To allow my son to do this on holiday?

[HistoryRepeat]

4 years old. Loves the water. But can't swim. We go every week in the kids pool and he's leaning to kick, use a float.

We are on holiday. There is a big slide and it goes into a deep plunge pool. The pool is only as wide as a bath. Very small but v deep.

DH saying DS not allowed to go as deep and he can't swim. I say he should be able to go and I stand at the bottom and catch him. The kids do go under but I would be right there. Its such a small pool, you can touch each side. I know he can't swim but if someone is literally stood there to catch him? He did go down one slide and went under for 2 seconds, he was a bit shocked but again I was right there scooped him up and he wanted to again.

Anyway turned into a big thing as DS is obsessed with going and DH insistingjust paddle pools. DH is safety obsessed imo but he says I'm being ridiculous and that I need to trust him and respect his viewpoint and I'm not presenting a united front.

Kids currently watching screens, DH off in a huff and me wandering why I work all year to afford to take them on holiday.

Would you let your kid who can't swim on the big slides if you were at the bottom? Am I being lax?

Btw when you get back get lessons sorted for September so that he can swim a bit next summer. Round here they all start at 3.5/4

It's actually mostly sensible advice and comments.

Can he put his head under water and is he good at holding his breath when he goes under? Then maybe, with you there at the bottom. But if he's not, then the fright of the plunge could cause him to inhale water. Use it as the incentive for DS to get swimming lessons when you get home from holiday.

My DS refused to learn, then we went to a water park in Spain but he was only confident enough to go into the babiest of slides and hated seeing other kids younger than him have fun. He insisted on lessons when we got back and worked his arse off passing all the swim levels.

He's like a fish now but even so, our family still always supervise each other and be within grabbing distance at all times. It only takes an accidental bump to shock you into inhaling water and getting into difficulty, even if you are a lifelong experienced swimmer. .

Sorry, OP, but you remind me rather of those parents at playgrounds who insist on allowing their small children to go on equipment designed for bigger ones and get in the way of age-appropriate users by hovering or even going on it with them. Your ds really doesn't have to be allowed to do everything that's not suitable for his age/stage yet. Plus far too many things can go wrong with your catching him plan. He could knock you sideways coming down at speed. He could slip out of your arms. Then there's the risk of him swallowing too much water. I really don't think that's histrionics. Water can be very unpredictable. It's safe until it isn't.

Part of learning to swim and the confidence is that you can go under water and make your way back up. Floatation devices give false security.
So if he knows at the end of the slide he goes under water and you scoop him up/he learns to kick to the surface then there is no issue and it can only be a good thing for his confidence?

I would be using this holiday to teach him how to swim.

Wow, i knew childhood around the area I live (national park near coast) was unconventional, but half the people in this thread would have a fit of they saw the activities that parents regularly do with their kids here.

My 5 year old goes rock climbing (real rock outside), she rides red mountain bike trails on a shotgun seat on either DH or my bike, I stick her in a bouyancy aid (with crouch straps) and we jump off a swimming pontoon into the local lake together (obviously it's deep because it would be dangerous to jump into shallow water), last summer when the lake really warmed up she would jump off the paddleboard in the middle of the lake, she climbs trees with the older kids from school etc.

And I'm quite tame really, friend of a friend took their toddler paragliding with them.

OP YANBU to catch your kid at the bottom, assuming they enjoy going under the water, it's a quick way to build water confidence if they like it.

A big slide into a bath sized pool you can stand in? Sounds like no other slide I've come across. Are you downplaying it?

If the place is lax about safety and doesn't have lifeguards (basic) then I'm completely with your husband.

Kids have to learn that they can't do everything all of the time. For good reason.

So what this thread shows is that there's a variety of opinion. Some agree with the OP, some don't.

It almost doesn't matter at this point which of them is more right than the other. Their disagreement is spoiling the holiday; the DH, believing it's unsafe, is unlikely to back down.

So pragmatically, the OP should let this one go. Tell her DS no, the big slide is for big kids who can swim. Then go and do something fun, and get on with his swimming lessons.

Some of the replies on here are way OTT and some are absolutely bonkers. If the mum is right there to catch the child and she’s well able to stand in the water, it wouldn’t even enter my head to say no, especially if he’s wearing some sort of floatie.
My kids have all loved waterparks since they were toddlers, they’ve gone down slides and under the water at the end, three of them loved it, one wasn’t keen so didn’t go on it again. I didn’t even actually catch them but was there to help if needed.

Good lord, the flapping on this thread is unbelievable. Yes I'd do this. Sounds like fun, and if the landing spot is basically a plunge pool it can't be a slide that produces a lot of velocity (needing a long landing strip so to speak). Just a slide and a plop at the end.

I used to let Ds2 aged 3 jump off the side of a pool 1.2m deep every week. He would "swim" underwater, surface and I would be there to grab him. He was incredibly water confident but couldn't swim on the surface and no lessons because he was 3. He knew to hold his breath just before he jumped. Because the pool was only 1.2m deep I could very easily stand up in it. But there was a lifeguard at the pool which was reassuring in case I had some sort of tv appearance worthy medical emergency.

He is 5 and can listen to instruction, I honestly don't see the harm in letting him try it.

Why not get your son to practice jumping into a pool so he gets used to going under water? And get him some armbands or a flotation vest.

Both my kids graduated from swimming with flotation devices to swimming without when we were on holiday with a pool. It’s the ideal time to improve swimming skills.

What if you get struck by a meteorite?
What if you are shot by a stray bullet?

Do you ever travel by car?

I think of all the likely outcomes getting smacked in the face by a stray foot is the one I'd be concerned about.

Put a life vest on him. But I’d happily wait at the bottom and scoop him up just be very strict that he’s only allowed on in when you know and can be there as I’d worry he’d run off on his own otherwise.

I would tell DS that he needs to be able to doggy paddle to the side of the pool to be able to use the big slide. Then spend a day teaching him to do this with arm bands on.
Once he is capable of this he is safe in the water anywhere. Which should be the first priority of any child.

His safety comes first and you don't need swimming lessons, just take him out of his depth with arm bands and show him how to doggy paddle to the side repeatedly, you can walk along side but he must do it, stress he must learn this first.
Once he has he hang of it gradually let the air out of the arm bands little by little until he can paddle to the side without the flotation effect, and then without arm bands.

I grew up with no money for luxuries as swimming lessons, but we lived on the coast so it was seen as imperative for safety that you could sea swim as early as possible. All of my friends, and my brother and l, learnt this way by 3/4 years old.
My father used to carry my brother and l out to chest deep (on him) and tell us to doggy paddle until we could stand up, he just walked alongside.

The allure of the big slide should motivate DS, and he should nail it fast.

No if he hits you or you slip and you go under, even if you manage to grab hold of him you would find it b difficult to get him out the water and you to stand up.

Im all for giving kids confidence in the water but I’m with your DH on this. Use it as an incentive to get him to swim

Use this as a lesson to DS how water needs to be respected, if there’s any situation to err on the side of being risk averse it’s water. Use the time in the pools to practice swimming.

Does your DH not work? You say you’re paying for the holiday, you seem to think that this gives you reason to control everything that goes on there. Is there something else going on here you’re using the slide issue to raise

“What happens if you don’t catch him?” … surely he’ll go under water briefly until she reaches him. He’s not falling into the abyss.

i think different people are visualising it differently. I went to a water park with dc in France and did what you are saying with my twins. They could see me from the top, knew that only one was allowed to go at a time (this one had 4 slides in a row) so one would come down into the water and I’d lift them up to the side of the pool with them going “yay” and giggling, then I’d get back in position and dtd2 would come down.

Lately my younger daughter start making demand to go on school trip to a hill station. This is my first time. How can parents let their daughter go away from their eyes and that too on a hilly area. Should I too go clandestinely after her? what should I do?

Adding myself to the “what if” brigade.
What if he wandered off to do it again and before you know it he’s hurtling down the slide with no one to catch him?

People must be envisioning this very differently to me- I think it sounds absolutely fine, wouldn’t think twice. I don’t really understand the
people saying “it may only be a tiny risk but why take a risk at all?”- if you genuinely thought that you’d never leave your w.

Your problem isn't whether a child should be allowed or not, different people have different levels of risk taking/aversion.

Your problem is how you and your dh compromise when one wants to be the cool/fun parent and the other wants to do what they also genuinely believe is best (regardless of whether that is for safety, health, etc).

On this specific issue imo, as the child's other parent, your dh's safety concerns should take precedence.

I’d let him do it - with a flotation vest, and me standing at the bottom.

No way! If your child had a floatation device on, and you were waiting to catch him, then yes maybe. But without floatation devise (float vest/arm bands etc) then no way. If he can't swim he could drown. Simple as.

If only people would at least read the OPs updates!
I'd be okay with this, as long as the pool was quiet and I'd have a flotation vest on the child.
Enjoy OP!