle this?